Feeling a little lost today.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about time. The time we give, the time we take, the time we steal, the time we make, how much time we get, how much time we don’t… it’s crazy to me how two people can go through the same six months together and come out as completely separate people.

If you’d asked me a year ago if I thought I’d be this person today, I would have said ‘hell to the no’. Hell, if you’d asked me six months ago if I’d be here today, I’d have laughed you right out of my house. That’s the thing about time though… though we all expect it, you never really see it coming.

I’ve changed a lot… so much so that it scares me sometimes. So, I try to not think about it. My priorities have changed. My desires have changed. My outlook on life as a whole… has changed. Does anything ever stay the same?

As I navigate this new version of me, hoping to find happiness in a world that doesn’t seem to have a ton of it these days, I’m wondering if I even know what happiness is anymore. Would I know happiness if it were staring me in the face? I have so many questions and with next to no answers.

I lied in order to get a job interview and I don’t feel bad about it.

Anyone who’s applied for a job online in the past couple of years knows that, at the end of almost every job application form there’s a question along the lines of “Are you presently living in ________ (location)?”

Here’s the truth: that question in there because said company does not want to pay to relocate an employee. If you select ‘No’, your resume/application is automatically being submitted into the ‘do not consider’ pile. They would rather only consider professionals already living within their city then branch out. Even if it means they’re not getting the best candidate for the job.

If you select no, they won’t even review your application. You might as well not spend the time in sending it, because you’re only wasting your time.

Story time:

I wound up in this city that I am presently residing because I came here to help my mom through her cancer treatments. That being said, this is not where I want to, or plan to, stay. I’ve been applying for positions in Calgary. And, probably will continue to do so until I find the right one.

Last week, whilst on holiday, I got a call from a company in Calgary asking for a phone interview. I distinctly remember applying for the position with this company and checking ‘Yes’ where it asked if I presently resided in Calgary. A lie, yes. But, I knew that all I needed them to do was read my resume and I would stand out from the pack.

I did the phone interview and they loved me, naturally. I’m pretty fucking amazing (and I don’t say that to be cocky, I say that because I know what value I could bring to any office). During the interview I was upfront and said ‘Calgary is a city I would like to be living in by the end of 2019’. Shocked and confused, the woman conducting the interview asked where I was presently living. When I told her where I was she admitted ‘we really don’t interview candidates that don’t live in Calgary’. Somehow they’d read my resume and loved me based on content provided, but had ignored the address listed on my resume.

When I hung up the phone, I really didn’t think I’d hear from them again. Though I’d nailed the phone interview, I didn’t live in Calgary and that seemed like a deal-breaker for them.

To my surprise, I got an email later that afternoon asking if I could have a phone interview with the boss the next day.

Of course!

The next day when I was talking to the boss, I nailed it. He loved me. I could tell that he loved me by the way he was responding to what I was saying. I once again mentioned my wanting to move to Calgary and he said ‘Oh, you’re not in Calgary?’ I explained to him what I had said the day before and the woman I’d spoken to the day before let it slip that she liked me so much she didn’t tell him where I was living.

Nevertheless, he liked me so much that they’re coordinating a video-conference interview for me to do this week. And honestly, I’ll talk to them as many times as they’d like, because the bottom line is that I know I’m qualified, I know I’m willing and they need to know that discounting an application based on someone’s geographical location is stupif.

If you’re looking for work, please LET THIS SERVE AS A REMINDER: if you are not selected for a position, it is not because of lack of qualifications. It can very well be something as stupid as checking ‘Yes or No’ on a questionnaire.

I’m willing to relocate to Calgary on my own dime. And if a company would bother to talk to me, they’d learn that. So counting myself out because of location isn’t a fair step of the process.

Don’t ever let ‘the process’ keep you from your destiny. If you need to fudge the truth in order to be heard, do it. The process is an extremely convoluted and, at times not even fair, series of events. I don’t see anything wrong with taking control out of their hands and putting it into your own. If you’re a badass, count yourself in, check yes and let them see just what they could have if they opened their eyes beyond a narrow scope.

Great moments in literature.

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars…

Jack Kerouac

I’m very particular about the people that I let into my life, those I’m friends with and those who I associate with. Why? Because I’m a firm believer that people should add to your life, not take from it.

When you really stop to think about it, you know who’s adding to your life and who’s chained to your leg like a dead weight you’ve been carrying around for years. As you weave your way through this crazy world, always remember that you can be open, honest and transparent with the world while still realizing that not everyone deserves a seat at the table that is your life.

All work is noble.

A woman slowly, carefully, collects her strength and steps her way out from behind the counter, purse in hand, hair net still on her head, and walks towards the door. It’s been 13 hours since she got to work this morning. Her feet are aching and have been for hours. And she just kept cooking. She always keeps cooking. Every day she wakes up hours before the rest of the world and she works hard, all day. Why? Because that’s her job.

Just down the road a man is working his second shift for the day. As he lifts up the trash can and dumps it into the compactor truck that he’s driving, his muscles strain just a little bit more. Some put their trash in bags, others don’t. Some put lids on their cans, others leave theirs to spill out over the street. And he collects it all, every time. No one acknowledges him. No one ever says thank you. They just expect him to do it and he does it. Why? Because that’s his job.

As a society we tend to decide one’s value in this world based on what their job is. And, the people in this world who work the jobs that society doesn’t necessarily value, those are the are the people I have the greatest admiration and appreciation for. Why? Because they keep our society going. They keep our world functioning. The work HARD. All of the fucking time. Whether their feet hurt, their back aches, their stomach grumbles, their arms quiver, they just keep working.

Cooks, garbage collectors, cashiers, waiter/waitresses, construction workers, plumbers, janitors, and so on and so forth (I really could go on forever), these people work hard, all of the time. They keep us going. They’re there for us when we need them and they ensure that our lives function properly. I don’t think people really understand how much they bring to our lives and how thankful we should be that they do what they do. Example: people don’t pay attention when the garbage collector comes, but they sure as hell crank when the garbage collector doesn’t come.

I think if there’s one thing I can teach the people in my life it’s that I want them to be thankful for those people who do the jobs we all take for granted. I want them to place value on all work, and not just their work. I don’t want my family member’s to think their kids have to end up with doctors or lawyers, I want them to think that all jobs are noble and they’d be lucky to have a son-in-law or daughter-in-law that is simply passionate about what they do, no matter their job.

Doctors and lawyers are very valuable to society. They absolutely are. But, I want the people in my life to understand that so is the cleaner who keeps your house tidy, so is the cashier who keeps their register open ten minutes late to ensure you can purchase your food even after the store closes.

All work is noble work. Remember that when you see someone walking with a slight limp because their feet or so sore after they’ve been on them all day. Remember that when your garbage is collected or your house or office is clean without your having to do it. Remember that when your brother or sister or son or daughter, or even you, are searching for love. All work is noble work. Everyone plays an integral role to pushing our society forward.

The importance of medical research, and, the doctors who do that research.

A few months back I wrote a post in which I explained that if I ever won the lottery, I’d donate a large sum of my winnings towards medical school tuition for prospective doctors. I also explained how my grandpa was the one who gave me the idea/outlook. (Click here to read the post)

Last night I read an article that, once again, reminded me the importance that doctors play in each of our lives. The article explains that researches at the University of British Columbia (UBC) believe they’ve found a means to reverse or eliminate Type 2 Diabetes. (The Arcticle)

The jist of the article is that researches at the UBC believe they’ve targeted a protein in sufferers of Type 2 Diabetes that they believe, if eliminated, can reverse or eliminate the the disease. This is huge news! Imagine the amount of people in this world that could benefit from this.

Research saves lives. Research considerably improves the lives of people living with medical conditions and research is vastly important to pushing the medical field, and the human race, forward. And doctors are so integral to this research.

Think of all of the diseases/conditions that exist. It puts my mind at ease to know that in a lab, somewhere in this world, there’s doctors working away trying to fix them, to reverse them or eliminate them. They’re researching ways to find cures. They’re researching ways to aid those who are suffering. Even if you’re not suffering, you know someone who is, and seeing that person you know and love be able to feel better, that’s worth a whole lot. Research helps everyone.

Just imagine a time in our lives when no one has to suffer from Type 2 Diabetes anymore. Or imagine, the doctors researching a reversal of Alzheimer’s finding success. Or any disease for that matter.

Doctors are so integral to the well being of our planet, and I hope that as more research comes out more people will start to realize that.

I wholeheartedly believe that no prospective doctor should ever be deterred from his/her dream due to the sheer cost of medical school/becoming a doctor, and I hope that one day I am able to help them as much as they help the rest of us.

My goal for this week.

It’s Monday and I’m setting an intention for the seven days ahead of me. My goal for this week is to be more positive.

I’ve been realizing lately that I use this blog as a means to vent. Which, I’m totally okay with. I’m a firm believer that life is messy and that sharing the negative pieces are just as important as sharing the positive. I’ve come to the realization though, that I need to share more of the positive. So, that’s my goal for this week.

I’m going to do everything that I can to be more positive. I want to think more positively and I want to look at the world in a better light.

Venting is healthy. It absolutely is. I vent a lot and I welcome other’s who vent as well, because I believe in being real. But in being real, I need to look at the world in a more positive light. It’s something I definitely struggle with, and since the good is out there, I need to make more of an effort to acknowledge it and appreciate it.

One of the most accurate descriptions of love that I’ve ever read.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Bob Marley