Letter to a struggling soul

Dear Self,

The struggle is real.

It really doesn’t matter what others might say or think about what you’re going through, what matters is what you say and think. And truth be told, they’re not you so expecting them to understand what is happening is, in itself, a bit of a lost cause.

Remember that age old wisdom that says ‘Don’t fix a temporary problem with rash decisions’? Listen to that. You know it’s right. You know that quick thinking, or perhaps even no thinking, isn’t going to fix this for you.

The universe is testing you. And let me tell you IT SUCKS. I know it sucks. Every second of it. But, how you react, here and now, to what is happening, this will have a ripple effect throughout the rest of your life. Act wisely. Accept help where you can, give help where you can and keep going, always.

The hardest part of being in this time and place is that you don’t know when this test will end, when things will fix themselves, when things will be normal. Will they ever be normal? There’s no crystal ball to tell you for certain, all you can use for a guide is hard work and hope. Hope for a better world for you and everyone else who lives in it.

When you really stop to think about it, it’s important to be thankful for the things that you do have. You’re not starving. You’re not on the street somewhere, struggling to stay warm. You have a lot of blessings in your life that are very easy to overlook if you allow yourself to. So just remember, as bad as it might seem, you are one of the lucky ones. Because you are.

Remember how far you’ve come. Remember that this is all for a purpose. And, when it’s over, remember that you’re going to be stronger because of it. Scratch that, you already are stronger because of it. Silver linings, self, you need to remember them more often. Struggle teaches us just how strong we are. Struggle teaches us just how far we can bend without breaking. And last time I checked you were still standing, in one piece and all.

Hold on, self. I promise you better is coming. I don’t have a crystal ball, but I can feel it. Better is coming. I need you to believe that. This struggle won’t last forever. It can’t. You’re stronger than it.

Sincerely,
Me

Adventures in job hunting: Greg and Craig were impressed.

This is in follow up to: Adventures in job hunting: a hopeful phone interview.

I had a half hour Skype Interview today and it went really well. Really, really well. You know I hate getting my hopes up, but my hopes are up.

They told me that I’m one of the final three candidates. They told me that they were impressed with my credentials. They told me that I seem as though I’d fit in great in their office. I told them that I absolutely would and that, in my completely biased opinion, they shouldn’t interview the other two and they should just hire me. Then they laughed. Ahhhhh, it was a ‘you had to be there’ kind of moment. Anyways.

They also said that my present location does not bother them and they want to invest in the right employee, whether they come from BC or half way around the world. They said when they hire employees they think long-term and they want someone who’s going to help their company grow, and that if that person comes from Alberta, BC or half-way around the world, they’re going to select who they think will help them in their company growth long term.

I try to not get my hopes up. But my hopes are up.

I really need this.

Everybody's got an opinion

If your opinion doesn’t align with mine, that is completely okay. There’s no need to fight, there’s no need to be rude, there’s no need for name calling. We can agree to disagree. Plenty of people disagree with me for plenty of different reasons and I still have a great deal of respect for all of them. I cannot and will not respect you, however, if your inclination is to start ‘throwing stones’ so to speak, solely because we disagree.

My standing up for myself is not my fighting with you, it’s my standing up for myself. Period. I’m not attacking you, I’m simply stating my opinions. You had your chance, why shouldn’t I have my chance? There’s no callous nature behind it, I am simply trying to share my side.

I want to get to a place in society where we can agree to disagree and still be kind to, and show respect to one another.

I miss you.

“Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.”

Hafiz

I bet you’ve really never thought anything of it… but there is a reason why I call you my sunshine. That nickname didn’t fall upon you by accident, it was curated for you and you only. The light of the entire sky. The reason for waking each morning. The warmth of even the coldest of days days. The golden hours more beautiful than the most coveted of possessions. The brightest star in the universe. My life, my love, my one and only sunshine… look what happens with a love like that. The whole universe is brighter because of you.

The perk of being anonymous.

I get asked A LOT as to why there’s no face to my blog. Would you believe me if I said that I’m shy? Because I am. But, more importantly than that, I choose to be anonymous because it allows my blog to be about me, not about what I look like.

Why am I anonymous? Because I want to be.

It’s 2020 and, as much as the world has evolved, there’s still a long way to go when it comes to judgmental folk.. People place a lot of value on the way that you look. Yes, you. You, me, the man across the street. We all get judged based on our appearance. So, the thing about nobody knowing what I look like gives to me is an ability to know that I’m being judged for who I am, not what I look like.

It’s freeing.

If someone likes me, they like me for my outlook, personality and how I treat others, not because of what I look like. And, if someone doesn’t like me, they don’t like me because they don’t like my outlook, personality or how I treat others, not because of what I look like.

I can’t stress enough what a cool feeling that is.

As someone who’s spent the majority of her life being judged for her appearance, it’s a nice feeling to get judged for who I am, not what I look like.

Honestly, you can imagine me whatever way that you want to. Whether you think I am the 31 year old female I’ve told you that I am, or you think that I’m a 65 year old man who hoards butter-finger wrappers in a fish bowl (shout out to anyone who watches ‘2 Broke Girls’), that’s okay. The perk to being anonymous is that I can be whoever you want me to be, whoever you envision me to be and it just doesn’t matter.

I like being anonymous. I am shy. I am an introvert. Pouring my heart out to the internet gives me solace in a world where those that know me don’t really know much more than what’s on the outside.

Being anonymous has allowed me to feel the most like myself.

Adventures in job hunting: a hopeful phone interview.

I had a surprise phone interview this afternoon for a job that I applied for more than two months ago. I believe the interviewer actually liked me quite a lot. He said that he was calling to take five minutes of my time and actually ended up asking me questions for a half hour.

He mentioned that the company has no issues with hiring someone from out of province if they’re willing to make the commitment to move.

Halle-freaking-luja.

Crossing my fingers and my toes.