2020 Resolutions

2020 seems like a great year to have a great year. In an effort to leave room for growth, I have set what I believe to be very thoughtful, very attainable resolutions. This year:

I want to be more aware of time. The time I take, the time I give, the time I make, the time I live. I want to have more appreciation for the time I get, the moments I love and the people that make them so special. I want to acknowledge, and appreciate, time… for exactly what it is. We don’t get enough of it, so in 2020 I’m going to saviour it, every second of it.

I want to love and appreciate myself. For far too long I’ve been far too critical of who I am, diminishing what I accomplish and beating myself up for what I don’t. I may not be able to attain perfection, but I can appreciate the journey and celebrate what I do accomplish.

I want to proofread my posts before I hit publish. For the past year this blog has been my thoughts, in the moment, as they happen. And, while I’m not ashamed of anything that I’ve said on this blog, I think that I would be much happier with what I publish if I checked the spelling and grammar first. My posts will never be perfect, but they can be a lot better.

I want to put myself ‘out there’. I want to see if there are companies who’ll possibly sponsor this blog. I want to write articles for other people. I want to take part in more podcasts. Dare I say, maybe one day, show my face to the world. I want to freely, take this blog in any direction that an open door can lead and never say no to an opportunity.

I want to take better care of myself, my mental health and my well being. When I get stressed out, the last thing I think about is my own well being, and I really ought to start putting myself first once in a while. I don’t need to be selfish, I just need to take care of myself. No more crying myself to sleep. I’m going to confront my feelings, eat properly, exercise, and try to see the better sides of life. I’d love to cut my sugar intake by 40-50%. I’ll always love sweet foods, but that doesn’t mean I need to eat them just because they’re there. My body is a temple and I need to treat it better so that I can feel better.

I want to learn more about photography and how to take beautiful photos. I’ve spent so many years of my life trying to edit shitty photos to make them look better for various companies that now I’d really to learn how to take beautiful photos to start with. Colour, composition, focus, flash, shutter speed… I really want to study the art of what it takes to get the perfect photo. After all, if a picture’s worth a thousand words, I might as well make them valuable words.

I want to go somewhere that I’ve never been and experience something I’ve never done. I am the type who wants to dangle my toes of the edge of waterfalls, walk hand-in-hand with weird and wild creatures of the forest, learn embarrassing phrases in foreign languages to be the ‘token tourist’ who makes everyone smile and laugh because they can’t help but love her quirky can-do attitude. So let’s go please. Let’s find an adventure.

I want to teach my friends and family of the importance of sustainability and making eco-friendly choices. I may have made small strides in 2019, but more can be done. It’s been a difficult transition for a lot of people in my life and I really want them to make better/smarter choices with respect to the purchases they’re making and the actions they’re taking. I know it’s possible, and I think with more education everyone can be making smarter choices… even if it’s as simple as buying stainless steel straws and cloth shopping bags. Every decision counts. This is our world and we ought to protect it, look after it and love it.

I want to reach a point where I no longer need to worry about money, or how I will afford things. I’m not someone who needs fancy things, but what I do need is to know that the basics, the simple things in life, will be attainable to me. I don’t want to fear my credit card bill. I don’t want to put off doing things like buying new glasses any longer. My eyeballs need new glasses. Of course, I know, a job will help with this. And, fingers crossed, the stars will align for me from that perspective.

I want to spread kindness to whomever I meet, wherever I go. The world needs more kindness and people need to know they’re loved, worthy and appreciated. If I can accomplish even the smallest fraction of that, I’ll consider it a success.

I want to test out Vessi’s Waterproof shoes to find out if they’re actually as good as they’re hyped up to be. I want to test out a weighted blanket to find out if they really help with sleep, anxiety, restlessness and all other things they claim to help with. I want to test out some noise cancelling head phones to see if they really help me avoid the rest of the world when I need to focus. Also, I’d like to test out waking up exceptionally early to see if it would really make me as productive of a person as everyone claims waking up at 4:30 am makes them.

I don’t ever want to spend another New Year’s Eve alone.

This year is going to be about openness, honesty, generosity and goodness. I want everyone to remember that you cannot do all the good that the world needs, but, the world does need all the good that you can do.

Things that happened in 2019

A lot has happened this year. But, since most of it isn’t really worthy of recollecting, I’ve picked an event from each month as a memory of a year that I’ll be happy to say goodbye to.

In January I sent a lawyer after my former employer for wrongful termination and, in him working his magic, I was able to get four times the amount that was initially offered in severance. January also marked my mom’s third surgery in less than a 30 days. January was also the month I started this blog. Its inception was with purpose to give me a place to vent about the stress I was going through.

In February I went to the Ice Magic Festival at Lake Louise, fulfilling a dream that I’ve had for more than ten years. It might have just been the coldest day of the year, but nothing (ABSOLUTELY NOTHING) was going to keep me from that lake.

In March I got extremely sick. I went to the hospital multiple times, spent most of the month on different forms of antibiotics and sleeping. It was a long, very cold, very dark month. Knight looked after me and listened to my cry the whole time. This man would get up and out of his pjamas to go to the store in the middle of the night and get me a smoothie, because I wanted one.

In April I went to the Cancer Clinic with my mom, five days a week for many weeks. I watched as she got her treatments, cleaned up after her when she got sick and threw up, made her feel better when she was feeling depressed. I saw the people around her, each with different forms of cancer, each in varying stages of the disease, many with smiles on their face because they were thankful for the life-saving treatments they were receiving. Cancer is an extremely scary illness that affects so many people in our world and I am so thankful that my mom’s was caught early enough that she is now happy and healthy.

To everyone affected by cancer this year, I see you, I feel you and I understand you. Whether you went through it yourself, or you helped a family member or friend through it, you’re amazing. Remember that.

In May I went to Niagara Falls/Toronto. It was a quick trip, jam packed with ensuring I hit all the tourist spots and, all the local spots that were recommended to me before I went. I stayed in a room that had the most stunning view of the falls, took a few turns on the Skywheel, walked the falls at night to see the light show… it was a magical weekend for me. May also marked the birth of my niece, Aya.

In June I got a job offer around the end of the month. It was a digital marketing job, working in publishing. The employer hit me with a lot of paperwork – asking me to sign away my intellectual property rights and several other things. After some amendments were made to the contracts, I signed them and was given a start date of July 15th.

In July my job offer was rescinded. On July 13th, to be exact, precisely two days prior to when I was supposed to start. I was mad, pissed, unhappy and felt like I’d been cheated. The only explanation I got was ‘corporate restructuring’. Wowee. July also marked the birth of my nephew Phillip.

In August I went to Calgary to see an allergist and have a breathing assessment test done. I reckon being trapped in a 2×2 box on a hot summer’s day with no air, being forced to showcase who well, or poorly, your lungs are functioning feels quite similar to what summer in Arizona feels like. IT WAS HOTTTTTTTT.

In September I took a few solo road trips through British Columbia. The Gold Rush Trail was stunning and the Highway Thru-Hell was filled with A LOT of road construction. My mom, finally being healthy enough to travel, went with my dad to Denmark to visit their new granddaughter, so I had a month filled with peace and quiet and was reminded how much I appreciated living alone for ten years. I also saw my best friend, her beautiful family and spent a short amount of time in Vancouver. Twas a good month for me. Even if I was still jobless.

In October I worked the Federal Election. It was long, arduous and awful. The supervisors were idiots and the other clerks were extremely rude. But hey, we won. And, much like I predicted in October, Andrew Scheer did lose and has since resigned his post. I’m extremely glad we don’t have a pathological liar in charge of our country.

In November I turned 31. I had a bit of an existential crisis, lost my marbles for a wee bit and god, my birthday, the actual day itself, is not something I want to remember.

In December I made a commitment to purchasing gifts from Thrift Stores for my family. The way we do things in my family is, because there are so many of us, each of us gets one sibling or parent to purchase a gift for. That gift we’re supposed to spend between $75-100 on. After that, we usually gift each other small, minor things that we think would bring smiles to each other’s face. IE My brother Tyler really loves Starburst candy, so my brother Aaron bought him a bunch of Starbust for Christmas. Me, I spent the month searching thrift stores, and wound up purchasing some new, or almost new gifts for each member of my family for between $5-10 each.

2019, I won’t miss you. You’ve been a long, shitty, disappointing, difficult, heartbreaking, gut-wrenchingly awful year. To the good that did happen, I am grateful and I will always remember it. To the rest, it will serve as a reminder of things I never want to experience ever, ever again. This has been, without a doubt, the hardest year of my life. This has been the most difficult of all 30 years and two months I’ve spent on this planet.

I have resolutions. I plan to, hope to, desire to stick to them. Most of all, though, I hope that 2020 is whole lot fucking better than 2019 was.

Out with the old, in with the new.

The difference is amazing.

I love junk food. I really do. Chips? Good. Skittles? Good. Pop? Really good. But, the difference I feel in my well-being when I actually choose to eat healthy in a day is astonishing.

I think I’m going to make one of my new year’s resolutions to eat healthier. I’m the type of person that runs to junk food when I get sad, or even mad. It’s a definite crutch, and while it’s tasty, it’s not good for me.

Food plays a really big role in how your body functions. I’ve always known this but it’s affecting me so much more these days than it did when I was a teenager.

Eating healthier in the new year, that’s what I’m going to do. I won’t say I’m cutting junk food completely. I’m a firm believer that small doses of anything is great for the soul. But, I’m going to try to cut the junk food. I think that cutting it by 50% would be a really good goal for me. I think that’s what I’m going to try and do.

But after Christmas. Because someone went out of their way to make me gluten free, dairy free Nanaimo bar and I want it.

Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions?