Pet Peeve: “Don’t be such a girl” and so on and so forth.

It makes me angry when I hear people say things like “don’t be such a girl” or “you fight like a girl” or “you throw like a girl”. As a female it gets thrown your direction so dang much that eventually you just start to believe that being female is a bad thing. You just accept it. You know what it means and you don’t argue with it because arguing would take far too much time and effort on someone who doesn’t want to understand.

I am a girl. I have a short stature, and long hair, curvy hips and small hands. I’m proud to be a girl. I do fight like a girl – because I am a girl. Fighting like a girl doesn’t mean that I’m a bad fighter, or that I’m weak, or that I’m incompetent. I’m extremely competent and if it came down to a physical fight I could hold my own with many men. 

I do throw like a girl. It might not be as far as my male counterparts, but that doesn’t stop me from sinking baskets, or clinching that out at home plate. It doesn’t stop me from hitting the waste basket EVERY…SINGLE…TIME.

Being a girl is not a bad thing. It pisses me off when people throw it around as though it’s an insult. Just because I was born female does not mean that I am slower, dumber, weaker and not as good as a man. I make my own money, I pay my own bills, I work, I work out, I fix broken pipes, change flat tires, lift heavy boxes, and can turn around and put on a dress and heels after it’s all done.

I am not weak. And being who I am is not less than anyone else in this world. 

Being female is not a bad thing. It’s not a weak thing. It’s not something that we should be ashamed of, sad about, or made to feel as though we’re not good enough when a man wants to put down another man. And women do it to, don’t get me wrong. I would say that infuriates me even more – when women say it to one another. I just want to hold a playback button to their ears and ask ‘do you her yourself right now?’

As a gender, we should not be treated as though we’re lesser than because we don’t grow up to play in the NBA. ‘You throw like a girl’ is not an insult and should not be used as such. ‘Don’t be such a pussy’ should never be used as a means to make someone look weak.

Firstly, do you really need to insult this person? Could your efforts be put forth to something more positive? Secondly, if your insulting someone is coming at the cost of degrading or demeaning an entire gender then you need to work on your insults. Tearing other people down is not a way to get your point across.

You know what, save the insults all together. When your girlfriend beats you in an arm wrestle, I hope you’re proud of her. When you’re daughter hits a home-run at bat, I hope you’re extremely proud of her. If you really, genuinely, must make reference to someone you know as being weak, just use the term weak. That’s it. Nothing more. Leave women and girls out of it.

Let us throw how we want to throw and live how we want to live. The world is a much nicer place when we’re not verbally or physically beating up on one another for the gender which we’re born into.

Day 35: Insert adequate title here.

This is a rant. It’s a rant and a bit of a ramble at the same time. These thoughts have been circulating my head a lot the past few weeks.

“You sound like a hot-line call girl,” a complete stranger said to me over the phone one day.

“Unbotton another button on that blouse and I’ll let you sit in on the management meeting,” my manager casually mentioned to me in the office one day.

“Sweetie, give daddy a kiss and I’ll give you a tip larger than you can handle,” one of the customers said to me as I was serving his table while waitressing one day.

“I know you ain’t a hooker but honey how much would it cost me to take you home for a night,” a random man in a bar yelled at me one day.

What’s the worst thing that’s ever been said to you? Was it a one-off moment that left you with distaste in your mouth and frustration in your head? Or do you have a lot of examples…. examples just like these.

The thing about inappropriate comments are that people get away with them all too often. We brush them off, sweep them under the wrong and act as though they didn’t happen… all too often.

And, on the occasions that we do stick up for ourselves, we’re treated as hostile, angry, difficult or labeled ‘a bitch’, further escalating the situation beyond what we thought it was worth in the first place.

There’s a youtuber that I like to watch, Kristina Kuzmic, who posted a video recently that made me rethink all of the gross, disgusting comments I’ve heard in my life. And in just five minutes, she adequately explained all of the reasons why behaviour like that shouldn’t be tolerated anymore, and why as women we should be empowered when we stand up for ourselves.

Since seeing it, I have encouraged all of my friends and family to watch this video. It’s an important message. Whether something is being said from behind a keyboard or in front of your face, it’s not something I want to tolerate anymore. It’s not something I want my nieces to have to tolerate when they grow up. It’s not something I want to happen.

I can’t say anything to the men in my past who’ve made me feel cheap, gross or uncomfortable, but I can in the future. I think that’s the important part her video. Stop being silent about it.

Here’s to no longer tolerating things that shouldn’t have ever happened in the first place.

#OutThem