Why do roommates suck so hard?

When I finished university I made a promise to myself that I was going to always ensure I budgeted the money to live alone. I had a few ridiculous experiences in University with roommates that had turned me off roommates for a lifetime. But that’s a story for another day.

For nearly a decade, I did live alone.

When I moved out of my apartment at the end of January, I started crashing with Knight. Knight has a roommate, Derrick, that is… how would I describe him… hmmm. Knight’s roommate is a bipolar lunatic (and I don’t mean this in a way to be insensitive to someone who is bipolar, I mean it in that – when he’s nice, he’s nice, and when he’s not nice – you really don’t know what’s going to happen). When we come home each day we never know which side of his personality we’re going to meet.

Putting the big frustrations aside for a moment, let’s talk about the small frustrations with roommates.

When you live with someone – consideration is a necessity. Consideration is something that Derrick severely lacks.

We have one fridge – for three people. One fridge seems like a lot of space but three people sharing a fridge, when two of those people (Knight and myself) eat primarily fresh food only, the fridge fills up quickly. And it’s not because of Knight or I, that it does so. Derrick is one person who doesn’t even eat at home most of the time and he takes up 3/4 of that fridge. Why? How does one person eat so much? He doesn’t. There’s food in that fridge that expired three months ago.

Derrick is also a fan of taking off his clothes in various places throughout the house and leaving them in the middle of the floor. He also is a fan of making food and not finishing it and leaving it out in the living room for days on end before he actually cleans it up. Like we’re talking these things start growing mould before he cleans them up.

And one could argue – why don’t you just clean it up? Firstly, I do a considerable amount of cleaning in this house to start with – solely because dirty houses bother me. Secondly, I don’t feel as though cleaning up after him will solve anything. He’ll begin to think his ways are okay because I’ll just come along and clean them up. And I don’t want that. I’d rather pester him incessantly so that he knows it pisses me off.

Now, Derrick also is a particular fan of marijuana, and though I can’t prove it, I’m pretty sure he likes cocaine as well. When Derrick is high, there’s no dealing with him. Somehow, a man who is always complaining about the lack of money he has, always seems to have lots of pot around. He likes to mix his pot with alcohol and go off on benders on the weekends. He likes to scream and shout at the top of his lungs – including outside in an attempt to wake up all of the neighbours. Knight and I quite literally rejoice when he goes to his friend’s houses to party because it means we don’t have to deal with. I’m not opposed to someone having a good time. But, I think it’s kind of sad when you’re doing it alone at home to pass your time.

Derrick also likes to play up the ‘I’m a solo bachelor who doesn’t like to look after himself’ act. While he’s more than capable of cooking and eating properly, he frequently (somehow) weasels his way into eating the dinner that Knight and I make. Apparently we just ‘make such good food it’s hard to pass up’. That’s fine, we do make good food. But we run through it that much faster when a third person is eating it too.

I realize that I’m ranting at the moment and that these are very first world problems but man oh man do I really wish that I lived alone still.

Why does it seem like all roommates are inconsiderate assholes? Because I know I’m not the only one who deals with shit like this. And on the flip side, do they think I’m an inconsiderate asshole? Do I do things that annoy them in this way? I’d like to think that I’m pretty considerate of my situation, but maybe he thinks the same about me?

Long story short, roommates suck.