Ideas for the most incredible jobs on earth.

I’m job hunting today. Well, I’m job hunting every day, but today my mind has been wandering and it’s been hard to get back on track. In my ideal world, this is what my career prospects look like:

Airline Tester. Go with me on this… wouldn’t it be an incredible resource to have one database, one place, somewhere on the internet that broke down the important aspects of flying with different airlines? Things like customer service, food quality, amount of leg room, cabin space for carry-on baggage, hidden fees and so on and so forth… For the people of which money is not an issue, having a resource that shows them the incredible ‘benefits’ they could get with certain airlines they won’t get with others would likely be a very valuable list. And for those looking for the ‘best bang for our buck’, when tickets can so often be the same, or very close in price with multiple airlines, I think it would be a great resource to help people find the best, cheapest option so they don’t have to gamble and hope for the best. And no, this person cannot be a Youtube star or ‘Influencer’ of any kind because this list needs to be done in a manner that is not sponsored in any way, shape or form.

Google Earth Mapper. I think it would be very cool to spend my time driving through neighbourhoods and locales around the world capturing footage of that place to ensure their images get added to google earth. Sure, it does seem like a lot of places are presently on Google Earth already. But I can attest that in my area of the world, at least, small towns have largely been ignored for google earth. And that, I’m betting is a part of the project Google will get to eventually. It’s likely they’ve just focused on major locales first, and slowly trickled down from there. For that reason, I think I’d be a great person to drive through neighbourhoods and capture footage of small towns.

Fan experience coordinator for a professional sports league. It’s important to note that I don’t think this person should be hired by an individual team, I think they should be an employee of the league to ensure that their opinions and reviews of certain franchises aren’t biased by being an employee of said franchise. Professional sport leagues across North America (and I’m guessing elsewhere in the world as well) are all looking to grow their audience and bring in new fans. The sad thing is, the majority of teams are operating under the notion that if they do silly things like add a cheerleading squad, that will bring more people to the field, the stadium or the rink. None seem to be willing to truly invest in bettering their product/experience, yet tickets to sporting events continue to get more and more expensive with each passing season. These leagues need someone who is honest, unbiased and ruthless to experience what each team provides and report back as to how to make the experience not suck so hard.

Professional house sitter. I read once that wealthy people who own multiple properties around the world will often times hire people to house sit their properties when they’re not in them. Given that in North Vancouver alone, the majority of properties are empty mansions owned by wealthy foreigners, I think this could be an incredibly luxurious and lucrative career if you knew how to break-into the industry. (I have a hunch that a lot of it is through who you know) I’d be happy to house-sit for someone for the months of the year they’re not using the property and then go travelling for the period when they show up to use their mansion.

Mattress Tester. Have you ever seen commercials for mattresses which they proclaim the mattresses have been tested? Who does this testing? Do they get to take the mattress home and sleep on it to give their honest thoughts in return? Or do they have to go to a warehouse and sleep there, under a controlled environment? Either way, getting paid to sleep on comfy beds seems like a great career.

Travel guide. Not a tourism guide, but a travel guide. Someone who gets paid not to show you the Eiffel tower, but rather, to take you to Paro Takstang to share a meal with the Buddhist Monks and to show you the culture of the penguins who call the Falkland Islands home. Your cell phone won’t work in these places, but your heart will be full, your head happy and your soul fulfilled. There’s so much more to the world than what the tourism companies lead you to believe. Being someone who can show you the nitty gritty of greatness, that would be a really great career.

Career Guidance Faciliator. Wouldn’t it be cool if you could go to a career fair on the internet? You wouldn’t have to go out and interact with people who may or may not be any worth to you and your career in some hall or banquet room, but rather, you could wow someone from the comfort of your own home. Since in 2019 you already need to blindly send your resume to said companies anyway, what if you knew that on October 20th at 2:00 pm, said HR representative of X company you’re looking to work for will be online in chat, doling out advice, chatting with job seekers, accepting resumes and talking about what it really takes to get hired at X company? Would you go? You could have the opportunity to wow them from the comfort of your own home, and even if you didn’t wow them during that session, you’d still have earned the career advice they doled out. The idea, it’s a work in progress, but I think it could be a lucrative option partnerships alone, if executed properly…

Wasted my time and money for a career fair today.

There’s a certain large media conglomeration in Western Canada that runs career fairs throughout Western Canada over the year with promise of ‘Jobs for EVERYONE!’

The advertisement, I’ve seen it for years, reads ‘Come one come all! Dress to impress and bring your resume and get ready to work!’ The advertisement also lists that it’s for those serious about taking the next step with their career and that companies would be present from all over Western Canada, including some big logo brands that operate on a National and International scale.

I thought to myself ‘You need to go. You don’t have a job and if there’s big brands there, you could use that as a means to connect yourself to the offices in Calgary that you want to be at. It’s a better option than not going.’

So I went.

I drove half an hour to get there.

I paid $25 to get into the career fair because I believed that, like the advertisement suggested, I would be face to face with HR managers of some of the best companies and organizations in Western Canada.

$25 is not a lot of money, in the grand scheme of things. But it is also a lot of money when you are presently unemployed, as I am. I felt a little as though they were taking advantage of people who were unemployed in charging a fee to enter this career fair, but I also tried to remind myself that probably not everyone there was unemployed, there were probably some people who have jobs who just want better jobs or to change their career. So I let it go… at the time.

What I found upon spending some time in this career fair was that it was not, in fact, a ‘Come one come all’ type of career fair. This career fair was not for everyone. This career fair was almost strictly for those who work trades/labour positions – mechanics, electricians, builders, etc…

Possessing none of the skills or education required for a trades position, I felt as though I was duped out of $25.

There also no major companies there – not the one’s listed on the flyer. All of these companies were local. They were advertising people being able to be in front of hiring managers for these big, wide reaching companies and what my $25 got me was in front of the people who own the mom and pop shops downtown.

I have nothing wrong with mom and pop shops, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t need to pay $25 to talk to them. I can go in there any day of the week and talk to them. The reason that none of these mom and pop shops have given me a job thus far is because I do not work in trades. I am not an electrician, I don’t drive logging trucks, etc… so having me work for their company would do them no good.

This was a really disheartening activity for me to try and take part in. In trying to salvage the experience so that it wasn’t a total waste, I tried to hang my resume to three places, telling them if they had any office positions open up they should keep me in mind. The response I was met with was ‘Oh, we’re not actually accepting any resumes here today. You need to apply online. We’re only here to inform candidates of our existence’.

This had me thinking ‘why did the advertisement read ‘bring your resume and be ready to work’ if no one actually wants to collect resumes? I asked one of the women why she wasn’t taking resumes and she said ‘It’s all done online these days!’ I kindly responded with ‘Then what’s the point in taking part in a career fair?’ Her response was ‘To meet new candidates and direct them to our website!’ I, as nicely as I could, said ‘Thank you so much for wasting my time and money today’. She herself probably didn’t deserve that level of snark. It was more the organizers that should have suffered the wrath of my snark but at this point I was really pissed off.

They advertise ‘Come one come all’ for a career fair that isn’t actually a career fair, but rather an information session about how to find the website to apply for jobs. They make it seem as though this career fair is for everyone across all industries when in reality, it was 90% for trades and labour positions and 10% educational institutions trying to convince people to sign up for more schooling. They include logos of big brands, big companies that operate Canada wide and make note of their being positions available across the Province and beyond leading people to believe these companies might just be there… when they’re not. Not one company who’s logo was on the flyer was at the career fair today. They say ‘Bring your resume’ and then no one who is there is accepting resumes.

I just… I’m so disappointed that I was this easily duped.

Needless to say I’ll think twice before I attend a career fair any time soon.

I didn’t have high hopes going in, but I had hopes. Hopes that if I could talk to the right person I could wow them with my sparkling personality start a genuine business connection. I was met with a lackluster excuse of a ‘Career Fair’ in which I’m ultimately sure the organizers took a lot of money from A LOT of people today who don’t work in trades and got duped just as I did.

On the way out I mentioned to one of the women doing reception that the career fair was largely geared towards those in trades and wasn’t meant for someone without a trades education, like myself. She agreed with me. I inquired if I could get a refund of my $25 or, at the very least some of my money back. She said ‘No, you went in, it was your choice whether or not you used that opportunity to make the connections you needed.’

I don’t say this a lot because I try not to call people this name… but she was an ignorant bitch.

I got duped.

Onto the next, I guess.

I am woman, hear me roar.

There are days in which people have a heightened propensity to piss me off. Today is most definitely one of those days.

When did it become appropriate for employers to conducting hiring processes to contact, and make requests of potential candidates via text message? Last night I spent nearly an hour filling out a job application for a particular tech company. This application was R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. Things were asked on this application that I doubt would come up in an actual interview of someone in person it was so thorough. And I filled it out.

Today the company reached out to me via text message. TEXT MESSAGE! No phone call, no formal form of communication whatsoever. They sent me a text message that didn’t even include a name on the message. It just said “He, we received your application for [X Company]”. This text message went on to request that I record a video of myself on my phone and text it to them as a part of the hiring process.

I’m sorry but when did it become a requirement in job hunting that I send videos of myself to a nameless, faceless corporate phone?

I called the number to speak with whomever was sending the text messages and no one answered. The voice mail was a man’s voice that said ‘Hi you have reached [X Company], please leave a message after the beep.’

Something about this stinks to me.

I texted them back and asked who I was speaking with and if they could phone me. The response that I got, not thirty seconds after they did not answer my phone call, was ‘This is [X Company] and we’re requesting videos from candidates who’ve applied for the position. We don’t phone any candidates until they’re being considered for the position’.

I take soooooooooooo many issues with that statement.

Why wouldn’t they answer my call if they could text me 30 seconds later?
Why do they think it’s appropriate to conduct hiring processes via text messages?
Why will they not provide me a name of who I am speaking with?
Why do they get to request videos from candidates if they’re not even willing to tell us their name? Are they judging us based on our appearance? (That’s the only reason I can think of a company asking for a video.)
Why do we have to send you a video in order to just be considered for the position?

Again, something stinks about this to me.

About 20 minutes later whomever is on the other end of this text message interaction sent me a message that said ‘Do you want the job or not? Videos are due in one hour. Please respond with whether or not you’re willing to take part’.

This is not a phone number that I can find listed for the company anywhere on the internet. It’s not on their website, it’s not on google. When I called the company to verify this is a legitimate request I was told I’d have to talk to ‘Jeff in HR’ and when I was transferred to ‘Jeff in HR’, I got a voicemail and he still hasn’t called me back.

This whole thing makes me so angry. I spent an hour filling out an application answering things that were really none of their business, only to get texted by a nameless phone number, that I cannot even verify is someone who is an employee at this company, asking for a video of myself to be sent.

I haven’t decided how I want to respond to ‘Do you want the job or not? Videos are due in one hour’ message. Part of me wants to just be a total asshole and let them know how unprofessional I find this whole thing. Another part of me wants to ‘play the game’ because I need a job and another part of me wants to keep calling ‘Jeff in HR’ to see if he’ll pick up his damn phone. If I had to hazard a guess, I’m going to bet that I respond with a really snarky response in about a half hour. Because this whole thing is really making me want to bust out my inner asshole.

This is what job hunting has come to… this is what companies deem appropriate. It’s fucking ridiculous.

The best things about unemployment

Switching gears from my ‘worst of unemployment’ lists, I wanted to talk about the positives that have come with unemployment. Because the pendulum still does swing, and there is still good in this world, no matter how sad I might get sometimes.

Unemployment sucks, but here are a few reasons why it has is bonuses:

Getting rid of that soul-sucking boss. Honestly, my last boss was a misogynistic overgrown frat-boy who ran an office like it was a locker-room and treated women as though the only thing we brought to the table were short skirts and an ability to fetch coffee. He didn’t think that I was qualified to fill my roll, didn’t believe that I deserved the position and made it open in the office that he really didn’t like me. Leaving him behind was an incredible gift for my psyche.

Getting rid of that soul-sucking office. My last office was the equivalent of a men’s locker room. Women were rated based on their looks, told to wear short skirts to meetings and treated as though we brought no value to the office and it was ‘a gift’ they were even letting us live in the presence of the men who worked there. Time after time after time I really didn’t want to go to work. The job itself wasn’t bad, but the people – they were so… awful. They were the type of people who made me not want to get out of bed in the morning. The type of people who would take credit for my work and then publicly (and I mean in the newspaper) shame me if something didn’t get done on time. Leaving them behind took a big burden off my shoulders and my heart. And I can honestly say, there isn’t a soul in that office that I miss.

Being able to take more time for myself. Prior to unemployment all that I did was work. All the time. Monday through Friday I was at the office from 8:30 to 6:30, sometimes 7:30 or 8:30. I worked most weekends and I never really did anything for fun. Since being unemployed, I’ve been able to do the things I’ve always wanted to do that I never got a day off for. I’ve been to the Ice Magic Festival at Lake Louise, done the air bubbles walk of Abraham Lake, hiked the largest ancient inland rainforest on earth, spent some time in Niagara Falls and Toronto, taken more than 10,000 miles worth of roadtrips and so much more that I haven’t even shared on his blog. And you know what? It’s been a dream come true.

Helping my family. As much as I like to rag on my family for the things they do to frustrate me, I’m also really grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to help them this year. Let me tell you, driving someone to the cancer clinic every day, cleaning up puke in the middle of the night, is hard for any person to face. I commend my dad for looking after my mom to the extent that he did because he really stepped up and did an incredible job, but I’m also grateful that I was able to be here and to help. Because when it’s family, you do what you can do.

It’s allowed me more time to write. To create. To build this blog. To take credit for my own writing. To say what I want to say. I know that it sounds counter-intuitive, claiming that I get credit for my writing on a blog that’s nearly anonymous (I say nearly because three people now know who I am). When I was working, I was writing all of the time for my job. I was writing things that my boss would take credit for, I was writing things that people from other companies would take credit for. I was specifically supposed to write things as though they sounded like they were coming from other people and not me. On the off chance that I did get credit for an article that I put together, I was reprimanded for not giving the article to my boss before sending it out. Here, I can say what I want, when I want. I may not have a face on this blog, but I have a person. And I value the person I get to be here… spelling mistakes in all.

It builds your strength and resilience. Rejection after rejection after rejection sucks. It sucks so hard I often break down in tears because I just don’t know what else to do. I will say though, no matter how many rejections I’ve had this year, I’ve always kept trying and I have always kept going. When it seems like it’s the easiest thing in the world to just give up, I won’t. I’m not going to give up. I’m reminded that I have the strength to get through this and I will damn well get the life I want and deserve. I know this now more than ever. Even on my bad days a piece of me still knows this deep down.

There are pros and cons to everything in this life. And for me, its a consistent fault of mine that I’m not always able to see the good. Today, though, today I wanted to remind myself of what good has come from this.

If you’e interested, my unemployment journey is detailed here >

If you’re interested, my travel diaries, tips and thoughts are detailed here >

The worst things about unemployment part two

Anyone who’s been unemployed for any length of time knows what it’s like to feel as though you don’t have a voice, a value or a place in this world. They understand what it’s like working hard to find work and ‘playing the game’ of the potential employer, to no avail, just waiting for your day in the sun.

Unemployment sucks and here are a few reasons why:

Being told you’re living easy. This one annoys the crap out of me. People think that if you’re not going to work each day, you’re not contributing, you bring no value to this world or their lives so all you’re doing is sitting on the couch watching Netflix. And since all you’re doing is sitting on the couch watching Netflix all day, you must not have any real problems and thus your life is inherently more easy than those with jobs. It’s a shitty assumption people make.

When people ask you what you do for a living. Do you tell the truth and deal with the awkward conversation that will follow? Do you lie and pretend that you do something you do not as a means to save face? Either way, it’s going to be awkward.

Being unemployed plays a contributing factor in many health concerns. Unemployment can lead to depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and other mental-health issues that affect every aspect of your life… and there’s really nothing you can do about it, especially if you truly want a job and it doesn’t seem to be happening, no matter how hard you try. It can cause serious tension, stress and strain on the body.

Being an adult is so much more enjoyable when you have money. It’s true. And when you’re not making bank, or you’re struggling to make bank through side hustle after side hustle after side hustle, sometimes it just feels like it’s all you can do to keep the side hustle. You’re not enjoying life, you’re just trying to stay afloat and stop the feeling of drowning.

Rejection emails. I’m talking about the finely-tuned art of an automated response that somehow manages to very succinctly, professionally, and somehow brutally, crush your hopes and dreams with the kind of disengaged effort that is, by true dictionary standards, effortless. You’re reminded of just how little they care about you (and all job hunters) and just how far removed we’ve come from basic human interaction… because it’s all automated, no-response email addresses these days.

No response from a company whatsoever. I’ve noticed a distinct trend on Indeed and LinkedIn in which, if the company doesn’t find a resume they like, they’ll simply delete the job posting and repost it to present day so that it appears at the top of the list of most recent listings. You don’t get a response as to why you’re not being considered, you don’t get to know why you’re not good enough and you don’t get an email to ask them WTF! I’ve seen postings appear 5 or 6 times over the past few months.

You become so used to rejection that you begin to expect it in other areas of your life as well. This plays a lot to do with the low self-esteem mentioned above. Picture this – you meet a man or a woman in the bar and you really hit it off. After swapping phone numbers you head home for the evening and then you’re hit with it… the doubt you have about yourself. The fear of rejection and the bracing of yourself for when you don’t hear from said person ever again. It’s a serious mind-fuck that allows you to start to believe you’re not worthy of people, places or things, let alone the job that started the whole avalanche.

Trying to talk about it with people is a struggle. When you’re stressed it helps immensely to talk about it with someone. When you’re unemployed, you’re heavily stressed out. Trying to talk about this with anyone isn’t really an option though because they either don’t understand because they’ve never been through it, or they just don’t give a damn because, if it’s not their problem, they don’t want to hear about it.

You feel guilty about actually treating yourself. There’s a notion carried in society that if you’re unemployed you should not be enjoying yourself and you should not do something for yourself or have fun of any sort. So, if you do take the chance to do something for yourself to try and boost your self-esteem or make yourself happy, even if just for a few hours, you inevitably end up feeling guilty for doing such action because… you’re unemployed, and thus should not be spending your money on what is deemed frivolous things.

Receiving unsolicited advice. Because when you’re unemployed everyone has an opinion about what you should do and everyone wants to share their opinions with you. The fact of the matter is, with the exception of a very few close people, no one truly knows what you’re going through, what you’ve done or what you’re presently trying to do to find work. Unsolicited advice often come with the assumption that you’re just not trying, that you just don’t care and that you just aren’t capable. Rather than taking the time to ask and learn, invest in you to ensure their help is worthwhile, they just take their assumptions and start throwing opinions your direction. These opinions aren’t helpful and can often add a lot more stress to your days.

Being too good for some jobs is a fucking joke. I have a Bachelor’s Degree and ten year’s of industry experience… and I have had to ‘dumb-down’ my resume to even get retail places to take me seriously. I’ve been turned down from Wal-Mart, MacDonalds, Burger King, and so on and so forth, because they believe if they hire me, I’ll leave right away. Because of this I’m in an awkward stage in which career positions don’t seem to consider me a viable candidate and retail positions consider me not a worthy investment and thus, I can’t even get a job as a cashier. Life happens. Sometimes people have to deviate from the plan, you would think that potential employers would be understanding of that fact. But no. I dumbed down my resume, took my education and experience off of it, applied to be a cashier at a local grocery store. When I went to the interview I thought it was going great and the store manager loved me! Within two hours of leaving the interview I had a rejection email in my inbox. I can’t even pretend to be dumb to get a job it seems.

People assuming you want to be unemployed. If you’re unemployed for a certain length of time, people genuinely assume that you just don’t want a job.

Jumping through ridiculous hoops to try and find a job in 2019. Companies are asking for ten references, for you to record 15 minute videos of yourselves to submit for them to review with your resume, asking you to fill out application questionnaires that can often take upwards of an hour per application, to take aptitude after aptitude test that prove nothing more than an ability for deductive reasoning. NONE of what they are doing in this time involves having an actual conversation with you.

Read:

The worst things about unemployment >

I would never wish ill will on anyone, but…

Through this journey of unemployment that I’ve been on, I was actually offered a job in Marketing/Digital Marketing in June. The company, after offering me a job and having me sign 20 pages worth of contracts for the position, waited until three days before my start date (July 15) to tell me they’d changed their mind and were rescinding their job offer.

I later found out they gave the job to the nephew of one of the managers at the office.

Fast forward to October.

Earlier today the company announced they’re changing their output from daily to once a week.

I wish no ill will on this company. I don’t at all. I never like to see companies struggle because I know that, especially at this company, there are a lot of people who work really hard who have now had their full time jobs cut to part time. But, perhaps if they’d hired me, an intelligent, talented and experienced marketing and communications professional who understands the economy, the audience and the industry, their business could have been pulled out of the gutter and they wouldn’t be cutting service right now.

Perhaps I could have brought new and innovative ideas to the table, expanded their reach and grown their print and digital platforms. Perhaps I could have done things that the boss’ nephew just can’t… being that he’s an Electrician and knows nothing about Marketing/Digital Marketing.

I’m not salty about this at all… actually. I just think it’s funny. They screwed me and now they’re getting their just rewards. The Universe always finds a balance.

Also, they were clearly, blatantly lying to me in the job interview and contract negotiations that I went through because all they could keep talking about was how good business was and how much they were doing. Clearly business wasn’t that good if two and a half months later you’re cutting your business to 1/7 of what it was.

Everybody thinks marketing is easy and that anyone can do it…

I just wish

I wish that people would get jobs based on their skills, abilities, qualifications and education.

As much as laws are in place to prevent discrimination, people are discriminated on every single day for their physical appearance, for their gender, for their race, for their lifestyle, for their voice, for their disabilities, for their demeanor, etc, etc, etc…

And they get away with it.

Every day, companies get away with it.