Thoughts of July 13

When we start to better ourselves, the improvement often comes with deep sadness. This sadness comes from us realizing what we’ve missed out on, how badly certain people have treated us and what we did deserve up until this point and never got.

Healing involves grieving. Growth involves reflection. Improvement involves acknowledgment of shortfalls. Acknowledge it. Admit to it. Own it. All of it. And don’t you ever, for one moment, for one second, feel bad for cutting toxicity from your life. Boundaries are healthy.

I’m tired. The past few weeks of my life have been nothing short of absolutely exhausting.

People are exhausting. No, actually, people are disappointing. And I say that with what little faith I put in humanity. I expect below the bare minimum of people and they always somehow seem to disappoint regardless.

I just want to escape. I just want to leave everyone and everything behind. I just want to operate a fruit stand in The Maldives.

I’m just annoyed. I need to stop whining to the internet. I’ve put an emphasis on personal growth this year and it’s been hard to face who I am, who I was and what I haven’t been doing so long. It’s also been hard, though, to realize the shit that I’ve put up with from people in my lifetime. I’ve been way too kind to way too many people who really didn’t deserve it.