I’m looking for a second job. I need something to keep me busy. The way I figure it, if I can make myself busier, I’ll have less time to think. If I have less time to think, I’ll have less time to be anxious. At least that’s the train of though I’m presently following.
Plus it would mean extra money. Extra money is always a good thing, right?
Christmas is coming.
I need some new glasses.
I need some new work shoes.
Extra money could come in handy for all of those things.
The problem with finding a second job is trying to find one that has minimal interaction. There’s all kinds of jobs available around here that involve a lot of interacting with the public. While I greatly admire everyone who’s been working those jobs for the past seven months through this pandemic, I just don’t think I can be one of them. I need to keep my interactions with people minimal right now, for my own peace of mind. If the point of working a second job is to keep myself from being anxious, I don’t want to put myself in a position to make myself more anxious.
Right now I’m thinking a delivery driver would be a good job for me. That or finding someone who is willing to pay me to work from my couch. I know, I know, I know… a girl can dream, though. Perhaps if I hope for it long enough, I can dream it into fruition.
I’ve sat down to write this a few times this weekend. Each time I’m hit with a ‘you can’t talk about that’ frame of mind. So, I end up deleting it and closing my computer. Alas, here we are. I’m still not sure what I’m gong to say.
Things are changing swiftly around here. So swiftly that I am having a hard time keeping up. I genuinely was hoping that people would be more excited than they have been. But hey, I guess it’s my life, not their’s. So, what matters most is finding my own happiness. After all, we’re the only one’s responsible for our own lives.
To anyone who remembers my posting that I was going to give the website Medium a try, I have just over six in earnings so far. Not too bad, really. That’s six more dollars than I expected to make. Consider me pleasantly surprised.
I’ve noticed a distinct difference between Medium and WordPress. WordPress is the kind of place where I, and many others, dump out their thoughts. There are no rules, it’s more like the Wild West of writing platforms. Medium is very structured and very in-tune with rules. If you’re not going to follow the guidelines, you might as well not even hit publish.
That being said, I do believe that everyone is welcome on Medium. Don’t let the paywall intimidate you. If you want to write there, you’re welcome to write there.
In other news, I’ve been suffering from what I would consider to be extreme exhaustion as of late. I’m struggling to function, my headaches are such that it’s hard to be in a room with the lights on and my body aches. My body aches so badly.
The last time that I was dealing with these extreme of symptoms, I had some blood work done and that’s what started my journey towards discovering that I have celiac disease, a plethora of allergies to different foods and, extreme levels of malabsorption. I truly believe that I’m dealing with malabsorption right now and that it’s wreaking havoc on my body. Unfortunately, it sucks to deal with. That being said, it’s not exactly something pressing that needs to take up space at the doctor’s office. Doctor’s are inundated enough already with things that are far more pressing than mine.
Once things calm down and health care services are running normally again, that’s when I’ll seek out to see if I can get some blood work done. Until then, I’ll continue to take my supplements and eat the right foods in hopes that it gets better.
Speaking of getting better, British Columbia has started it’s ‘reopening’ process this weekend. Slowly but surely businesses that have been closed since late February are turning their lights back on, or will be soon.
I think it’ll be a while… at least a few weeks or more, before I venture into any place that I don’t deem absolutely necessary for me to be at. I’m still a little weary about being around people right now. B.C.’s provincial health officer is still urging people to proceed with caution. I’m really, really hoping that people will listen to her and won’t just crowd themselves into the closest bar, or restaurant or nail salon they can find. The last thing I want to see is a ‘wave two’ striking this province.
Tomorrow is Victoria Day here in Canada. If you’re celebrating the long weekend (silly suggestion, I know… every day is a long weekend right now) I hope that you’re doing it from six feet apart.
First and foremost, something I’ve posted to social media but not to WordPress, The Australian Red Cross is accepting donations from around the world. If you would like to donate to help those affected by the devastation of the ongoing wildfires in Australia, please click here.
If you do not have the means to donate, I would strongly encourage anyone who reads this to inform themselves as to what is happening in Australia and the reactions (or lack thereof) the Australian government has had. Australia has one of the most, if not the most, unique and diverse ecosystems on earth with hundreds of species who call it home that exist nowhere else on earth. Everyone should be aware of what is happening, what has been lost and what is at stake.
If you’re in Australia and have been affected by these fires, or not, my heart goes out to you. I come from an area of Canada that deals with forest fires annually and I know the heart-wrenching horrors that is watching the world burn up around you… and we don’t even have Koalas to worry about.
Okay, so where to start…
The house is quiet, for a few minutes at least. Insert casual Vee.
It is the first week of the new year (and new decade) and everyone who lives in my house has been sick. Really fucking sick. I’ve been taking them to the hospital to get IVs because they’re just that sick. It has made for a lot of long days and even longer nights. Let me tell you this – cleaning up someone else’s puke is no joke. I’ve always had a respect for doctors and nurses, but when I go through week’s like this week has been, I respect them so much more.
Today, I decided that I needed to do something for myself, so I went for a massage. I told the masseuse, a woman, that I was there to get the knots worked out of my lower back. (I’ve been dealing with some serious tension in my lower back as of late and I thought a massage might help) Her response? Lathering her hands in fucking oil and then running them through my hair. Did I want a head massage? No. Did she try to persist after I told her to stop? Abso-fucking-lutely. There aren’t a lot of things in this world that make me really, truly angry… but when I have clean hair you best not fuck that up.
I was relaxed up until that point. Actual smoke started spewing from my orifices. We had a very frank discussion about what it means to listen to a customer when they make a request of you and my angry voice came out. My angry voice RARELY comes out…
Sadly, that wasn’t the only time the angry voice came out today.
I decided that it would be smart to carry my open laptop, a glass of water and a plate of dinner downstairs at one time. Yeah, that didn’t end well for me. Thank goodness I have one of the most indestructible computers of all time, but I had some very choice words for myself after that happened.
‘You’re such a fucking idiot.’
‘This is why you can’t have nice things.’
I really hope that I’m not the only person in the world to yell at myself when I do stupid things. Also, there’s really no saving your dinner when the dogs run over to start licking food off the floor at the bottom of the stairs. So… protein bars it is?
Today’s score is: World – 2, Vee – 0.
In other news, I don’t think I’ve ever done this, but here’s a song that I really love:
This band is a favourite of mine. I’ve never heard a song of their’s I didn’t like. They’re a Canadian band and they actually had a song (Knocking at the Door) become a bit of a sport anthem in the past couple of years. It was used for the NHL playoffs, NBA Finals, the Super Bowl, the World Series, the World Cup, the Olympics, and so on and so forth. They’re not so much Indie anymore, but I still love them dearly and have fond memories of their incredible shows in dark, dingy pubs across this country.
Also, here’s a book that I really love:
If you’ve ever felt like you just don’t fit anywhere in this world, like you’re misunderstood and you’d be better off on your own, away from every one and every thing dragging you down, this book is for you. I’ve read this book probably… 30 times at this point. Each time I read it I get something new from it.
Alright, I think that’s all for now. I can hear my name being called from upstairs…