‘Whatever makes you happy, my love.’

They’re simple words, so genuine and heartfelt. Spoken with truth to them they have the power to make you feel as though you’re the only person in the world who matters. Or, perhaps even, the only person in the world at all.

A few weeks back, I made a post titled Tips for coping with anxiety from a Psychiatrist.

One of the tips mentioned in that post, reads as follows:

Think of a memory, one happy memory, and keep that memory at the top of your mind, always. When you think of happy memories, it produces serotonin in your body that can help boost your mood. If you keep one happy memory at top of mind, always, you can use that memory when you’re feeling triggered. Forcing that happy memory on your brain when you’re feeling anxious/stressed can help trick your brain. It’s not going to take away the things in your life causing you stress, but it will help you cope with the stress better.

Because I have been implementing this step into my daily routine, and because my world needs a little more happiness in it each and every day, especially in the past week, I am making the effort to write down my happy memories that I choose to remember in times of stress. Here goes…

Knight likes to buy lottery tickets. I’m not sure if he did prior to meeting me, but, one of the things we talked about on our first date was what each of us would do with the winnings if we ever one the lottery. Ever since I’ve known him, he’s always purchased lottery tickets.

Whenever he goes to the store, he purchases two lottery tickets. One for him and one for me. He turns to me, smiles and tells me to pick wisely.

“What if I chose both?” I ask, specifically trying to be a pain in his ass.

“Then take both,” he laughs. He’s not kidding when he tells me to take both. I know that if I did, he’d let me keep them both.

I’ll give him a ticket back, naturally. I mean… I’m not totally selfish. (I am. But I can be fair, too) And then I continue the discussion explaining to him that if I win, I’m keeping all of the money to myself.

“Whatever makes you happy, my love.” There it is. There’s those words. Genuine. Heartfelt. Thoughtful. Truthful.

“You’re also aware that, if you win, you’re required to share half of your money with me, right?” Chuckling again, he says “I’d expect nothing less”.

It’s the small things, they means so much to me. The fact that when he speaks these words, I know he’s being truthful. The fact that I know he’d never ask a dime of me, if I ever did win the lottery with a ticket he purchased for me. The fact that I’m absolutely certain that if he did win the lottery, he’d want to split it me.

People talk a lot about hypothetical scenarios, and honestly, he and I do a lot as well. I think that our hypotheticals mean more to me though, because there is a layer of truth to them that I don’t get from anyone else I’ve ever known.

I’m not wealthy. I haven’t won… yet. But there’s always a chance. I guess that’s why he purchases them. While I know I like to joke, the truth is, I’d likely give him all of the money if I won on a ticket that he purchased for me.

Thinking back on these moments, it brings great happiness to my mind. It’s my trick to forcing serotonin in my brain when I need it most. It’s my light on the dark days and a means to make me smile, no matter what.

Grateful for the Warriors

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms with babies in arms, moms with babies in heaven, mom’s who are struggling to conceive, adopted moms, step moms, dads who are mom and moms at heart. We see you. We appreciate you.

*The above was written by my friend Amanda. I stole it because it adequately explains the sentiment in my heart on a day like today.

My mom’s pretty sick today. She’s been having a rough weekend all around. Her last day of treatments was Friday – we’re not really sure if her body is struggling because it was her last day, or if it was a stronger treatment or what, but she’s been in bed most of the weekend. That being said, she’s happy. And that’s what matters. She’s a warrior. The true warrior of 2019 and beyond.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you and I am so thankful for you. Here’s to many more years of Mother’s Day ahead.

When life hands you lemons…


Something happened this week that I was not expecting.

See, I’ve been afraid to tell anyone of my upcoming trip because I feared judgement for booking a plane ticket when I don’t have a steady stream of income. If there’s one thing I’m certain of in my life, it’s that the people around me can be extremely judgmental. And, though I know it comes from a place of love, it still comes… at times being really hard to deal with.

Moral of the story is that I didn’t want to be made to feel badly for doing something for myself.

I kept waiting for the right moment in which to break the news and continued to find excuses as to why it was never the right moment. As my date of departure draws closer, I knew the news needed to come out soon otherwise people would notice when I disappeared for multiple days.

Then, out of the blue, I was invited to an event this weekend. Knowing right then and there my time was up, I faced the music and admitted that I was headed on a trip. What I did not expect was the gracious and kind responses I received in acknowledgement of my trip.

They were kind. So kind. Telling me things like ‘Good for you! You deserve this’ and ‘I’m so happy that you’re doing something for yourself’. One of them even offered me money to help pay for the trip. To be honest, I was quite shaken by these responses. Happy, but shocked. I guess it goes to show though, as much as you think you might know someone, people can always surprise you.

That’s a huge weight off my back leading up to my trip. As much as I want to believe that the only opinion that matters is my own, the opinion of those that I love still plays a large role in my life. And I can now leave on Saturday knowing that the people in my life are supportive of my decision, my mom will be looked after, and the wanderlust in my soul can be fulfilled, at least for a few days.

When life hands you lemons, buy a plane ticket. Go somewhere that’ll make you happy, that’ll make you smile and that’ll set your soul on fire. You deserve it, damn it. Take advantage of the here and now and just go.

Smooth transition into a new topic:

On the recommendation from followers on this blog, I purchased some Apple Cider Vinegar last week in hopes that it would help with my adult acne. Though I’ve only been taking it for one week now, I have to say that I have noticed a difference in my skin. My acne has always been the large painful, red, blotchy sores around my lips/lower cheeks and chin area. Over the past week these spots have transitioned into much smaller, less swollen spots on my face. It’s not gone, no. The spots will be there for a long time, I am sure. But it’s nice to see some improvement in my skin. It makes me feel better about my appearance, even just in the small changes happening.

So, thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for leaving a comment, thank you for being kind and thoughtful and helpful.

International day of Happiness

According to twitter, today is #InternationalDayofHappiness. So, I obviously can’t pass up the celebration of an internet made holiday, and to celebrate, I have been reminding myself of all of the positives and good things I have in my life right now.

  • The most amazing coral-coloured dozen roses that are presently sitting in the front windowsill of this house. ❤
  • Two adoring chihuahuas who follow me everywhere I go and try to protect me from everything, including the big bad birds in the back yard, the noises of the furnace, and potential monsters under the bed. #ChihuahuaGang
  • Five straight days of incredible weather. Seriously, I haven’t seen the sun this much in six months. The beautiful and warm weather is giving me all sorts of positive vibes these days. Everyone needs some Vitamin D every now and again.
  • My ‘Millennial Life Crisis’ t-shirts. I made t-shirts out of the logo that I made for this website, my instagram and twitter and honestly, I love them so much. Every time I see them I’m like ‘Yeah, that’s mine’ and I’m filled with a weird sense of pride. It’s cheesy, I know. I made my own shirts!
  • A new job prospect. I don’t want to say too much because I am honestly trying to not get my hopes too high, but I would love to be back to work soon.
  • A gluten-free cake currently baking in the oven.

There’s more. A lot more. When I stop to think about it, I’m pretty blessed, even in spite of all of the crap going on. I guess it just goes to show, though, there’s always a bright side – you just have to choose to see it. Gratitude, always.

The struggles of being a girl, part two.

I realize with the last list that I made that there are so many struggles that come with being a girl. And so, I’ve compiled a part two. This is meant to look at things in a light-hearted way, but also, to be informative and serious. This list is not meant to bash anyone or tear anyone down. I’m also not whining, I’m just talking about the very real reality of being a female in 2019. Here goes:

  1. “Don’t be such a girl” and”Don’t be such a pussy” and “You’re such a whiny little bitch” and so on and so forth… We’ve all heard them before. It’s likely that we’ve even said them ourselves a few times without realizing what we’re doing. Have you ever noticed though, when someone from the male gender is insulted, he’s referred to as having some sort of feminine characteristics… implying that females are weak, horrible and whiny. I most often hear men use them as insults, but I will say that women do it as well. Whenever I hear it though, I remind people that if their main form of insulting someone is by degrading my entire gender, they’re coming off looking pretty stupid.
  2. The Pink Tax. Have you ever looked at two like products, identical even, one marketed towards women and one marketed towards women? The women’s item costs more. Always. Companies put higher prices on items marketed towards women – though it might be just small, it’s something that adds up. 8% here, 10% there and you can look at thousands of dollars by the time a year is done. Where you can, if you know about the Pink Tax, you can buy the products marketed towards men. But, it’s not always possible. And imagine how much that adds up over a lifetime. Next time you’re in the grocery store – wander down the aisle and compare like products of men’s shave gel to women’s shave gel, or a men’s razor to a women’s razor. There will be a difference in price.
  3. Wage Disparity. It’s a proven fact that women earn 79 cents for every dollar that a man makes for like positions of employment. I happen to have experienced this firsthand at my last position – where I had a male counterpart with no education, four years less experience than I and little-to-no knowledge of the industry, who made 12,000 more per year than I made. This happens everywhere. Men seem to be valued more in work environments in spite of what a female may bring to the table. I have a friend who, in an entry level position obtained with his bachelor’s degree, makes more in his second year of work than his wife does with a PhD and five years experience. Now I understand they work in different industries, but how does a doctor make less than someone who barely scraped through a bachelors degree? I think that it’s something people gripe about, but then often forget about and move on with their lives because it seems like a battle too big to wage. But honestly, I wish there were more people talking about it. There are doctors, lawyers, welders, mechanical engineers, and so many more women who are making less than there male counterparts for seemingly no other reason than they are not male.
  4. Feminine hygiene products are a ‘luxury’. This is an important thing to to note – in many parts of the United States, and the world for that matter, feminine hygiene products are taxed as being a luxury item. This has nothing to do with the Pink tax, this has to do with government’s making a willing decision to declare these products as something that is not needed, but rather, something we just choose to buy because we like them. This luxury tax can range anywhere from 5 to 14 percent, for the purchase of something that is ‘not a necessity’ according to government. I don’t know when PMS became a choice, but if I could choose to be without it, I would. In the meantime though, it seems like a lofty price to pay over a lifetime solely for the fact that you’re a woman with properly functioning body parts.
  5. When your bra tries to kill you. (Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic with that leadup) It’ll happen so casually, you’re just out one day – walking down the street in the sunshine with a friend or your dog and bam… out of nowhere there’s a sharp pain in your chest. Just because the laws of the universe say you can never keep your comfortable bras, one wire has exploded out the side of your bra and shoved itself into your skin, possibly hard enough to cause you to bleed. It doesn’t happen very often, but I’m certain that every girl knows how it feels.
  6. Trying to run with big boobs, or boobs in general. I’m not a runner. That is largely in part to the size of my boobs. I explained it to a male friend of mine once by asking him to put his backpack on his front instead of his back, and then telling him to run down the road. I genuinely think he understood after that point. It’s just… harder. If you’re a girl and you’re a runner – I commend you. Girl you are my hero.
  7. Being slut shamed without being slut shamed. Honestly, when you try to explain a story of something that made you uncomfortable, or scared, or mad, about an interaction with someone and the person you’re telling the story to asks “what were you wearing?”, that’s a real piss off. That’s how you slut shame someone without calling them a slut and I hate it. I hate it when I hear that phrase. Whether you’re wearing a mini skirt or a down parka, it really doesn’t give anyone the right to mistreat you.
  8. When we focus on our work we’re considered not girly enough and we when we focus on our looks we’re considered vain. That’s really all there is to it. No explanation necessary.
  9. Bobby pins and hair ties seem to grow legs and walk away. I can’t even fathom how much money I’ve spent on these items over the years. Where do they all go? Perhaps they’re all having a party somewhere in the sunshine. Oh, it’s especially the worst when you’re down to your last hair tie and you go to put up your hair in a nice ponytail and the hair tie breaks in your hand. Cringe.

Regardless of your gender I think we can all agree that we need to be nice to one another. Everyone goes through struggles in life and we’ve all got a battle to fight. Be kind.

Struggles of being a girl, part one >

Things that you should do E-V-E-R-Y SINGLE DAY

These things, they may seem rather straight forward, but, sometimes it’s just nice to see things in writing to remind myself. I know that I need a reminder every day. I also find this list is filled with things that are really easy to overlook/talk yourself out of doing.

  1. Drink water. There are integral benefits to your body when you fill it with lots of water each and every day. Feel a headache coming on? Drink some water. Feeling thirsty and tired? Drink some water. Bored? Drink some water. It’s not a be all to end all cure, but it sure does help in a lot of ways.
  2. Wash your face. Your face is your first impression – get yourself a gentle cleanser, one without fragrance, and make sure that you’re washing it. Get rid of the dirt and impurities that might be hiding in your skin after a long day of it being filled with pollutants. Guy or girl, your skin will thank you for it.
  3. Watch the news. Read the news. Listen to the news. And I mean the news, not a facebook or twitter update. I believe that it’s highly important for EVERYONE to be informed of what is happening in the world. You might not think that things half a world away will have an affect on you, but when Saudi oil prices rise or goods from China are more heavily taxed, these things will make a difference in all our lives. Really, I could go on and on about this one – but I’ll just leave it with – keep yourself in the know so that you don’t look like a fool if you don’t.
  4. Be active. Whatever this looks like for you and your body and your lifestyle, do it. Stretch, go for a ten minute walk, go to the gym, do some yoga, do whatever it is that you can to get your body moving and your endorphins running. Endorphins trigger positivity… and who doesn’t want to be more positive?
  5. Stay organized and clean. There is truth to the statement ‘healthy space, healthy mind’. Walking into a dirty house, bedroom or bathroom can fill you with anxiety. Don’t allow yourself those triggers. Keep your home organized and clean.
  6. Wear sunscreen… EVEN ON CLOUDY DAYS. UVA and UVB rays can penetrate you anywhere and everywhere. Protect your skin from being leathery and wrinkly when you get old, and protect yourself from the very real reality that is skin cancer. That’s not meant as a scare tactic. It’s just something that’s true. It’s so easy to put on sunscreen, so why not?
  7. Eat breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, nutritionally speaking. It sets your metabolism for the rest of the day and it either makes, or breaks (if you don’t eat it) your energy that you can put forth during the day. Start your day with a nutritious breakfast and notice the difference in makes in how you operate the rest of the day.
  8. Face your fears. Insecurities are something that can very easily eat away at you if you let them. But, if you go out and go after your fears each day, even if it’s in a small way, they’re not going to feel so big the next day. I think Lululemon penned the saying originally, but ‘do one thing a day that scares you’.
  9. Ask yourself “Do I really need this?” In this day and age, it’s really easy to purchase things that you don’t need but feel the desire to buy because of a whim. If you have a hard time keeping a budget, or even if you don’t, don’t be someone who collects thing just to collect them. If it’s going to take up space and clutter your life, you don’t need to bring it home from the store.
  10. Remember who you are. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like being yourself isn’t good enough. If you’ve got a sense of humour, if you’ve got a bubbly personality, let those shine through. Let the world see who you are and don’t ever shy away from that. The best people in this world show exactly who they are. Don’t ever be afraid of that.