There are days when I struggle to look at myself in the mirror.
There are days when I don’t believe that I’m worthy of anything I have in this life.
There are days when I just don’t feel capable of basic human function. Everything seems too difficult and too complicated for me to even comprehend.
There are days when I wonder what I did wrong to wind up this… scared, selfish and stupid.
There are days when I question everything.
Oh, there are days.
There are days when everything bothers me. People chewing. Rain falling. Wind gusting. It’s all annoying and there’s nothing I can do but just see it through.
There are days when it’s hard to zip my lips and to stay out of it.
There are days when I want to give up, run away, leave it all behind.
There are days when I am so out of touch with myself that I look back and I think ‘who the fuck was that person?’
Oh there are days.
The most important thing to remember through all of this? That without the bad days we cannot appreciate the good. That the good people in our lives, they’ll be there whether we’re in a good mood or a bad. Whether we’re easy to get along with or we couldn’t be trying harder to push them away.
We need to remember that these bad days remind us that we’re human. That struggle is real and that we shouldn’t diminish the value of it when it comes. Because struggle teaches us. It makes us stronger. It shows us what we’re truly capable.
There are days when it feels a though the world is crashing down around me. But those days, as with all things in life, they too shall pass…
It’s a simple question, one that I think a lot of bloggers overlook. Bloggers want to write something that resonates with others, and quite often could, but they write it in a manner that makes the content only applicable to them, and perhaps a select few with the keen understanding of their personal experiences.
If you really want your words to resonate with others, if you really want to market your blog, ask yourself who is going to search for this content?
People search WordPress and Google to ask questions, to find information that they don’t yet have and to find people, places or organizations they feel most align with them, their life and their views.
So how do you write content you’re passionate about whilst writing it to a potential audience that you’ve not yet met? Turn your ‘me’ or ‘I’ into ‘You’. Pretend that you’re writing a letter to yourself. Actually, if you want to write a letter to yourself, that’s an easy step that you could take to increase your reach and allow more people to find your words.
To explain this, I’ll use my post from yesterday as an example.
My thoughts: I don’t fit in with my family. I don’t agree with them and I struggle to get along with them.
My post: You are not defined by anything that your family says, does or feels.
I wrote a letter to myself, and in the process, changed my content from being something that resonated with me, to something that had the potential to resonate with a much larger audience. The messaging is still the same, I am still explaining exactly how I am feeling at that moment in time, but I’m explaining it in a way that can resonate with more than just I.
I do this because I know that I am not the only person in the world to struggle with getting along with family. I do this because I believe that if someone were to search the subject matter, they’re more likely to search “What if you don’t get along with your family?’ than they are to search ‘I don’t get along with my family.’
I hope this is making sense.
*Important note – I am not saying to change the subject matter of your content. I am saying that you should change the perspective which you write from. Don’t write: I had amazing blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Write: The most amazing blueberry pancakes you could ever eat! You’re still writing about what you’re passionate about, but now you’re writing it in a manner that is more likely for people to search.
There are some people in this world who can write a journal and command attention with simple words. They can write me, me, me, me, me and people will hang off every word that they say. But, for the most part, unless your last name is Kardashian, I think you’ll find a lot more success changing the perspective of your words. Turn your ‘Me’ and your ‘I’ into ‘You’. Doing so allows more people to truly resonate with what you’re sharing and understand the message your’e trying to convey.
In the process of writing a letter to yourself people will read the letter and feel as though you’re writing it to them.. That’s how you learn who feels the same was a you. That’s how you truly connect with people.
Don’t change the subject of your content, just consider changing the way that you write it.
As with all advice given out on this blog, please take everything with a grain of salt. If you like the advice, consider using it. If you don’t, then just ignore it!
Blogging is not a one size fits all activity. What works for someone may not work for someone else.
I provide this information on my blog as a means to inform and to provide a new perspective on things. I speak from experience, but I also understand that what works for some doesn’t work for all. So please do not take these words as the ‘only way’.
I hate when people say “AF”, but I’m choosing to do it anyway. So perhaps I even hate myself a little tonight. We’ll see where the night takes me…
Sometimes I just sit here, at night, in front of this computer and write things to immediately delete them. Then I write more and proceed to delete that. Then I write more, and the vicious circle continues.
Nothing that I say seems good enough, important enough, or worthy enough of my time. So I try to fight those thoughts, but they keep coming up… how nasty thoughts always seem to behave.
Sometimes I feel like Stewart from the Big Bang Theory. Kind of just like… the extra character in everyone else’s life, struggling to figure out my own. Everyone seems like their lives are so together, like they’ve got it all figured out. Me, well on most days I feel like it’s a struggle to stay afloat, nevermind find my way to shore.
I’ve got a ton of things that I should be doing right now, a handful of people I’ve committed to collaborating with and a bed that is calling my name. And me, I’m here avoiding all of it. And probably will for at least the next few hours. Late nights, when it’s quiet, is often the only time of day I can truly feel like myself. As implied with my post from earlier today, I often feel as though I don’t fit in with my family. So, for me, after they all head to sleep for the night, that’s when I feel most myself.
Unrelated but, I miss Knight. Also, I could really use a cookie right now.
It’s amazing how much a year can change a person. I was thinking back about who I was at this time last year, I was so scared to turn 30. Like many, I thought that once you turned 30, things started to go downhill. In reality, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Even with all that’s happened this year, I’ve learned is how much stronger I am then I ever thought I could be. I’ve also learned how much I have. One of the most important things being my voice. For so many years I allowed my voice to be suppressed for ‘the greater good of the business’, and I really think that I lost myself in the process. Now, even with all the things I can think of that I don’t have, I feel more confident about my voice than ever before.
I saw a news story this afternoon about a semi-truck that was headed for London that 39 dead bodies were found in the back of. My heart breaks for the people who passed away in the back of that truck. My heart breaks for the families of the people who passed away in the back of that truck. All too often we can get so wrapped up with our truly blessed and privileged lives that it’s hard to think of such horrible things, like human trafficking, going on in this world. But the truth is, I think it happens a lot more than many of us could even imagine. I have so many questions. Did the truck driver know what was in the back of his truck? That he was driving dead bodies, victims of human trafficking? Or was he just a trucker in the wrong place at the wrong time?
I’ve decided to start a new project in my life and I’m really excited about it. At the encouragement of an incredible man, I am going to follow my dreams. Here’s to hoping that it doesn’t blow up in my face!
Also, I’ve been trying to follow the case of Natalia Barnett, the young Ukrainian girl who was screwed over and abandoned by her adopted parents. (I talked about the story here) Michael Barnett has been all over TV lately (so far as I can see, on at least three continents) peddling lies and trying to sway public opinion in his favour (I can only presume to try and avoid jail time). As of Oct 21, State Prosecutors in Indiana have filed an injunction to put a gag-order on the couple that would stop them from slandering their adopted daughter in the news, or in public in any way shape or form (story here). Which, hallelujah, I really hope it goes through. These people don’t deserve to lie on TV and to the media like they’ve been doing. It will mean the public no longer gets to hear anything of the story, but, for the protection of Natalia Grace, I can let my curiosity with the story go.
I’ve been working on a title page for a project about 4 hours now and the intricacies of it are one of the reasons why I despise graphic design. I’m just someone who taught myself how to use these design programs out of boredom. I am by no means a graphic designer, just someone who can do a not-half-bad job. To actual graphic designers, I have the utmost appreciation for what you do. This stuff takes so much time. So very much time!!!
Okay, I should get back to work right now. This has been the most unproductive thing I’ve done all day…
You are not defined by anything that your family says, does or feels. You are your own person and are entitled to your own thoughts, actions and feelings. Being related to someone, by blood or not, does not mean that you are forced to be like them, or forced to be one of them.
I think it’s extremely important to note that you can both love and be thankful for your family while still not wanting to be like them. Contrary to popular notion, this does not make you a bad person. This makes you your own person. An individual. And shouldn’t this be everyone’s goal?
So, for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to convey a distinct message with a story that I wanted to share but always felt that I couldn’t quite find the right words. Something wonderful happened, yesterday, that has lead me to believe I need to share this story regardless of whether I get the messaging correct.
I’m not sure how many people heard of this story or not, I know it was big in a lot of circles, but I still think many people missed out on the goodess.
In late September the Fire Department in Slave Lake, Alberta, Canada was hosting a PTSD Seminar for Firefighters and decided to order pizza for dinner for everyone.
Local Fire Chief, Alex Pavcek, asked one of his team to call ‘Alimo’s Pizza’ in Slave Lake to order pizza for the crew, gave him his credit card to pay for it and told him to tell ‘Alimo’s Pizza’ they’d drive down and pick up the pizzas when they were ready.
Not knowing the phone number for ‘Alimo’s Pizza’ the firefighter placing the order went to google to find it. And with an easy mix-up, he used google to find the phone number for ‘Alamo’s Pizza’. He phoned and placed an order with ‘Alamo’s Pizza’ (in San Antionio, Texas) not realizing that he’d called Texas and not realizing that he’d misspelled the restaurant’s name by one letter.
An hour and a half later ‘Alamo’s Pizza’ in San Antonio called them to let them know their pizza’s would be ready for pickup in ten minutes. A different firefighter answered the phone and when he saw the number on call display, he realized something wasn’t right. They googled the area code and thought ‘Why was Alimo’s calling from a San Antonio number?’. Then they realized they’d made a huge mistake.
The Slave Lake Fire Department had called ‘Alamo’s Pizza’ in San Antonio, Texas rather than ‘Alimo’s Pizza’ in Slave Lake, Alberta. They’d paid for 18 pizzas and ‘Alamo’s Pizza’ in San Antonio had spent the past hour and a half making all of these pizza’s.
The Slave Lake Fire Chief, Alex Pavcek, called up Alamo’s Pizza in San Antonio to let them know about this hilarious, huge mistake that was made and that they wouldn’t be down to pick up these pizzas. The Alamo’s Pizza Manager in San Antonio, laughing over the mistake offered to refund their purchase but Pavcek wouldn’t have it. 18 pizzas was a large order and a lot of money for that restaurant and he didn’t want that food to go to waste.
So, instead, Pavcek suggested that Alamo’s take the pizza and deliver it to local fire departments in his area. The owner of Alamo’s obliged and the pizzas were dlievered to firefighters in local fire departments in San Antonio, Texas, telling them they were a gift from the firefighters in Slave Lake, Alberta and to ‘pizza it forward’ if they ever get the opportunity.
The act of kindness sparked an international campaign of paying it forward where Fire Departments, Police Depatments, Hospitals and other locations across Canada and the USA were being randomly delivered pizza for their first-responders and given the message #PizzaItForward.
It was a really heartwarming story to follow on Twitter and Instagram. If you search the hashtag you can still find photos and stories of police officers and nurses, doctors and firefighters being handed large quantities of pizza, ‘just because’.
I share this story because, for weeks now, I’ve been wanting to promote the notion that paying it forward is one of the best things that we can do for fellow human kind. ESPECIALLY, with the holidays coming up. American Thanksgiving is next month and Christmas and Hanukkah will be here before we know it. Random acts of kindness are wonderful things to do all year, but I find them especially important during the holidays! Holidays can be really difficult times for a lot of families, whether they can’t afford things or have lost loved ones or are just struggling with mental health issues. There are plenty of different things that can make holidays really hard.
I’ve been wanting to encourage every person who reads my blog to go out and ‘Pay It Forward’ to a stranger, to a friend, to a family member… just to someone who will appreciate it. Then, yesterday as I was counting ballots for the Election, an extremely thoughtful, kind individual (Katherine) who reads this blog did something extremely, extremely kind for me with a simple note that said ‘Pay It Forward’. It was so kind I actually started to cry when I saw it. I thought of how good it felt and how happy it made me, and I thought, yeah, I have to pass this on.
To the firefighters of Slave Lake, all of the people who took part in the #PizzaItForward campaign, and to Katherine, thank you. Thank you for your random acts of kindness, thank you for spreading so much good in the world.
I have plans to take Katherine’s kindness and pay it forward, though I doubt my abilities to make someone as happy as she made me, I’m definitely going to try. And, since I’m here and telling you these stories, I’d like to encourage anyone who reads this to do commit their own random act of kindness. To do something nice for someone you know, or someone you don’t, and tell them to pay it forward. Ahead of this holiday season, the world could definitely use a lot more kindness in it. And it might as well start with you and I… right here and now.
Please, please, please, I beg of you, go out and vote. Don’t spoil your vote. Don’t throw your vote away. Don’t refuse to vote. Just go and vote.
People all over the world are wishing they could do the very thing we have the privilege and right to do today. People in our own country are wishing to do what we have the right and privilege to today. So please, don’t waste your chance.
Things just feel off today. Way off. I can’t put my finger on what it is. It’s just… wrong. I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t want to do anything. I’m having a hard time talking to people. I’m just struggling. I don’t know what’s causing it today above any other day.
I’ve been hiding in my bedroom for the past four hours and I really don’t know that I can or want to leave it today. I just don’t know how to get past this right now.