I found a house

I found a house to move into.

I filled out a rental application and I was accepted.

I’m moving.

It’s surreal to say that. I’ve wanted this for what feels like a lifetime. Now that it’s finally happening, part of me is waiting for the shoe to drop. Part of me thinks it’s too good to be true and something has to go wrong.

I’m trying not to jinx it. But, big news… I FOUND A HOUSE! It’s a beautiful house in a really nice neighbourhood. It has air conditioning! (If anyone who’s reading this is from a country where air conditioning is normal, it’s really more of a luxury and a rarity in homes in Canada) It also has a really beautiful kitchen that’ll allow me to reclaim my love of cooking. And, something I’ve never had before in my life, it has a walk in closet. A walk in closet! I’ll have felt like I’ve officially arrived when I have a closet so large that I can change in my closet each day.

Could it be true? Could things be really falling into place? Could I really luck out and get everything I’ve ever seen for my future? My office is in the city, in a skyscraper, on the 20th floor. Now I’ve got a perfect place just outside of downtown and it’s gorgeous and it’s close enough to the office that I won’t get stuck in traffic, but far enough from downtown that rent is fucking amazing.

How did I get this lucky?

For so long now I’ve been really down-and-out, so to speak. I’ve felt as though there’s nothing left for me, there’s nowhere to go and I’d be stuck in mediocrity and hell for the rest of my days. It’s weird to have hope again. This isn’t a familiar feeling to me. Finding a job during a global pandemic? Four leaf clovers… Finding a gorgeous new build home with rent the same as any apartment and older home in the city? Freaking pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it feels like.

Now I just need to pack.

AND PLAN.

For a new life in a new city.

I’m trying to do things right this time… take things slow… savour the victories. Since you can’t get these moments back, I want to remember the feeling I felt when things finally started turning around for me.

I’m beyond excited to move into this home and start making it mine. I’m also looking forward to what comes through this road ahead. I’m hoping it breeds a lot of contentment. Perhaps, if I’m really lucky, a little adventure.

Time to pack my bags…

Life after cancer.

Tonight, I am once again reminded why my mother has the biggest heart of anyone that I know.

Tomorrow is her (fingers crossed) last chemotherapy treatment. She’s been talking about it for weeks. And, though it’s been a pretty freaking miserable process for her the past few months, we were very lucky that her cancer was caught early, and that (fingers crossed) she’ll go into complete remission and we’ll never have to deal with cancer again.

Anyways, I digress.

After spending a few hours at Starbucks tonight, with a friend of mine, I returned home to find that my mother had gone to bed even earlier than usual. An hour earlier than normal. When I asked my dad if she was alright (being worried that she’d gone to bed so early) he said that she was tired from all of the baking she’d done.

What?

Oh yeah. My mom, with the help of my dad, baked lemon pie tarts for the staff of the cancer clinic. She plans to give them to all of the staff tomorrow when she goes in for her last treatment.

Atop the container filled with lemon tarts, she’d taped a note. The envelope says ‘Thank You’. Me, being the nosey daughter that I am, had to open it to read the note.

Here’s how it reads.

Thank You.

Thank you to each and every one of you [she names the staff members, doctors and nurses who’ve helped her the past few months] for helping me, for taking me on my worst day, at my lowest moment and making me feel better. Thank you for wiping away my tears, talking away my fears and for treating me as good, if not better, then you would treat your own family members.

It’s because of the incredible kindness of each of you hat I am here, that I have the opportunity for full recovery, that I get to be one of the lucky ones.

Thank you. It’s because of you that I’ve got a second chance. You’ve given me my life back, and I can’t stop thinking about all of the Christmas and Birthday celebrations that I’ll get to be a part of with my children and grandchildren now, thanks to you. Every moment, every celebration, it will matter that much more than it ever did before.

I am eternally grateful for all that you’ve done for me. And, I really hope that you take this a good way when I say that I hope I never have to visit here ever again.

Sincerely,

[Mom’s name]

I most definitely had an ‘I’m not crying, you’re crying’ moment when I read it. I resealed the envelope and taped it back to the container as to not let her know that anyone touched it.

Tomorrow is her final chemotherapy treatment (if all goes according to plan). I’m feeling grateful, and thankful that she now gets to start thinking about life after cancer. I know not everyone gets that lucky. And, from the note I read, it sounds like she’s already begun planning her life after cancer… which in itself makes me extremely happy.