Day 28: That inexplicable lump in your throat right before you’re about to cry.

I’ve been crying a lot lately. I can’t even tell you why.

That’s a lie. I can tell you why. I’m overwhelmed. Everything seems to be overwhelming me these days.

Being unemployed is weighing on my heart. I don’t know what to do. On the one hand I find myself feeling as though I am the problem. Am I the problem? Am I unqualified? With a university degree and nearly a decade of work experience under my belt, am I the problem? On the flip side, I can’t help but feel as though companies are going about the hiring process in all the wrong ways in 2019.

Needing to fill out a questionnaire that takes 40 minutes, simply to apply for a job at your organization, seems like overkill. Maybe I’m wrong but can you not save the questionnaires for the actual job interview? What do you actually ask candidates in your interviews if they’ve already told you everything about themselves during the application process?

So, after 28 days, as I get ready to walk into the unknown of being jobless and homeless, and to an extent, hopeless, I’m crying a lot. A lot more than I want to be. I hate crying. I want to have my life figured out. I want to know where I am going next. I want to have a plan. I feel like Phoebe Buffay in that episode of Friends when Monica asks “Phoebe, do you have a plan?” to which Phoebe responds “I don’t even have a PL…”

That’s about how I am feeling today.

I don’t even have a “PL”.

I really need to stop complaining on the internet.