Things I don’t understand…

While I fancy myself a somewhat not-stupid person, there are still plenty of things in this world that escape me. There are so many things that I do not know, that I do not understand, that my simple mind cannot grasp.

  • Chemistry – No matter how hard I try, I cannot grasp this subject… in its entirety
  • Why no one wants to hire me! I’m competent, confident, have a degree and skills. What am I doing wrong?
  • Why people do bad things. What makes a murderer a murderer? Likewise for other heinous crimes.
  • Why Gluten Free anything costs at least $3 more than it’s counterpart, sometimes up to $10 more…
  • How on earth the peel of bananas gets thinner as the banana gets more ripe
  • Why it’s 2020 and we’ve yet to find an alternative to single-use plastics
  • Why an Octopus has eight legs… why not seven? Wouldn’t a septopus be just as cool? Why does it have eight legs?
  • Why someone who cleans your teeth makes twice, and often triple, the salary of someone who can save your life in an emergency
  • Why people don’t vaccinate their children
  • What’s the best song to listen to when you’re sad?
  • Why someone always knocks on the door the moment I answer the phone
  • Why Teen Mom is still a thing…
  • Foot Fetishes… I just… when I think of the attractive pieces of the body, feet are not high ranking for me.
  • Why people build glass homes on the sides of cliffs in earthquake prone parts of the world (I’m looking at you California and Vancouver)
  • Why Old Town Road was considered a good song
  • What is the appendix for? Why does it burst in some people and not in others?
  • How someone can justify spending an entire mortgage payment, or more, on a pair of shoes, or a handbag.
  • Why people lie?
  • Why do people watch the Bachelor?
  • Why does the United States use Fahrenheit as a measure of temperature?
  • And soooooooooooooooooooo many more things

Things I think about when I’m trying to fall asleep at night…

“Did I lock the door?”

“Is the oven off? I haven’t cooked in hours. But, what if I left it on? I know I shouldn’t let my OCD win, but what if? Oh, anxiety you SOB.”

“How many times do you think I roll over in a night? I wonder if Fitbit could ever make an option to track that rolling over. That’s got to count for calories burned, right?”

“I wonder if there’s a way to send supplies to people struggling in North Korea.”

“I wonder if people in North Korea know they’re struggling. If that’s all they’ve ever known, maybe it’s just normal to them?”

“Why are avocados so expensive?”

“I wonder if I’ll ever get a job.”

“Passport to Paris is the best Mary-Kate and Ashley movie ever.”

“I wonder if I ever cross anyone’s mind when they’re trying to fall asleep at night.”

“Can the right pair of jeans really make my butt look that much better? I don’t want my butt to look average, do I? Or, do I really care?”

“English accents are just so adorable.”

“How can I start my own business?”

“I wonder what serial killers think about when they sleep at night.”

“Now that these ancestry kits are available where people are sending off their DNA to find out where there family comes from, do you think serial killers are wondering if their family members might be sending off their DNA and that, could eventually, lead to their getting caught?”

“If you get arrested, own up to it. If all you have is excuses, this likely wasn’t your first time and probably won’t be your last doing whatever caused you to get arrested.”

“I miss cheese. Oh and bread. And chocolate.”

“You should sleep.”

“You should really sleep. Why do you lay awake like this?”

“I have to pee.”

“Reading a book will help me sleep.” Picks up book and gets bored five pages in. “Yeah, I don’t want to read a book.”

“Why do people think Canadians talk funny?”

“Why do people think Canadians apologize so much?”

“Why do I apologize so much?”

“I wonder what people say about me behind my back. I mean, I don’t want to know because I know that it’ll eat away at me. But, at the same time, I’m curious.”

“Why do I have such a hard time sleeping? How do normal people go to sleep?”

“I wish I could sleep.”