Breaking down the language of job postings

Don’t mine me today, I’m just ranting.

They say ‘Urgently Hiring‘ but what they really mean is ‘we’ll get to you when we get to you‘. I’m completely and utterly convinced that ‘Urgently hiring’ is a ploy to collect more resumes and faster.

Under type of employment they say ‘Full time, part time, contract’ and what this ALWAYS means is that it’s a contract position. More and more companies are leaning towards contracting employees because they don’t have to guarantee their hours, they don’t have to give them a benefits package and they don’t have to guarantee them a position tomorrow, if they don’t want to.

‘Bilingualism would be considered an asset’ means that you shouldn’t bother applying for this position if you’re not bilingual. Gone are the days when marginal understanding of a second language was enough to help. If you’re not fluent, written and speaking, in a foreign language – brownie points if it’s in French or Chinese or sign language – you’re really not going to be considered.

When they say ‘We are an equal opportunity employer’ that means they prefer men, but they’re not allowed to say that they prefer men. Thus, the questionnaire at the end of every job application has appeared where you’re required to answer if you’re male or female, consider yourself to be of a minority, and whether or not you have a disability. This information is none of the potential employers business whatsoever, but they’re required to meet a quota… so, you know, they can’t meet that quota if they don’t have this information before they even bother to consider/call potential candidates.

When they say ‘must be a fit individual who meets the aesthetic requirements of representing our brand’ what they really mean is ‘if you’re not skinny and beautiful, we don’t want your resume’. Honestly, I’m not even sure how companies can get away with having this on their job descriptions… but, hey, it’s 2020 and I’m reminded of just how closed minded the world still is about beauty standards.

When they ask ‘Do you have a diving license?’ what they really mean is ‘do you have a driver’s license?’ See, this one is just them trying to throw you off. What it actually shows is that no one proof-reads their content before it’s published. Which is not the best look for a company. But… you can decide if it’s worth it or not.

When they say they’re looking for someone to ‘develop and execute social and influencer engagement strategies’ what they really want is for you to find local ‘Insta Famous’ folk to pretend to use their products. It should be a giant red flag if a company solely wants to use influencer marketing to build its brand. A real marketing strategy has a development plan that executes all levels of marketing, not just Instagram.

When they say people of all education and skill backgrounds will be considered, what they’re really saying is ‘If you don’t have a Master’s Degree, you’re not welcome to sit at our table. Because you know, it’s 2020 and that Master’s Degree means everything.

When they say ‘Thank you for your application, after careful consideration of your information we will be moving forward with candidates we believe better match the skill set that we are looking for this position’ largely what they really mean is that they haven’t even looked at your application. Yeah… I don’t think a lot of them care about the fact that you can now see on both Indeed and LinkedIn which companies even bothered to download/open your application. I get a lot of these ‘after careful consideration of your application’ emails from companies who haven’t even bothered to acknowledge my application exists. They didn’t read it. They didn’t glance at it. They didn’t even download it. I just got filed in the ‘No’ pile, immediately.

Sporadic thoughts at 1:30 AM

I’m scared to admit my true feelings because, if I dare speak them into existence, I am required to face them. Facing fears is not something I’m good at. Facing misery is not something I line up to do. Facing dysfunction is not something I’m wired to do.

But everyone does it.

So why can’t I?

What’s wrong with me? Why does it feel like everyone around me is moving forward with their lives, at rapid speeds no less, whilst I am sitting around twiddling my thumbs and getting sick over and over and over. Yeah, I know how to stop getting sick – stop hanging out with people who are sick. It’s kind of hard to do when that’s EVERYONE this time of year. But the rest of it, I don’t know how to fix something if I’m not even sure why it’s that way to start with.

Maybe it’s karma.

Maybe karma is kicking me in the ass for all those years of being an unruly teenager, dating a drug dealer, leaving the country without my parent’s knowledge. I swear I straightened out when I hit my twenties, but for a few years there, I’m sure I was the child, and sister, from hell.

I believe in signs from the universe. I guess I really ought to remind myself that the universe always balances itself out somehow.

It’s 1:30 am and I am awake because sleeping is hard when it’s hard to breath. I am, in fact, Sheldon Cooper in female form when I am sick. The difference between Sheldon and myself is that I have no one here to sing soft kitty. Everyone here just tells me to stop whining and get over it.

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur…

Things I don't understand…

While I fancy myself a somewhat not-stupid person, there are still plenty of things in this world that escape me. There are so many things that I do not know, that I do not understand, that my simple mind cannot grasp.

  • Chemistry – No matter how hard I try, I cannot grasp this subject… in its entirety
  • Why no one wants to hire me! I’m competent, confident, have a degree and skills. What am I doing wrong?
  • Why people do bad things. What makes a murderer a murderer? Likewise for other heinous crimes.
  • Why Gluten Free anything costs at least $3 more than it’s counterpart, sometimes up to $10 more…
  • How on earth the peel of bananas gets thinner as the banana gets more ripe
  • Why it’s 2020 and we’ve yet to find an alternative to single-use plastics
  • Why an Octopus has eight legs… why not seven? Wouldn’t a septopus be just as cool? Why does it have eight legs?
  • Why someone who cleans your teeth makes twice, and often triple, the salary of someone who can save your life in an emergency
  • Why people don’t vaccinate their children
  • What’s the best song to listen to when you’re sad?
  • Why someone always knocks on the door the moment I answer the phone
  • Why Teen Mom is still a thing…
  • Foot Fetishes… I just… when I think of the attractive pieces of the body, feet are not high ranking for me.
  • Why people build glass homes on the sides of cliffs in earthquake prone parts of the world (I’m looking at you California and Vancouver)
  • Why Old Town Road was considered a good song
  • What is the appendix for? Why does it burst in some people and not in others?
  • How someone can justify spending an entire mortgage payment, or more, on a pair of shoes, or a handbag.
  • Why people lie?
  • Why do people watch the Bachelor?
  • Why does the United States use Fahrenheit as a measure of temperature?
  • And soooooooooooooooooooo many more things

An Influencer reminding me why I don't like Influencers

This whole industry of Influencers that has popped up in the past 10 years (mostly the last five), it really grinds my gears. I’ve mentioned it a few times on my blog before (here and here and I guess here too).

People all over the world are using their good looks and charm to influence others into taking advantage of people, doing stupid things, or becoming a slave to a corporate entities who give little to no value for their actual products being promoted. I’m talking about you EVERY DETOX TEA ON THE MARKET and anyone who promotes them.

I hate the term Influencer because I’m of the belief that someone who actually uses their influence for good would never want to claim the title of ‘Influencer’. A true Influencer is not a clout chaser, they don’t need the title for validation. This internet breed of Influencer’s we’ve created ourselves (yes, we created them… gave them platforms and are the reason they’re sitting in multi-million dollar mansions wearing 50,000 dollar fur coats) are money hungry, vain and vapid.

As you can tell, I’m not a fan of the industry.

So, I was really unimpressed when I saw a video today of Jamie Zhu, an Australian ‘Influencer’ who posted a video to YouTube with the title ‘How to fly business class for FREE!’

Free, you say? I’d love to travel the world, though I’d never assume that I’d get business class tickets for free. Tell me more, Jamie Zhu. How exactly does this work?

The entire video breeds ‘I’m a smug asshole’ vibes throughout. Jamie goes to the airport Pharmacy, buys a ‘moon boot’ for ankle/foot injuries and wears it onto the plane to then put on a show about how his ankle boot doesn’t fit in the seat and exclaim that he needs a new seat because he has a broken ankle and can’t take the boot off.

Not only does he get upgraded to a first class seat, but he takes the fucking boot off his foot the moment he does. He continues on the video playing up the smug asshole persona throughout and, at the end of the video, walks off the plane without the moon boot as though nothing ever happened.

I’ve never heard of this dude before today, but apparently he’s quite popular in some circles. He has more than 700,000 YouTube subscribers, and this video has been watched more than 150,000 times. I have so many thoughts. Sooooooooooooooo many thoughts.

  1. I don’t buy it. I don’t think this is real. I think he bought and upgrade his seat and put on a show for the clout that he could get on YouTube with this video.
  2. Of the 150,000 people who’ve seen this video, how many of them do you think are naive enough to try this? Using your YouTube channel and influence to promote fraudulent behaviour is not just reprehensible it should be punishable. If nothing else, he should be blocked from flying with this airline anymore.
  3. If this video is real, I really hope someone from this airline has seen it and is considering (if they haven’t already) banning him from being able to fly with them.
  4. Using a disability, even a temporary one at that, is not something that people do to get free fucking stuff. Anyone who has a disability, temporary or permanent can attest. What was one here is insulting.
  5. This also poses a risk of really harming people who have legitimate disabilities because people will watch videos like this and stop believing them.
  6. Using a platform of 700,000 plus people to promote fraudulent behaviour and showcase what a smug asshole you are is a large part of the reason why Influencer culture is so toxic and why your industry is KILLING businesses small and large around the world.
  7. The fact that YouTube hasn’t demonetized this video is part of the reason why I have such issues with YouTube. This idiot is continuing to make ad revenue from people watching this video. Dear Youtube, SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN.

Honestly, I could rant on and on about this. And I probably shouldn’t have even linked his video in this post to start with, because he’s not worth the video getting more views. I get that.

If you do happen to see the video thanks to this post, please don’t be mean. I think more could be done if perhaps you could click to report it? Maybe if enough people report it to YouTube, they might demonetize it? Likely not, but a girl can dream. And, if you’re feeling really motivated, maybe you can share his video to Cathay Pacific. They have various Social Media Platforms which you can reach out to, and an email address on their website here. (Scroll down to the bottom and you’ll see the Icons) If it is a legitimate video in which he scammed them for a first class seat, then they should see it. And, if enough people send it to them, perhaps it might make it to the right person who needs to watch it.

Thanks for reading my rant.

As I rant/ramble on… (warning: expletives ahead)

I’m not really sure where this image originated, it seems to be making its way around the internet so I don’t know who to credit. Sorry!

First and foremost, something I’ve posted to social media but not to WordPress, The Australian Red Cross is accepting donations from around the world. If you would like to donate to help those affected by the devastation of the ongoing wildfires in Australia, please click here.

If you do not have the means to donate, I would strongly encourage anyone who reads this to inform themselves as to what is happening in Australia and the reactions (or lack thereof) the Australian government has had. Australia has one of the most, if not the most, unique and diverse ecosystems on earth with hundreds of species who call it home that exist nowhere else on earth. Everyone should be aware of what is happening, what has been lost and what is at stake.

If you’re in Australia and have been affected by these fires, or not, my heart goes out to you. I come from an area of Canada that deals with forest fires annually and I know the heart-wrenching horrors that is watching the world burn up around you… and we don’t even have Koalas to worry about.


Okay, so where to start…

The house is quiet, for a few minutes at least. Insert casual Vee.

It is the first week of the new year (and new decade) and everyone who lives in my house has been sick. Really fucking sick. I’ve been taking them to the hospital to get IVs because they’re just that sick. It has made for a lot of long days and even longer nights. Let me tell you this – cleaning up someone else’s puke is no joke. I’ve always had a respect for doctors and nurses, but when I go through week’s like this week has been, I respect them so much more.

Today, I decided that I needed to do something for myself, so I went for a massage. I told the masseuse, a woman, that I was there to get the knots worked out of my lower back. (I’ve been dealing with some serious tension in my lower back as of late and I thought a massage might help) Her response? Lathering her hands in fucking oil and then running them through my hair. Did I want a head massage? No. Did she try to persist after I told her to stop? Abso-fucking-lutely. There aren’t a lot of things in this world that make me really, truly angry… but when I have clean hair you best not fuck that up.

I was relaxed up until that point. Actual smoke started spewing from my orifices. We had a very frank discussion about what it means to listen to a customer when they make a request of you and my angry voice came out. My angry voice RARELY comes out…

Sadly, that wasn’t the only time the angry voice came out today.

I decided that it would be smart to carry my open laptop, a glass of water and a plate of dinner downstairs at one time. Yeah, that didn’t end well for me. Thank goodness I have one of the most indestructible computers of all time, but I had some very choice words for myself after that happened.

‘You’re such a fucking idiot.’

‘This is why you can’t have nice things.’

I really hope that I’m not the only person in the world to yell at myself when I do stupid things. Also, there’s really no saving your dinner when the dogs run over to start licking food off the floor at the bottom of the stairs. So… protein bars it is?

Today’s score is: World – 2, Vee – 0.

In other news, I don’t think I’ve ever done this, but here’s a song that I really love:

This band is a favourite of mine. I’ve never heard a song of their’s I didn’t like. They’re a Canadian band and they actually had a song (Knocking at the Door) become a bit of a sport anthem in the past couple of years. It was used for the NHL playoffs, NBA Finals, the Super Bowl, the World Series, the World Cup, the Olympics, and so on and so forth. They’re not so much Indie anymore, but I still love them dearly and have fond memories of their incredible shows in dark, dingy pubs across this country.

Also, here’s a book that I really love:

If you’ve ever felt like you just don’t fit anywhere in this world, like you’re misunderstood and you’d be better off on your own, away from every one and every thing dragging you down, this book is for you. I’ve read this book probably… 30 times at this point. Each time I read it I get something new from it.

Alright, I think that’s all for now. I can hear my name being called from upstairs…

Make smart choices.

Bye.

12 more months of me

I have renewed my WordPress subscription for twelve more months, so I guess it’s time for me to get a whole lot more creative. Also, I would like to be a whole lot more thoughtful with respect to the things that I say with my blog moving forward.

The career series is still coming. It’s something I very much have my heart set on doing. I got a little tied up with the whole situation wit my cousin and her son, then there was a baby here for ten days… not sleeping. Needless to say, It was a few weeks that seemed to fly by, but also somehow, last a lifetime. If I told you I was going to email you, that email will still be coming.

*If anyone remembers my post about my cousin’s son, there is a familial match, so we are grateful for that blessing and hopeful for the prospects that brings for her son’s health.

Words hurt.

They really hurt. Sometimes words have the power to swing faster, hit harder and deliver a stunning blow stronger than any raised fists.

People think that they know everything about you based on what little they hear and they judge. People always judge.

My skin is getting increasingly thinner by the day and I’m having a harder and harder time dealing with the things that people say.

The other day, I was told that I’m abusive. I was told that I, the person who goes out of her way to make anyone and everyone happy no matter what it does to my state of being, am abusive.

I’ve been told that I’m lazy, stupid, jarringly out-of-touch with reality. I’ve been told that I don’t want a job because I’d rather sponge off my family than actually work. Trust me, I have heard it all.

And it bothers me. As much as I’d like to say that the words of other people don’t bug me, they do. It hurts to hear people who say they love you, say those things to you. It hurts to hear people who really don’t know you, say those things to you.

Sometimes I’ll say something. Sometimes I’ll fight back, stand up for myself, remind people to use their words wisely because the things they say can and will affect the people they say them to. But, a lot of times, I won’t. People think that’s me being a pushover. But really, it’s me understanding lot of times nothing I say will change their minds. Nothing that I could possibly say, no matter how calmed and reasoned or loud and intimidating I could say it, would make a damn difference.

When people make up their minds, most of the time logic has nothing to do with it. A lot of times, they think what they think and that’s the bottom line. And to those in this world who feel it’s appropriate to voice their judgments, put their harsh words on display, nothing is really going to change that.

Whether your mind is made up, or there’s room for change, all I ask of people is that they think about the things they’re saying before they say them.

Because words hurt.

And you haven’t the foggiest idea the power your words can hold over someone.