Quarantine Clich├ęs

Perhaps everyone’s in the same boat as I am, or perhaps I’m the only one who has noticed. Over the past month and a half I’ve noticed a distinct trend in content that has ‘overtaken’ social media. It all seems to be different variations of exactly the same thing. It’s trendy to follow suit. And hey, I get it… we’re all stuck at home and there’s a societal pressure to be as productive as possible during this crazy time.

For today’s productivity, I decided to compile all of the things that EVERYONE seems to be doing so that I can make a promise to myself to not do these things and continue to lounge around eating cookies all day long. Please note, the following includes a lot of sarcasm.

  • Buy a ton of canned beans that I am not now, nor ever, going to actually consume.
  • Join TIK-TOK… because the perfect place for an anonymous internet blogger is on a platform where literally the entire point of the app is to show yourself doing ridiculous things
  • Become a fine-dining chef who can cook absolutely anything with the very limited groceries that are presently on the shelves in grocery stores. If it’s not a four course meal, I will no longer eat it.
  • Turn my Lululemon leggings into face masks because $130 pants are sooooooo 2019 and if you don’t turn your most expensive clothing into face masks you’re not doing it right
  • Tie-dye EVERYTHING… because white and grey clothes were so 2019
  • Start using the term ‘groutfit’ to describe my new choices of outfits… because nice clothes all together were so 2019 and all I’m wearing these days is sweatpants
  • Bake bread, learn to bake sourdough bread (what’s the obsession with sourdough bread, btw?), find the perfect banana bread recipe, or pumpkin bread or apple bread or… what kind of fruits or weird additives can you put into your loaf of bread? I may have celiac disease but dammit I need to learn how to bake bread
  • Read all the books. Every book on your shelf. Every ebook you can get your hands on. Every book that’s ever been published, printed or digitally uploaded.
  • Order anything and everything that I can get my hands on from Amazon. Do I need it? No. Should I buy it? Abso-freaking-lutely. It’s Amazon, it’s convenient. I think that’s what people are saying anyways…
  • Pay RIDICULOUS prices for online workout classes because it’s trendy and I should not be saving my money right now
  • Spend all of my money and ensure that I don’t save a dime. I don’t have things I’m looking forward to. I don’t have things I want down the road, I need to spend it all now because quarantine is foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Anybody else have stress wrinkles coming in hot throughout this quarantine? Just me? PS. If you like or enjoy any of the activities above, please feel free to share some positive stories of these activities. Goodness knows, I could use some more positivity in my life. I may be the most unproductive member of society right now, but I know that doesn’t mean that everyone else is lounging around eating cookies all day.

Unrelated but I’m a little excited today because I came up with a stellar design for a #MillennialLifeCrisis sweatshirt last night and my sister-in-law told me that she’s going to make me a sample with her cricut machine and mail it to me. I hope it turns out alright.