Thinking out loud.

I applied for a job that I’m perfectly qualified for, suited for, could rock better than any other candidate on the planet, and I know that. This job wouldn’t just be a job to bide time, this would be a career move. A career move that could open up some serious opportunities for me moving forward.

This job is in Calgary. I am in British Columbia. I am more than willing to move, and wanting to move.

The HR Manager responded to my resume submission with an email that contained her name and email address in it and a note that says “In the meantime, please feel free to contact me with any questions you might have”.

It wasn’t a LinkedIn Automated response, or message. It was taking the time to send me an email response stating they received my resume.

Would it be bothering her if replied to her email (resubmitting my resume in the email so she knows what candidate I am based in the email alone) letting her know my desire and willingness to move? Would that come across as needy? Is there any way that makes me look bad? I can see the benefits to doing so, but I am not allowing myself to do it because I’m worried it will make my application look bad and that I should just let go and let be what be…

Should I email her? Should I leave it alone?

Hey Universe, if you’re listening.

I have a phone interview tomorrow, for a really awesome position with a really awesome company, that starts in January. Universe, I don’t know if you’re listening or not, but if you are, how about you work some of your magic? I’ve seen you do it before and I could use some of it right about now.

It’d be awfully nice to have a new job to go to in 2020. Awfully nice indeed. Dare I go so far as to say it would make me have a very merry and happy Christmas? Because I really think this position could change things for me. I really think it could make me a better me, a new me, a happier me.

Is that selfish of me to ask for your help? I think that’s selfish of me to ask. I don’t care though. A girl’s gotta get her turn eventually, and this, this could be mine!

Universe, I would like this job. Not one three months from now, or six months from now, I want this one.

I would be so happy if they could like me enough to give me an in-person interview. I know once they met me they wouldn’t want to pass me up. I just need them to give me the in-person.

Goodness, I hope this goes well tomorrow.

Sincerely, A hopeful soul.

Day eight: running on fumes

Eight days seems like a lifetime when you’re not working.

It’s been eight days since I was sanctimoniously fired from my job of six-and-a-half years. Eight morning’s of wondering what I’m going to do with my life. Eight afternoon’s of anger, frustration and sadness, wondering what I’m going to do with my life. The most difficult to deal with of them all, eight night’s laying awake in bed wondering what it is I’m going to do with my life.

It’s safe to say that I’m not enjoying life right now.

Answering the phone seems to be an arduous task these days. Everyone has their opinions of what it is that I need to do next and everyone seems to believe they know what’s best. None of them seem to take into consideration what it is that I want.

Checking emails also seems to be a dreaded chore. When the subject line reads: “You’re 30 years old, get your life in order”, I can’t help but roll my eyes and leave it unread in my inbox.

I’m trying to figure my life out. But, as with all things in life, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Sometimes you have to go through struggle and sadness in order to determine what is really important. Sometimes it takes more than five days, six days, or eight days.

I guess I should be thankful. Actually, I am thankful. I am thankful that they care. I just wish that they would be a little more helpful and a little less anxiety-inducing in their caring. The death of a career, something you’ve seemingly spent you’re entire life working towards, it’s not an easy pill to swallow. I don’t have answers. I don’t have plans.

For now the plan is to keep everyone at bay. At least until I have more answers.

Currently feeling: whiny, sad, angry

-V