Day 1 = Done

Went back to the office today. I’m proud to say that I only had one panic attack the entire day. With how anxious I’ve been feeling about being in the office and being around my coworkers, only freaking out once is a huge deal for me.

The CEO left a Costco Size bottle of hand sanitizer, a set of face masks and a large container of disinfectant wipes on everyone’s desk for when we arrive. Normally I am not a fan of single use products, but I think under the circumstance it was a nice gesture for him to provide and I will make use of them. After all, my aversion to single-use products is far less important than keeping the office clean and disinfected.

It’s weird… being around people right now. I want to be nice, I want to be kind. I want to shake the hands of someone I’ve never met. I can’t. I fear people. And I don’t mean that in a way to make me sound weak, or sad, or pathetic… I say that to say the closer I get to people, the closer I get to germs.

I just got out of the shower. Needless to say, I needed to do that before I could do anything else when I walked in the door. There’s about enough time left in the day to have some dinner and decompress. I need to get ready to face the world again tomorrow.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that feeling.