Don’t wait for the new year for resolutions. Things for you to quit TODAY

  1. Trying to please everyone.
  2. Fearing change.
  3. Living in the past.
  4. Overthinking.
  5. Being afraid to be different from everyone else.
  6. Sacrificing your happiness for others.
  7. Thinking you’re not good enough.
  8. Thinking you have no purpose.

People always wait for New Year’s Day to make resolutions and honestly, why? Make these resolutions today. Make change today. Better yourself today. You deserve it. You’re worth it. Don’t wait for some arbitrary day to try and change you thinking – start to try and change the way you think today.

It’s not going to be easy. And it’s not going to happen at the snap of your fingers. But if you make the effort to enrich your life with serious changes that will ultimately benefit you long-term, the change will be worth it.

Do it. Do it today.

A tale of two millennials

How much of who we are is a reflection of circumstance versus a reflection of our own freedom of thought, expression and power of will? Could two millennials from two very different walks of life be very much the same?

Josh is a 35 year old male who grew up at the helm of one of the most Conservative states of all of the USA. I am a 30 year old female who grew up in one of the most progressive cities in the world. Josh enrolled in the Marines after high school. I enrolled in University after high school. Josh is married with a children. I have yet to marry and start a family. Josh works for the police. I am unemployed. It’s true, on first appearance, we’re very different people.

We’re very different on paper, that’s for sure. But we’re also very similar in a lot of ways. We’re both very much aligned in our desires for equality, how to treat people and how we wish to be treated. We both studied the same subject in school and understand the importance of good communication in all aspects of life. We both have sincere appreciation for travel, for culture, for people being able to be their authentic and true selves. In a lot of was, we’re two peas in a pod.

What do you think? Are we a product of circumstance, or is there something more to who we grow up to become? Josh and I are sharing some discussions had, some questions answered and some lessons learned. Half of this will be displayed here, on #MillennialLifeCrisis, whilst the other half can be found on Josh’s blog. So, without further ado, these millennials come to you with its noisiest authorities insisting on it being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.


Where did you see yourself by the time you were 30 and where were you actually by the time you were 30?

Josh: I set a lot of goals for myself before I was 30, but many of them were experience orientated.  I wanted to have traveled the world, seen a lot of different cultures, served in the military and maybe… had kids and got married.  I didn’t really think a lot about the marriage card until my mid-twenties.   

I ended up achieving most of them.  I served in the U.S. military as a marine. I had a very successful military career and I traveled. I think I hit 15 countries and 4 continents by 24.  I did a lot of traveling outside the military, so I got to experience a lot of cultures. I stayed with families in Cambodia and South Africa.  I got lost a couple times in Europe and South America.  It’s nice accomplishing goals, but it doesn’t always bring happiness.  I wish I had worked more on myself and well-being in those years.  I have a lot of regrets during that time, drank a lot and slept with a lot of women. I didn’t have a lot of meaningful relationships, but meaningless ones, if that makes sense

Vee: I set a great deal of expectations for myself for where I would be when I was 30. I wanted to work in management, I wanted to be changing the face of how people thought about and felt about sports. I wanted to have travelled the world, have mastered my skill-sets and have really enriched the lives of my nieces and nephews. I wanted to be the woman who had it all.

Right now, at 30, I am unemployed, still working on changing the way people feel about sports… but I think that will always be a work in process.

If you could go back in time and tell your 19 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be?

Josh: I could probably write a novel for my 19-year-old self, but one single piece of advice… that’s tough. I probably would tell myself to immediately pursue education and continue doing it until I couldn’t anymore and not give up when moments get hard. I’d also tell myself to not be scared of girls and be respectful to them.

Vee: Oh goodness, it’s really hard to pick just one. I think I’ll have to settle with ‘Dump that asshole and do it right now!’

Did you feel pressure to complete school within a time period and find steady work, immediately after college or high school? 

Josh: Yes and no, I felt like when I graduated High School it was kind of the thing to do.  If you didn’t go to college I felt like society looked down on you and I felt shame for not wanting to pursue education.  I feel like a lot of motivation is brought about by shame, its good to avoid doing things because you feel shame for not doing them.  

But, I did start working pretty quick. I had a bunch of crappy jobs and then I got a good one. And, then in the middle of the Iraq stuff I joined the military. It was something I’d always wanted to do and it changed my life.  I don’t know if I’d say it was good, but its effect was really massive.  I felt like I gave the best years of my life to the marines and I know I can’t get those back.  

Vee: I went to University right after high school because I received a scholarship. To me, it just seemed like a no-brainer… get the degree now, do the fun stuff later. After I graduated from University I packed up all of my things and went on a road trip for several months. It was incredible. Then, when I returned from my trip, a job just sort of fell into place… almost as though the universe had a plan for me.

Do you feel like if or when, you’ll have to be involved in their lives to a certain extent, pta, sports? 

Josh: I hate the expectations that go with kids.  I feel like as a parent you’re supposed to be at all the school events, join the PTA, play youth baseball and dance.  It’s really hard finding time for everything and I don’t want my kids to miss out, but I’d rather spend the time one on one with them rather than watching them dance.  I’ve learned I can’t do it all.

Vee: If I ever do have children I hope that I am involved in their lives. I don’t think I’d ever have kids just to pawn them off on their dad, or my family members. If I have kids, I want to be my own version of Lorelei Gilmore.

Do you feel like there is a salary or amount of money you’ve expected to be making?

Josh: Yes and no.  I used to think I should make at least as much as my parents, but now, years later I don’t care.  My family was pretty middle class.  My Dad worked on the assembly line making cars at Ford and my mom was an Interior Designer.  I don’t know why I felt this way, it really doesn’t bother me anymore.  I want to give my kids a good life, but I feel like I can do that with less money or more, it’s just about how I spend and save it.

Vee: I have never had a fixed salary in my mind that I desired. I simply wanted to be able to support myself. I’m a very simple person in nature, so it doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. I feel like so long as I can make enough to make myself happy and keep myself housed and fed and healthy, then I’ll have done well.

Do you feel shame or any unfair expectations? 

Josh: This is a tough question.  I think the world is full of shame and unfair expectations.  For me, I freak out about money.  It’s a big trigger for me.  I want to be able to feed my family, keep a roof over their heads and provide. I also want to take care of them emotionally and developmentally.  I want to support their dreams and leisure pursuits.  I know it’s all pretty deep, but when those expectations get derailed, I stress out and have to center myself.  When I was single I could have cared less about a lot of this stuff.  

I feel like I’m also comparing myself to my peers from High School and College.  And it’s not fair because everyone is different.  Every person has unique expectations put on them and self-inflicted.  I think it’s incredibly helpful to get past the shame and understand our triggers. 

Vee: I feel as though there are most definitely unfair expectations placed on all females in this world. You see it in the media every day – in the laws that are being created, or rewritten to give women less choice and in the lack of representation of females around virtually every executive table and so very many industries.

Furthermore, I feel there are unfair expectations put on millennials. Gen X wants us to follow in their footsteps, and if we don’t they get angry. Baby Boomers don’t understand that we have different values then they did when they were young. I don’t think they want to understand. Both generations see us as entitled, neither generation really tries to understand.


Want to read more about how Josh and I are both extremely similar and extremely different people at the same time? Check out the other half of our interview questions on Josh’s Blog. Visit Creative Words of Life >

I DESIGNED SHIRTS!

I DESIGNED SHIRTS! And these shirts are for sale! This is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while, so I’m very excited and very nervous to share them with you. All shirts can be fond on my TeeSpring Store here >

Back in March of this year I had shirts printed with my #MillennialLifeCrisis logo on them. I love them. I’m biased, I know that, but I love them to bits. To this day, they’re two of my favourite shirts. So, I created more.

Please be advised: All shirts are printed, produced and shipped from TeeSpring in the United States. Shipping fees are determined by Teespring based on where you live.

If you would like to purchase one of these shirts, note that I will make a profit of roughly ten dollars per shirt sold. If you would like to own one of these shirts and want to support me/my blog, thank you so very much! And if you do not make a purchase, that is totally okay too! Thank you for reading and for your consistent support.

The #MillennialLifeCrisis TeeSpring store >


The #MillennialLifeCrisis logo shirt

The #MillennialLifeCrisis logo was the first thing I ever created when I made this blog. It has become somewhat of an… identity to both my blog, but also, this crazy stage of life, one that I know all too many people feel!

Available in t-shirt ($20), long sleeve ($25) and crew-neck ($30). Each of these prices is in American dollars. I believe that if you visit the site from elsewhere in the world, Teespring will convert the price to what it costs in your currency. Example: The t-shirt is $20 American, when I view the store front it shows it as being $26.13 Canadian.

Colours available include: black, grey light pink, light blue. Shirts are unisex sizes. Sizes available are dependent on the shirt you order.

The Millennial Life Crisis t-shirt

Buy it for yourself, or for your favourite Millennial. This design is available in t-shirt ($20) only. This price is in American dollars. I believe that if you view the website from elsewhere in the world, it will convert the price to your local currency.

Colours available include: white, grey, light pink, light blue. Shirts are unisex sizes. Sizes available are dependent on the shirt you order.

The AUTHENTIC MLC Shirt

Authenticity is a message that I often preach on my blog and something that I find great importance in. I wanted to create a shirt that made a statement. And, I truly believe this shirt does. The front of the shirt reads “Authentic” in large print with “MLC” underneath. MLC measures less than 1’x1′ in size. Its big enough to be there but small enough to not take away from the message.

Available in t-shirt ($20), long sleeve ($25) and crew-neck ($30). Each of these prices is in American dollars. If you visit the site from elsewhere in the world, Teespring will convert the price to what it costs in your currency. Example: The t-shirt is $20 American, when I view the store front it shows it as being $26.13 Canadian.

Colours available include: white, grey, light pink, light blue. Shirts are unisex sizes. Sizes available are dependent on the shirt you order.


All shirts will be available until November 10, 2019. If you would like to purchase one to rock the #MillennialLifeCrisis brand and support this blog, thank you! I am immensely thankful for your purchase.

Visit the #MillennialLifeCrisis TeeSpring Store >

If you do not want to purchase, that’s totally okay too. Thank you for your consistent reading and support of this blog and everything that I share. Your support has meant the world to me in 2019 and is a big part of what has gotten me through. So thank you so very much for all that you’ve given me!

And if you like what you see, please feel free to share with your friends, family and so on. I’d be interested to see the reach that this project of mine could possibly get.

Thanks so much ❤

Vee

The troubles with Sunday Riley

Let this serve as an important reminder that we cannot always trust the reviews we read for products online. Take everything, and anything, said with a grain of salt and make the decision that’s best for you with respect to spending your money online.

Skincare brand ‘Sunday Riley’ has reached a settlement with the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) of which the amount is not being publicly shared, for two violations made. Employees noted that they were instructed, for more than two years, to write fake positive reviews on Sunday Riley products and to dislike the negative reviews.

Why this is a big issue?

Sephora is a premier skincare and makeup retailer in North America and one of the biggest, if not the biggest seller of Sunday Riley on this continent. The Sephora website allows for people to search for products by ‘Highest Rated’ and ‘Relevancy’, relevancy of which being determined by how many times that product has been searched for.

If Sunday Riley has been driving up the relevancy and the ratings of their products on the Sephora website, to ensure their products stay at the top of lists for people searching, they are, in effect, falsely marketing their products to consumers and also, lying about the effectiveness of their products.

Employees noted being instructed by the CEO to not just leave a review talking about how great the product is, but to leave specific comments such as “This product completely cleared up my acne!” A completely unsubstantiated claim that misleads customers to a product’s effectiveness and also, undermines the entire product review section as a whole.

Product reviews are used for online shopping on a global scale. Why? Because if we’re not going to be able to see, feel and test a product prior to purchasing, the review section can allow us to get some sort of an idea that we’re purchasing quality. Reviews contribute greatly to how people spend their money online. Sunday Riley knew this and that is why they falsely propagated myths about their brand as a means to stay one of the ‘hot commodities’ on Sephora’s online ‘shelf’.

Reviews, are in a sense, marketing. They can either help or hinder the sale of a product or brand online. Sunday Riley’s actions really hurt all beauty/skincare brands in the process, and potentially a lot other industries as well. Their ‘slap on the wrist’ undisclosed fine from the FTC and being ‘told to not write any more reviews’ will cause a lot of people to seriously reconsider how they shop on Sephora’s website and elsewhere, if they’re a frequent Sephora shopper or not.

Note: I have purchased Sunday Riley products in the past. I just never really found them to be that effective. Sunday Riley products can cost anywhere from $30 Canadian (for a travel size) to more than $200 per bottle for one single treatment.

P.P.S. – I’d bet good money that ‘Influencer Marketing’ for this brand goes WAAAAAAAAAAAAY up in the coming months as they try to bounce back from this negative press. Every ‘Influencer’ is going to be talking this brand up the whazoo, and they’ll probably be paid thousands of dollars each to do so…

Sources:

Fast Company >

Global News >

There are days…

There are days when I struggle to look at myself in the mirror.

There are days when I don’t believe that I’m worthy of anything I have in this life.

There are days when I just don’t feel capable of basic human function. Everything seems too difficult and too complicated for me to even comprehend.

There are days when I wonder what I did wrong to wind up this… scared, selfish and stupid.

There are days when I question everything.

Oh, there are days.

There are days when everything bothers me. People chewing. Rain falling. Wind gusting. It’s all annoying and there’s nothing I can do but just see it through.

There are days when it’s hard to zip my lips and to stay out of it.

There are days when I want to give up, run away, leave it all behind.

There are days when I am so out of touch with myself that I look back and I think ‘who the fuck was that person?’

Oh there are days.

The most important thing to remember through all of this? That without the bad days we cannot appreciate the good. That the good people in our lives, they’ll be there whether we’re in a good mood or a bad. Whether we’re easy to get along with or we couldn’t be trying harder to push them away.

We need to remember that these bad days remind us that we’re human. That struggle is real and that we shouldn’t diminish the value of it when it comes. Because struggle teaches us. It makes us stronger. It shows us what we’re truly capable.

There are days when it feels a though the world is crashing down around me. But those days, as with all things in life, they too shall pass…

Blogging 104: Turn you ‘Me’ and ‘I’ into ‘You’.

Photo credit: Medium.com

Who is going to search for this?

It’s a simple question, one that I think a lot of bloggers overlook. Bloggers want to write something that resonates with others, and quite often could, but they write it in a manner that makes the content only applicable to them, and perhaps a select few with the keen understanding of their personal experiences.

If you really want your words to resonate with others, if you really want to market your blog, ask yourself who is going to search for this content?

People search WordPress and Google to ask questions, to find information that they don’t yet have and to find people, places or organizations they feel most align with them, their life and their views.

So how do you write content you’re passionate about whilst writing it to a potential audience that you’ve not yet met? Turn your ‘me’ or ‘I’ into ‘You’. Pretend that you’re writing a letter to yourself. Actually, if you want to write a letter to yourself, that’s an easy step that you could take to increase your reach and allow more people to find your words.

To explain this, I’ll use my post from yesterday as an example.

My thoughts: I don’t fit in with my family. I don’t agree with them and I struggle to get along with them.

My post: You are not defined by anything that your family says, does or feels.

I wrote a letter to myself, and in the process, changed my content from being something that resonated with me, to something that had the potential to resonate with a much larger audience. The messaging is still the same, I am still explaining exactly how I am feeling at that moment in time, but I’m explaining it in a way that can resonate with more than just I.

I do this because I know that I am not the only person in the world to struggle with getting along with family. I do this because I believe that if someone were to search the subject matter, they’re more likely to search “What if you don’t get along with your family?’ than they are to search ‘I don’t get along with my family.’

I hope this is making sense.

*Important note – I am not saying to change the subject matter of your content. I am saying that you should change the perspective which you write from. Don’t write: I had amazing blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Write: The most amazing blueberry pancakes you could ever eat! You’re still writing about what you’re passionate about, but now you’re writing it in a manner that is more likely for people to search.

There are some people in this world who can write a journal and command attention with simple words. They can write me, me, me, me, me and people will hang off every word that they say. But, for the most part, unless your last name is Kardashian, I think you’ll find a lot more success changing the perspective of your words. Turn your ‘Me’ and your ‘I’ into ‘You’. Doing so allows more people to truly resonate with what you’re sharing and understand the message your’e trying to convey.

In the process of writing a letter to yourself people will read the letter and feel as though you’re writing it to them.. That’s how you learn who feels the same was a you. That’s how you truly connect with people.

Don’t change the subject of your content, just consider changing the way that you write it.


As with all advice given out on this blog, please take everything with a grain of salt. If you like the advice, consider using it. If you don’t, then just ignore it!

Blogging is not a one size fits all activity. What works for someone may not work for someone else.

I provide this information on my blog as a means to inform and to provide a new perspective on things. I speak from experience, but I also understand that what works for some doesn’t work for all. So please do not take these words as the ‘only way’.

Sporadic AF thoughts.

I hate when people say “AF”, but I’m choosing to do it anyway. So perhaps I even hate myself a little tonight. We’ll see where the night takes me…

Sometimes I just sit here, at night, in front of this computer and write things to immediately delete them. Then I write more and proceed to delete that. Then I write more, and the vicious circle continues.

Nothing that I say seems good enough, important enough, or worthy enough of my time. So I try to fight those thoughts, but they keep coming up… how nasty thoughts always seem to behave.

Sometimes I feel like Stewart from the Big Bang Theory. Kind of just like… the extra character in everyone else’s life, struggling to figure out my own. Everyone seems like their lives are so together, like they’ve got it all figured out. Me, well on most days I feel like it’s a struggle to stay afloat, nevermind find my way to shore.

I’ve got a ton of things that I should be doing right now, a handful of people I’ve committed to collaborating with and a bed that is calling my name. And me, I’m here avoiding all of it. And probably will for at least the next few hours. Late nights, when it’s quiet, is often the only time of day I can truly feel like myself. As implied with my post from earlier today, I often feel as though I don’t fit in with my family. So, for me, after they all head to sleep for the night, that’s when I feel most myself.

Unrelated but, I miss Knight. Also, I could really use a cookie right now.

It’s amazing how much a year can change a person. I was thinking back about who I was at this time last year, I was so scared to turn 30. Like many, I thought that once you turned 30, things started to go downhill. In reality, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Even with all that’s happened this year, I’ve learned is how much stronger I am then I ever thought I could be. I’ve also learned how much I have. One of the most important things being my voice. For so many years I allowed my voice to be suppressed for ‘the greater good of the business’, and I really think that I lost myself in the process. Now, even with all the things I can think of that I don’t have, I feel more confident about my voice than ever before.

I saw a news story this afternoon about a semi-truck that was headed for London that 39 dead bodies were found in the back of. My heart breaks for the people who passed away in the back of that truck. My heart breaks for the families of the people who passed away in the back of that truck. All too often we can get so wrapped up with our truly blessed and privileged lives that it’s hard to think of such horrible things, like human trafficking, going on in this world. But the truth is, I think it happens a lot more than many of us could even imagine. I have so many questions. Did the truck driver know what was in the back of his truck? That he was driving dead bodies, victims of human trafficking? Or was he just a trucker in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I’ve decided to start a new project in my life and I’m really excited about it. At the encouragement of an incredible man, I am going to follow my dreams. Here’s to hoping that it doesn’t blow up in my face!

Also, I’ve been trying to follow the case of Natalia Barnett, the young Ukrainian girl who was screwed over and abandoned by her adopted parents. (I talked about the story here) Michael Barnett has been all over TV lately (so far as I can see, on at least three continents) peddling lies and trying to sway public opinion in his favour (I can only presume to try and avoid jail time). As of Oct 21, State Prosecutors in Indiana have filed an injunction to put a gag-order on the couple that would stop them from slandering their adopted daughter in the news, or in public in any way shape or form (story here). Which, hallelujah, I really hope it goes through. These people don’t deserve to lie on TV and to the media like they’ve been doing. It will mean the public no longer gets to hear anything of the story, but, for the protection of Natalia Grace, I can let my curiosity with the story go.

I’ve been working on a title page for a project about 4 hours now and the intricacies of it are one of the reasons why I despise graphic design. I’m just someone who taught myself how to use these design programs out of boredom. I am by no means a graphic designer, just someone who can do a not-half-bad job. To actual graphic designers, I have the utmost appreciation for what you do. This stuff takes so much time. So very much time!!!

Okay, I should get back to work right now. This has been the most unproductive thing I’ve done all day…