Monday thoughts…

Well, today has been a hell of a day. And, in his truest most genuine form, Knight has come to my rescue again. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without that man. I am a firm believer that you learn just how much someone can mean to you when you’re going through the worst of it and they’re right there in the trenches with you. That’s not for the faintest of hearts, so I am grateful that he hasn’t given up on me.

Something that I’ve realized is that I’m really good at telling stories and that I really suck at following up with them after the fact. So, let’s share some updates:

On January 10th I shared ‘Story Time – Blaming the other woman‘. If you read that story, if you remember that story at all, the update is they’re both pregnant. His wife and his girlfriend (who has been publicly reported as ‘side chick’ ) are both pregnant. Their due dates are actually less than a month apart. So, I guess their kids can be siblings! I feel for those unborn kids.

On February 4th I shared ‘She’s Pregnant‘. If you read that story, or if you remember that story at all, the update is, they got married. Yeah, they got married last Friday, Feb 21. The only people in attendance were his parents, her parents and her younger brother. I guess they’re going full steam ahead with this whole ‘we’re going to be a family’ thing. I feel for this unborn child.

Looking at my story updates, I’m possibly seeing why so many of the social media algorithms are sharing pregnancy and new mom photos to me. Everyone I follow/know on social media seems to be pregnant. Well, not everyone. But, there are a lot of babies coming in 2020.

Other updates:

  • During a recent job interview I was asked when I plan to have children and how many children I plan to have. I can’t even begin to explain all the things wrong with that.
  • I launched a Patreon account. So, if you’d like to support my blog, click the link in my menu!

Posts I’m working on for this week:

  • All of the reasons why you should love your analytics
  • The Broke Girls Survival Guide
  • Are the stereotypes of Canadians actually true?
  • The latest blogging scam I’ve seen going around

I’ll probably sprinkle in some daily life stuff in there as well. Because, why not pour my heart out to the internet? WordPress is a whole lot kinder than the real world. I will take suggestions to, if anyone has any.

Oh, also, please note that if you email me it might take a few days to get a response back to you. I typically respond to every email that I get, I just get sidetracked. Especially now that I am healthy again, my computer isn’t being turned on as often.

PODCASTS:

Before I share these links I just want to say that my voice is something that I’m often very insecure of. I have a very soft voice, naturally, and people use my voice as a means to judge me as unintelligent and ditzy. So, if you do listen to either of these links, please keep in mind that I’m not trying to talk quietly… that’s just my voice.

Geneva (from CerratoMom) has a podcast that I was a guest on this week. Click here to listen to our converation. We talked about a lot of different subjects, and if I’m being totally honest, it’s a lot of me talking over her, accidentally. Sorry G! Do give it a listen, if you have time. And do have your volume on high because each of us have an extremely soft voice so you’re going to need high volume to hear us.

Bradley (from ColdBrewCalls) has a podcast that I was guest on late last year. Click here to listen to our conversation. We speak about many things, from being a millennial to job hunting to travelling and much more. I quite enjoyed the conversation, and it is a long one. Give it a listen if you’ve got some extra time.

If you have a podcast and would ever be interested in having me take part, shoot me an email at millenniallifecrisis12@gmail.com.

Day 52: Officially three weeks without a home.

On December 31 I gave notice to my building that I would be moving out on January 31. In my mind, there was no way that I needed, nor wanted, to stay there longer than January 31 and so I was going to have a new fabulous plan and a new fabulous life to start on February 1.

Life knocked me on my ass.

On February 1st I started crashing in the basement of someone I didn’t know prior to February 1st. Crazy, right? I thought so too. But I did it.

In the past three weeks I’ve been hit with a daily reminder of why I need my own place. It’s such a blessing in life to have your own space where you can put things where you like, do things as you please and not have to worry about someone who flosses his teeth and leaves the picks on the table for each morning for you to find when you wake up. I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to get my own place again.

In the past three weeks I’ve learned patience in a way that I’ve never had to before. In the past three weeks I’ve been holding out desperate hope for a sign, a signal, something from the universe to show me that this is temporary and that everything is going to be okay. Yes, Knight does tell me on a daily basis that this is temporary, but I feel as though he has too. It’s his obligation to try and keep me thinking positively. And he works damn hard at it. I need to tell him more often that I notice, that I appreciate it and that I am thankful for him.

On the plus side, my motivation is not lacking. That’s a good thing. I know how easy it can be to get into a slump and stop doing anything and everything when you’re not working. I’ve definitely been there through a portion of the past month-and-a-half. Now though, now I’m in fighting mode.

My brain seems to be working faster than I can keep up with these days. I can’t contain my thoughts long enough to make them cohesive, and as such, I’ve wound up with more than 30 posts in the draft folder of this wordpress account. Pouring my heart out to the internet carries a certain catharsis that I can’t get elsewhere these days. So much so that I can’t stop writing.I guess there are worse problems to have.

Last night we had Persian for dinner and it was delicious. I wasn’t always someone to try foods outside-of-the-norm but lately, I find I’m becoming a foodie. I want to order random foods off the menu just for the heck of it. And this, random item from the menu was stupendous!

Alright, There’s two chihuahuas that are giving me the side-eye pretty hard right now. Time to get back to real life.

Day 20: When can I stop counting the days?

If ever there was a day, a moment, a time in which the steps could be taken – in which I could run away and leave everyone and everything behind, this is it.

That’s the dream, though. Right? Leaving the world you know behind in search of a beach town somewhere that you can sell fruit to tourists and live out your days worry free? Perhaps travel the world and never look back. That was always my dream.

With each passing day I get closer and closer to the move-out date for this apartment. The idea of moving out of this apartment excites me but also scares me. Not having a solidified place to move to is worrisome. Where will I go? How will I support myself? I don’t have answers. The only thing I do have is more and more questions.

Yes, it will feel exceptionally good to leave these weathered walls in my rear-view and truthfully, it’s a tad exhilarating to not know where I’m headed next. But, the sensible side of me is tapping at my cerebral cortex and politely saying “Make a plan! Make a plan!” At any given moment it’s difficult to decide which of my two seemingly-opposite viewpoints are winning.

I wish I had answers. Do I need a job to be happy? Is there more out there for me?

I wish I knew more.

My resolution for 2019 was to make sure that each day was better than the last. So far, I think that I have accomplished that. Everyone has their ups and downs, yes. But, the exhilaration of giving away all of my things and leaving this life is far more appealing then any down I am feeling at the moment.

Maybe I’ll travel the world. I’d like to start in Cambodia. How fantastic would that be to just get on a plane next month and say goodbye to comfort zones? Here I go again with more questions.

I am finding though that some questions are better than others. Some questions leave more room for the future than others. Some questions leave more peace of mind than others. Perhaps that’s the balance of life… knowing what to ask yourself and what to leave unanswered.

-V