Guest Post: How being a loner can be one of your most useful and powerful assets

The following is a guest post written by V from the blog StormyNook. V’s first language is Italian, and he likes to share motivational and thoughtful content to help everyone be the very best version of themselves.


If you fall in this category and you think that being a loner it’s sad, or brings you misfortune…

Think again. You’ve probably been misusing or neglecting your “superpowers” while falling prey to your self-loathing.

Useless! You should instead exploit your UNFAIR perks.

What are they, you ask?
Let me give you some of them:

1) YOUR ABILITY TO WITHSTAND LONELINESS.

WAIT.
Before you enter “forever alone” mode, hear me out. I don’t mean it in a bad way.

Because by being able to do so, on paper-you don’t have the urge to have social interactions, when compared to more outgoing individuals.

Who actually need to be around people to feel great-and might experience & feel loneliness more than you.

Instead, you’re fine both ways!

2) YOU HAVE MORE TIME THAN ANYONE.

And this, I consider a cheat code for life, IF you can exploit it.

Think about this.
If you avoid unnecessary social interactions (Spending nights out drunk, meaningless hanging around, useless partying that leaves you in pieces in the morning, ecc..)

You have the ability to use that otherwise wasted time, so you can focus on:

  • The things you LOVE
  • Your projects\business
  • Improving yourself
  • Learning stuff
  • Becoming a better human, overall

More time on your hands = More relaxation = More time to get ahead of people, HAH!

Isn’t it amazing?

3) YOU CAN CUT OFF MEANINGLESS RELATIONSHIPS MORE EASILY.

Now this might sound cold-hearted and very “inhuman” even, but…

There are some kind of relationships you’re better off without.
I’m talking about the toxic ones.

The ones that hold you back,
That damage you,
That are not giving as much as you,
That you don’t really enjoy.

And while you shouldn’t cut off people randomly from your life (because that IS IMMATURE and shows that you can’t handle cultivating a relationship)

There are times when doing this it’s much needed.

And, being a loner- this might not have the same emotional impact on you-because you’re used to being on your own.

Giving you the ability to be more detached, logic-driven & able to walk away from something that is not for you.


Thank you to V for his contribution to #MillennialLifeCrisis. His blog is StormyNooK. Click here to visit StormyNook > and, while you’re there, drop him a nice note. Being as he’s in Italy right now, he’s under Corona Quarantine and could use some sunshine in his life.

OH H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

I dubbed this the theme song of 2020

Today was hard.

Today was a vinegar and baking soda kind of day. And that’s okay. They can’t all be good. Sometimes you have to experience the bad so that you appreciate the good days that much more when they finally do arrive.

It is 8:00 pm and I’ve gotten nothing accomplished in this day. Well, not unless I count beating myself up as an accomplishment. Which… I’m not.

To address a couple of emails I received after I published my post last night, I just wanted to say that it is illegal and extremely inappropriate for a job interviewer to ask a candidate when she plans on having children and/or how many children she plans on having. One’s family status should play no bearing in whether or not they’re qualified to do a job and thus should not play into any hiring decisions.

In a society that has long undervalued women and treated them as less-than in the workforce, there is no good way for a woman to answer that question when asked. Think about it. If I answered the question, they’d presume I’d be having children in the near future and that could count as a strike against me in the hiring process. And they’d never have to admit that it counted as a strike against me. If I called them out on it, told them it was none of their business and that it was illegal to ask me that, I could come across and stand-offish with unruly behaviour, which could also count as a strike against me. And again, they’d never have to admit that publicly because they know that the average woman isn’t going to go and take them to court over not being hired.

Essentially, it’s backing a woman into a corner with no way out. And how is that fair?

When a man becomes a father, he’s almost treated as though he’s more valuable to a company at that point. He’s the man of the house, he needs to provide for a child now so the company ‘can know’ that he’s going to be a hard-working employee. When a woman becomes a mother, it’s still often treated as career suicide. God forbid they have nine months of doctor’s appointments to look after the health of their unborn child so they’ll be in and out during weird hours for the foreseeable future. And, living in a country that offers one full year of maternity or paternity leave, most employers see it as paying out an employee to sit on their butt. You can argue with me on that sentiment, but it does happen… a lot. I promise you that if you sit down and chat with a group of women about it, you’ll be surprised as to how often it happens.

No one looks at a man and thinks ‘He’s going to ask for paternity leave so I better ask him when he wants to have children’. So, why do women get asked?

Anyways, I realize that people are going to either agree or vehemently disagree on this and that’s totally okay. I’m speaking from experience, and from what I’ve heard from my friends, family members and coworkers over the years.

Anyone has the power and possibility to do anything that they set their mind to.

Yes, read that again. Because it’s true.

At 12 years old I was listening to a presentation from (now former) NBA player Steve Nash. Nash said ‘Raise your hands if you want to be Prime Minister of Canada one day’. Only a couple of kids in the room raised their hands. Nash then said ‘Raise your hand if you think you’re going to be Prime Minister of Canada one day’. Only one girl, a girl named Rachel, kept her hand up. Nash then said ‘Rachel is the only person in this room who will be Prime Minister one day’. A few of the boys in this room took aim at this statement and responded with ‘No she can’t because she’s a girl’.

The two things Steve Nash said next have stayed with me ever since.

Firstly, he looked at those boys who took aim with the idea of a female Prime Minister and said ‘My hope for you is that as you move into your teenage and adult years you adopt a way of thinking that measures a person’s value on who they are, not what they are. A person’s gender matters not to whether or not they are capable of a job, any job, and your discounting Rachel based off the fact that she’s a girl is a disservice to all women and girls around the world. You are not superior simply because you were born male. Please remember that’.

Secondly, he said ‘The only person in this room who can be Prime Minister one day is Rachel. I say this because she’s the only person who wants to be and she’s the only person who thinks she can be.’ He went on to say ‘The only limitations you have in this world are the ones you put on yourself’. If these boys over here don’t think she can do it, are they going to stop her? No. If Rachel wants it bad enough, she’s going to make it happen regardless of who says what to her. If Rachel doesn’t put a limitation on becoming Prime Minister, I see no reason why she cannot grow up to be just that’.

‘The only limitations you have in this world are the ones you put on yourself.’

Anyone has the power and possibility to do anything that they set their mind to, so long as they’re willing to work for it. So I guess the question is, if you’re not willing to work for it, do you really want it?

Also, it’s important to stop passing on the notion that people are less valuable to our society because of their gender, age, ability/disability, skills, intelligence or anything else that people use as a means to discredit or undervalue someone. Even at twelve years old the boys in my class had already had it ingrained in their minds that women couldn’t do what men could do. We need to remind ourselves, our friends, our family, that a person’s worth to this world is not measured by statistics. It’s not measured by the things we cannot control.

If Rick Hansen can wheel over 40,000 kms through 34 countries on his own, in a wheelchair and Terry Fox can run 5,300 kms on one leg, if Susan Wojcicki can be the CEO of Youtube, if Ruth Bader Ginsburg can still be sitting on the Supreme Court at 86 after beating cancer several times, and people all over the world can defy the odds (the odds we put on ourselves no less) then the future really has limitless possibility.

Remember that next time you judge someone based on their appearance, their gender, their age, or any other reason you think is an excuse to devalue the potential someone brings to this world.

Don’t wait for the new year for resolutions. Things for you to quit TODAY

  1. Trying to please everyone.
  2. Fearing change.
  3. Living in the past.
  4. Overthinking.
  5. Being afraid to be different from everyone else.
  6. Sacrificing your happiness for others.
  7. Thinking you’re not good enough.
  8. Thinking you have no purpose.

People always wait for New Year’s Day to make resolutions and honestly, why? Make these resolutions today. Make change today. Better yourself today. You deserve it. You’re worth it. Don’t wait for some arbitrary day to try and change you thinking – start to try and change the way you think today.

It’s not going to be easy. And it’s not going to happen at the snap of your fingers. But if you make the effort to enrich your life with serious changes that will ultimately benefit you long-term, the change will be worth it.

Do it. Do it today.

I DESIGNED SHIRTS!

I DESIGNED SHIRTS! And these shirts are for sale! This is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while, so I’m very excited and very nervous to share them with you. All shirts can be fond on my TeeSpring Store here >

Back in March of this year I had shirts printed with my #MillennialLifeCrisis logo on them. I love them. I’m biased, I know that, but I love them to bits. To this day, they’re two of my favourite shirts. So, I created more.

Please be advised: All shirts are printed, produced and shipped from TeeSpring in the United States. Shipping fees are determined by Teespring based on where you live.

If you would like to purchase one of these shirts, note that I will make a profit of roughly ten dollars per shirt sold. If you would like to own one of these shirts and want to support me/my blog, thank you so very much! And if you do not make a purchase, that is totally okay too! Thank you for reading and for your consistent support.

The #MillennialLifeCrisis TeeSpring store >


The #MillennialLifeCrisis logo shirt

The #MillennialLifeCrisis logo was the first thing I ever created when I made this blog. It has become somewhat of an… identity to both my blog, but also, this crazy stage of life, one that I know all too many people feel!

Available in t-shirt ($20), long sleeve ($25) and crew-neck ($30). Each of these prices is in American dollars. I believe that if you visit the site from elsewhere in the world, Teespring will convert the price to what it costs in your currency. Example: The t-shirt is $20 American, when I view the store front it shows it as being $26.13 Canadian.

Colours available include: black, grey light pink, light blue. Shirts are unisex sizes. Sizes available are dependent on the shirt you order.

The Millennial Life Crisis t-shirt

Buy it for yourself, or for your favourite Millennial. This design is available in t-shirt ($20) only. This price is in American dollars. I believe that if you view the website from elsewhere in the world, it will convert the price to your local currency.

Colours available include: white, grey, light pink, light blue. Shirts are unisex sizes. Sizes available are dependent on the shirt you order.

The AUTHENTIC MLC Shirt

Authenticity is a message that I often preach on my blog and something that I find great importance in. I wanted to create a shirt that made a statement. And, I truly believe this shirt does. The front of the shirt reads “Authentic” in large print with “MLC” underneath. MLC measures less than 1’x1′ in size. Its big enough to be there but small enough to not take away from the message.

Available in t-shirt ($20), long sleeve ($25) and crew-neck ($30). Each of these prices is in American dollars. If you visit the site from elsewhere in the world, Teespring will convert the price to what it costs in your currency. Example: The t-shirt is $20 American, when I view the store front it shows it as being $26.13 Canadian.

Colours available include: white, grey, light pink, light blue. Shirts are unisex sizes. Sizes available are dependent on the shirt you order.


All shirts will be available until November 10, 2019. If you would like to purchase one to rock the #MillennialLifeCrisis brand and support this blog, thank you! I am immensely thankful for your purchase.

Visit the #MillennialLifeCrisis TeeSpring Store >

If you do not want to purchase, that’s totally okay too. Thank you for your consistent reading and support of this blog and everything that I share. Your support has meant the world to me in 2019 and is a big part of what has gotten me through. So thank you so very much for all that you’ve given me!

And if you like what you see, please feel free to share with your friends, family and so on. I’d be interested to see the reach that this project of mine could possibly get.

Thanks so much ❤

Vee

Important Reminder

You are not defined by anything that your family says, does or feels. You are your own person and are entitled to your own thoughts, actions and feelings. Being related to someone, by blood or not, does not mean that you are forced to be like them, or forced to be one of them.

I think it’s extremely important to note that you can both love and be thankful for your family while still not wanting to be like them. Contrary to popular notion, this does not make you a bad person. This makes you your own person. An individual. And shouldn’t this be everyone’s goal?

May your comeback be stronger than your setback.

Simple. Concise. Powerful.

I’m not sure who the first person was to say this quote, but it was exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve had a rough day. Well, if I really want to sell myself a pity party, I’ve had a rough year. Nevertheless, I digress.

As I sat across the table from a complete stranger today and listened to his sage wisdom of life, love and the pursuit of happiness, these words struck me.

‘May your comeback stronger than your setback,’ he said. ‘No one can escape setbacks in life. Even the most privileged, wealthiest, well off of individuals still have setbacks. One of the best things you can do for yourself is use that setback as a setup for one hell of a comeback.’

My god, one hell of a comeback it’s going to be. I need to keep fighting. And… I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Truth be told, it’s a pretty big flaw of mine that, almost at the snap of my fingers, I can go from a happy-go-lucky state of being to pretty down-and-out. And it’s once I hit that down-and-out state of being that I really stop fighting for my comeback.

I need a comeback. I deserve a comeback. I’m smart enough, talented enough and I can do this. I can and will do this.