Important Reminder

You are not defined by anything that your family says, does or feels. You are your own person and are entitled to your own thoughts, actions and feelings. Being related to someone, by blood or not, does not mean that you are forced to be like them, or forced to be one of them.

I think it’s extremely important to note that you can both love and be thankful for your family while still not wanting to be like them. Contrary to popular notion, this does not make you a bad person. This makes you your own person. An individual. And shouldn’t this be everyone’s goal?

May your comeback be stronger than your setback.

Simple. Concise. Powerful.

I’m not sure who the first person was to say this quote, but it was exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve had a rough day. Well, if I really want to sell myself a pity party, I’ve had a rough year. Nevertheless, I digress.

As I sat across the table from a complete stranger today and listened to his sage wisdom of life, love and the pursuit of happiness, these words struck me.

‘May your comeback stronger than your setback,’ he said. ‘No one can escape setbacks in life. Even the most privileged, wealthiest, well off of individuals still have setbacks. One of the best things you can do for yourself is use that setback as a setup for one hell of a comeback.’

My god, one hell of a comeback it’s going to be. I need to keep fighting. And… I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Truth be told, it’s a pretty big flaw of mine that, almost at the snap of my fingers, I can go from a happy-go-lucky state of being to pretty down-and-out. And it’s once I hit that down-and-out state of being that I really stop fighting for my comeback.

I need a comeback. I deserve a comeback. I’m smart enough, talented enough and I can do this. I can and will do this.

There will always be bad people in this world.

The fact of the matter is, no amount of effort put forth will eliminate the evil in this world. All that we can and should do is try to lead by example.

There will always be bullies, there will always be keyboard warriors and there will always be those who thinks that their wealth or privilege allows them a right to treat others poorly. There will always be crime and people will always be innocent victims because of that.

We need not be evil though.

When you’re trying to justify horrible behaviour, don’t. You’re better than that. When you’re thinking that revenge is the right answer, it’s not. You’re smarter than that. If someone tells you that vengeance is the answer, tell them they’re wrong. A temporary solution to a permanent problem is going to give you nothing more than an empty feeling in your heart.

Be good. Do good. Lead by example.

‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’ I hear this quote recited a lot, but I think people often forget about the message it conveys when they get angry. When in reality, it should remain applicable regardless of what happens.

Be the change. Don’t tell me that because bad people will always exist that you don’t need to be good. That your goodness couldn’t possibly matter. That shows weakness and lack of character. Are you either of those things? I don’t think so.

Goodness matters, every day. Kindness matters, every day. Be the change. Lead by example and let the bad people, the bullies and the idiots self-destruct with their own… because you know they will.

At the end of the day,

all you can really do is put your best foot forward and your true self out there. If people don’t like that, that’s their loss. You are who you are for a reason and you should be damn proud of that. Don’t ever feel ashamed for who you are.

Enough with this ‘I don’t measure up’ talk. Enough with ‘I’m just not good enough’. It’s time that you looked yourself in the mirror and reminded yourself just how amazing you are. Because you are. Ignore the noise and focus on you.

If someone doesn’t want you, that’s a reflection of them, not of you. Your tribe is out there, and let me promise you this… they will appreciate you for exactly who you are and what you bring. Whether it be a job, a relationship, a friendship or a family, you deserve the very best and I don’t want you to ever settle for less.

The world you want is out there and it can be won. Anyone who tries to keep you from that doesn’t belong in your life and doesn’t deserve your time.

A ‘love letter’ to the WordPress community

I think we all want to feel like our words matter. Like they make a difference. Like we mean something to someone. That we’re not just aimlessly wandering through this life, not leaving a mark anywhere, with anyone.

I get that. I really do. I feel that way a lot.

I think that’s why it’s so amazing when we come across someone who’s words align so well with the way that we think, with how we see the world, with who we perceive ourselves to be. Finally finding that feeling as though you’re not alone, it’s a big deal.

For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of meeting someone who understood me, who didn’t want to change me, who liked me just the way I was. And last year, I found that. Not only had I never known a love like that before, but I’d also never known an understanding like that. It was beautiful, unwavering and felt like it weather any storm.

Because when you find someone who’s words resonate with you, it’s a magical feeling (for lack of better terminology). It’s almost as if you’ve got this family that you never knew you had. People who understand you, who love you for who you are and have no interest in changing you.

I get that. That feeling, it’s everything.

This place has become like a second family to me. I come here when I’m sad. I come here when I’m mad. I come here when I’m happy. I just like to come here. I like the people. Even when they notice, and point out that I probably come here too often, I just like the place. I just like the acceptance, how everyone treats you as though you’re one of their own. Like you’ve known each other all along and this is the place you were meant to be.

No one judges me here. No one holds my faults against me. People just appreciate and respect. And, man oh man, that’s a nice feeling to find.

Thank you. All of you. Thank you. You mean the world to me.

Simple ways that you can be a better person today.

I’m a firm believer that if you take small steps every single day, you can be a better person with each day that passes. It doesn’t take much… it really doesn’t. There are no grand gestures needed, no shows to put on for attention. It’s just a matter of making select choices to make your life better and make the lives of others better.

Here’s a few small things you can do to be a better person:

  1. Tell someone you love them. Whether it a husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, father, brother, sister, daughter, son… whoever it might be, just tell them you love them. We all need to hear it once in a while.
  2. Hold the door open for someone. It’s a small gesture, but it means a whole lot.
  3. Use your manners. They cost nothing, but mean a whole lot. Please, thank you and have a nice day can make a difference between someone having a shit day and someone having hope in the human race.
  4. Offer a compliment to a stranger. Everyone’s just trying to get by and kindness from a stranger can go a long way in this crazy world.
  5. Be honest. Stop lying to people. Show them that you respect them enough to tell them the truth.
  6. Listen. Listen. Listen. Sometimes, being an ear for someone to talk to is the best thing you can do for a person. You don’t even have to talk at all, sometimes all someone needs is just to be heard.
  7. Help. Whether it’s giving up your seat to an elderly person, helping someone carry their groceries, or corralling a runaway toddler, a little bit of help that takes virtually no time out of your day can make a world of difference.
  8. Be yourself. The world doesn’t benefit from your playing small to fit in. Be who you are, who you want to be, who you dream of being. Project your best self and you can be your best self.
  9. Be respectful. You can disagree with someone without being an asshole. You can appreciate the time someone takes, even if it isn’t of benefit to you.
  10. Educate yourself. Learn. Learn what you can. Learn all that you can. Knowledge is power and spewing opinions and misinformation because you aren’t up to date on the current situations of the world, it doesn’t benefit everyone. If your thoughts, opinions and words are factually based, that’s one thing . But if you’re just spouting regurgitated talking points, stop… educate yourself, then try again.
  11. Make someone smile. I’m a firm believer that a smile is the best, and cheapest, gift that you can give someone. And, since you never really know what someone is going through, giving them a smile at the least is a great addition to their day and can often mean so much more than you could ever imagine.
  12. Let go of anger. It’s not doing you any good. It’s not doing the person you’re angry at any good. Just drop it. You’ll feel better when you do.
  13. Try to assume the best in others.