Overheard on Discord

Employee 1: Anyone with cats – how do you stop them from meowing for attention? My cat is driving me nuts lately

Employee 2: Give them away.

Employee 3: Give them unending attention. Problem solved. You’re welcome.

Employee 4: If you feed them well, take care of their litter, and shower them with affection, they’ll die in 15 – 20 years. Just wait it out, buddy.

Employee 5: We found that getting a dog and having babies both bothered and entertained the cat. You could test that out?

Employee 4: Yeah, I agree. You should get Employee 5’s dog and kids.

Employee 5: You want to borrow my dog and kids for a few days, weeks, months or years to test the theory?

Employee 6: My cat is perfectly happy sitting next to me all day. All I had to do was get him his own laptop so he could feel as though he was a part of the team.

Employee 7: Yeah, there’s a reason why you guys always see my cat’s ass on video chat. Needy shit-head won’t leave me alone. Wait it out, buddy. You should be good in 15-20 years like Employee 4 said.

This conversation actually went on for a solid two hours this morning. The conclusion saw my coworker giving his cat their own laptop. He said the cat got quiet when it had its own keyboard to lay across. Maybe it just felt like it was missing out?

Can’t say that I’ve ever had a cat as a pet before, but I was laughing pretty hard reading this conversation. You definitely have to be a patient soul to own a cat. hahaha!

Quarantine Clich├ęs

Perhaps everyone’s in the same boat as I am, or perhaps I’m the only one who has noticed. Over the past month and a half I’ve noticed a distinct trend in content that has ‘overtaken’ social media. It all seems to be different variations of exactly the same thing. It’s trendy to follow suit. And hey, I get it… we’re all stuck at home and there’s a societal pressure to be as productive as possible during this crazy time.

For today’s productivity, I decided to compile all of the things that EVERYONE seems to be doing so that I can make a promise to myself to not do these things and continue to lounge around eating cookies all day long. Please note, the following includes a lot of sarcasm.

  • Buy a ton of canned beans that I am not now, nor ever, going to actually consume.
  • Join TIK-TOK… because the perfect place for an anonymous internet blogger is on a platform where literally the entire point of the app is to show yourself doing ridiculous things
  • Become a fine-dining chef who can cook absolutely anything with the very limited groceries that are presently on the shelves in grocery stores. If it’s not a four course meal, I will no longer eat it.
  • Turn my Lululemon leggings into face masks because $130 pants are sooooooo 2019 and if you don’t turn your most expensive clothing into face masks you’re not doing it right
  • Tie-dye EVERYTHING… because white and grey clothes were so 2019
  • Start using the term ‘groutfit’ to describe my new choices of outfits… because nice clothes all together were so 2019 and all I’m wearing these days is sweatpants
  • Bake bread, learn to bake sourdough bread (what’s the obsession with sourdough bread, btw?), find the perfect banana bread recipe, or pumpkin bread or apple bread or… what kind of fruits or weird additives can you put into your loaf of bread? I may have celiac disease but dammit I need to learn how to bake bread
  • Read all the books. Every book on your shelf. Every ebook you can get your hands on. Every book that’s ever been published, printed or digitally uploaded.
  • Order anything and everything that I can get my hands on from Amazon. Do I need it? No. Should I buy it? Abso-freaking-lutely. It’s Amazon, it’s convenient. I think that’s what people are saying anyways…
  • Pay RIDICULOUS prices for online workout classes because it’s trendy and I should not be saving my money right now
  • Spend all of my money and ensure that I don’t save a dime. I don’t have things I’m looking forward to. I don’t have things I want down the road, I need to spend it all now because quarantine is foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Anybody else have stress wrinkles coming in hot throughout this quarantine? Just me? PS. If you like or enjoy any of the activities above, please feel free to share some positive stories of these activities. Goodness knows, I could use some more positivity in my life. I may be the most unproductive member of society right now, but I know that doesn’t mean that everyone else is lounging around eating cookies all day.

Unrelated but I’m a little excited today because I came up with a stellar design for a #MillennialLifeCrisis sweatshirt last night and my sister-in-law told me that she’s going to make me a sample with her cricut machine and mail it to me. I hope it turns out alright.

The ‘Insta Famous’ Starter Kit

So, you want to be Insta Famous? I don’t blame you. With people raking in millions of dollars for posting selfie after selfie after selfie of themselves it looks like a really easy way to get rich.

Make no mistake though, this is a really difficult industry to break into. Why? Because it’s so saturated. With so many beautiful people in this world, you need to find yourself a means to stand out. And how do you stand out? By being exactly like the rest of them, clearly.

To become Insta Famous, you will need:

  • To wear A LOT of makeup, but to always tell your followers that you’re not wearing makeup and that you’re ‘naturally this pretty’
  • To not be afraid of putting on that bikini when it’s needed! Does it make sense to have a photo of yourself wearing a bikini at the edge of the Grand Canyon? Of course it does! Girl, put on that bikini and wander out to the edge for the best view possible.
  • To always remember – Pics or it didn’t happen!
  • It is typically going to take twenty to thirty minutes of arranging the food on your table at the restaurant and arrange good lighting to ensure that you get the best picture of all food ordered to make others jealous they’re not there with you right now. Also, your food will be cold by the time you get to eat it. That’s just a fact of life you’re going to have to deal with.
  • To not smile. Don’t ever smile. Smiling isn’t sexy and you need to be sexy to be Insta Famous
  • Lip Injections couldn’t hurt, if you can afford them. If you can’t afford them then just grossly over-line your lips. Remember, we want to look as much like Kylie Jenner as possible
  • To purchase the premium FaceTune account. It’s only $80 a year, and honestly, your face cannot look like it has pores, so honey, just buy it.
  • To always tag a brand. Yeah, you know that portion of Instagram where it says ‘Who’s in this picture?’ Don’t tag the people in the photo, silly. TAG BRANDS! Tag all the brands! You want them to see your photo and how beautiful you are and how sought after you are. After all, if they know you’re name, that’s when they’ll send you all of the free things.
  • To abide by the rule that you cannot ever post a picture of anyone but yourself. After all, people are going to come to your Instagram to see how beautiful and sexy you are. They don’t want to know that you have friends, or family. That’s not important.
  • To write long, meaningful, deep captions about how difficult it is to be so beautiful and how hard your life is because you have to deal with all sorts of things that we aren’t aware of and that you’ll never talk about.
  • To always stand in front of the most plain background possible! This will make face-tuning your entire body easier. Face-tuning with cobblestone streets in the background gives away that you’ve been editing yourself. Standing in front of that famous pink wall in LA? No one will ever know that you shaved twelve inches off your waist!
  • If you’re going to post an ad, please make sure that you post the most elaborate or contentious ad that you can possibly think of! That’s how people are gong to remember it! Scored an advertisement for coffee creamer? PERFECT! Take that creamer on a run with you and snap that photogenic picture at the top of the the hill, overlooking fields of green and beautiful landscape all behind you. People are going to ask themselves ‘WHY, WHY, WHY?’ so much, they’ll remember your ad, and that product. Get it, girl.
  • Workout pictures are a must. Because you must look like you’re working out at least five days per week. Aesthetic is everything.
  • If you can bleach your hair, it wouldn’t hurt. You don’t have to… but if you do, you’ll stand out more among all the other’s who have bleached hair.
  • Make sure that you’re never seen in the same outfit twice. Reusing outfits is unacceptable. This world is about hyperconsumerism… so get on board and do not, under any circumstances, rock the boat.
  • Any time that you can take a picture of yourself on a plane is a definite bonus. You need to make other’s jealous of your life! If you cannot afford to travel, have no fear. There are now people who ‘pimp out’ their private planes for Instagram Influencers to rent in half-hour stints to get their travel photos taken! Bring a couple of outfits, change quickly and you can have content for the next six months if you’re smart about it!
  • Host a fake giveaway! Require everyone who enters to follow you, as well as everyone included in your caption! Then, have them tag six of their closest friends in the comments. All publicity is good publicity and people love the opportunity to earn free stuff!
  • Oh and you musn’t answer any comments that you get on your posts. Unless you want to be mean. If you’re going to be mean, then definitely answer the comments. Tell people to butt out of your life, or that they’re too nosy or that they shouldn’t judge you. That ALWAYS goes over well.
  • Do it for the gram! Honestly, everything and anything you do, just make sure that you’re doing it with the mindset of what great Instagram photos you’re going to get. You’ll never go wrong, I promise you!

This list was inspired by a recent Instagram Account I found – ‘influencersinthewild’. If you’d like a good laugh, I strongly encourage you check it out!


Please note – Everything in this post is meant to be taken in a satirical sense. I am not Insta Famous, and honestly, I’m probably the last person you’d ever want to consult if you wanted to be Insta Famous. I genuinely don’t understand the Industry, or the human race for that matter.

Responding to weird/mean comments and DMs and emails

I’m not sharing who sent these to me because I don’t think they deserve any attention. I just wanted to share this in good fun. I was talking about them with a friend of mine a few nights back and thought it would make for a good laugh, or at the very least a smirk.

Normally, I don’t let comments like this see the light of day, but I’m feeling a desire to clap back. And sometimes, you just have to clap back.


herd ur short on cash. how much can i give u for a pic of ur feet

No. No. No. God no. Never. No. No way jose. No. No. No. No thank you. No. I cannot stress this enough… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I bet your ugly and that’s why you won’t show your face on your blog.

You are correct. I am the human embodiment of Princess Fiona from Shrek and I’m so damn scared that people are going to figure that out, I won’t show my face.

You are annoying.

Then why are you following my blog?

You are an idiot.

Again, why are you following my blog?

I have a medication that could help you with your anxiety and I was wondering if you’d like to purchase some?

While I thank you for this kind and generous offer, I typically don’t purchase medications from strangers on the internet.

ur blog sux

Then don’t follow it.

There’s something so sexy about your anonymity. Would you show yourself on cam for me?

Not for all the money in the world.

C***

Did your mom teach you that language?

You act all high and mighty but the truth is you’re not better than the rest of us. We’re all losers here.

I actually don’t think any of us are losers. I also don’t think that I act high and mighty. I know who I am, and I’m actually incredibly insecure. I would never act as though I’m better than anyone else.

you bought your followers

Sorry, no. Had I bought them I likely would have done it the first weekend I made the blog so that I could have been popular from the get go. I wouldn’t have waited a year to do so.

The lack of god in your heart is the reason why you’re suffering. You could be free, all you have to do is believe

I don’t really consider this mean, as I don’t think the person who was sending this is mean, I just consider this to be kind of… stupid. This is also a really quick way to piss me off. The implication that one’s religious beliefs has anything to do with mental illness is fucking ridiculous. There are plenty of deeply religious people in this world who attend church, give their hearts to the lord, devote themselves and do everything that their religion asks of them and they suffer from mental illness to extents that we couldn’t even begin to understand.

I bet you’re a man and that’s why you don’t show yourself.

I won’t lie, there are definitely days I wish that I was.

You whine a lot on your blog. I don’t get why people think it’s good.

It’s my blog, I can say what I want to on it. As to why people think it’s good, you’ll have to ask them. I have no mind-reading capabilities.

You’re kind of whiny.

I feel like you get me. You really, really get me.

Want to make some money fast?

Does it involve pictures of my feet?

Your spelling sucks. Have you ever edited a single one of your posts? Your blog is painful to read.

My spelling does suck. If you’d like to apply for the position of editor of #MillennialLifeCrisis I’m sure we could arrange something. The pay will be zero but I’m an easy going boss and I give out free cookies. You get back to me if you’re interested!

Things I think about when I’m trying to fall asleep at night…

“Did I lock the door?”

“Is the oven off? I haven’t cooked in hours. But, what if I left it on? I know I shouldn’t let my OCD win, but what if? Oh, anxiety you SOB.”

“How many times do you think I roll over in a night? I wonder if Fitbit could ever make an option to track that rolling over. That’s got to count for calories burned, right?”

“I wonder if there’s a way to send supplies to people struggling in North Korea.”

“I wonder if people in North Korea know they’re struggling. If that’s all they’ve ever known, maybe it’s just normal to them?”

“Why are avocados so expensive?”

“I wonder if I’ll ever get a job.”

“Passport to Paris is the best Mary-Kate and Ashley movie ever.”

“I wonder if I ever cross anyone’s mind when they’re trying to fall asleep at night.”

“Can the right pair of jeans really make my butt look that much better? I don’t want my butt to look average, do I? Or, do I really care?”

“English accents are just so adorable.”

“How can I start my own business?”

“I wonder what serial killers think about when they sleep at night.”

“Now that these ancestry kits are available where people are sending off their DNA to find out where there family comes from, do you think serial killers are wondering if their family members might be sending off their DNA and that, could eventually, lead to their getting caught?”

“If you get arrested, own up to it. If all you have is excuses, this likely wasn’t your first time and probably won’t be your last doing whatever caused you to get arrested.”

“I miss cheese. Oh and bread. And chocolate.”

“You should sleep.”

“You should really sleep. Why do you lay awake like this?”

“I have to pee.”

“Reading a book will help me sleep.” Picks up book and gets bored five pages in. “Yeah, I don’t want to read a book.”

“Why do people think Canadians talk funny?”

“Why do people think Canadians apologize so much?”

“Why do I apologize so much?”

“I wonder what people say about me behind my back. I mean, I don’t want to know because I know that it’ll eat away at me. But, at the same time, I’m curious.”

“Why do I have such a hard time sleeping? How do normal people go to sleep?”

“I wish I could sleep.”

If WordPress was YouTube

Hi everyone and welcome to my blog!

If you’re returning to my blog, welcome back! If you’re new here, my name is Vee and I post daily content related to life, family, frustrations and mental health. I’d love it if you joined the family by hitting the ‘Follow’ button on the bottom right corner of the page.

Bottom right… right down there. (Just imagine me pointing)

Today my post is going to be all about the most requested topic I’ve ever had. And, when I say most requested, I mean I get messages and emails, DMs and comments ALL THE FREAKING TIME that you guys want to hear me talk about this subject. (So, even though literally no one requested it I’m now going to talk about this topic!)

Oh, before I get started, don’t forget to hit the bell to get notifications every time that I make a post because… YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO MISS IT!

Now! On with today’s subject matter of discussion.

What’s in my purse!

Wait, do you guys want me to do a post about all of my designer purses? I don’t want it to look like I’m bragging or anything, because I’m totally not, I just have $20,000 worth of purses in my closet that I love so very much and I use them every day!

In my purse, the ‘Fossil Sydney Satchel’ that you can buy here (so not sponsored by the way, I just really love this purse), I keep:

  • My wallet, also by Fossil. And again, this is so not sponsored, I just really love Fossil!
  • Sunnies! I love sunnies and I need to wear them everywhere I go… even though it’s winter in Canada and the sun rarely shines around here. Spring is coming soon and my sunnies, the gold aviator Ray Bans will come in handy if and when the nice weather ever comes!
  • Lip Balm. Girl! It’s winter, in Canada. If you live here, you know… you need lip balm wherever you go. The cold, dry weather leads to your lips always being chapped. ALWAYS. (Claps in seriousness) My lip balm is the Carmex Balm, because it’s my favourite.
  • Travel Sized Perfume. Have you ever walked past a person and thought ‘Damn, they smell really good’? That’s how I found this perfume. I walked past someone in Metrotown and they smelled so good that I did a full 180, stopped them in their tracks and made them tell me what perfume they were wearing. About a half hour later, I bought the perfume. And, since you’re obviously wondering, it’s ‘Pinrose – Secret Genius’ and it smells like what I would describe as summertime sophistication!
  • Tissues, because it’s winter in Canada so tissues are a necessity.
  • Headphones with a mic. Yes, I have a Samsung phone and I still use my apple headphones. It’s because they have a MIC! Why would I go and buy a new headset if I had a perfectly good pair from my last cell phone? This doesn’t change my thoughts on Samsung though – still prefer it 100-1 over IPhone. I’m a convert.
  • Hair Elastic… because your girl has long hair. Long, long, heavy hair.

Not Pictured:

  • My phone! Samsung Galaxy A70 – I obviously couldn’t take a picture with my phone in it because my phone was taking the picture! Samsung girl for life! I won’t ever go back to an IPhone now that I see how much better Samsung is. (Who am I kidding, I shouldn’t say never. But still, I love Samsung)

What do you keep in your purse? Leave a comment down below and tell me what you keep in your purse, wallet or bag! I love hearing and seeing what people carry. I’m so nosy. So yeah, leave me a comment please!

I love my purse so so soooooooooo much. I love love love it! And, as I stated before, nothing in this post was sponsored, I just wanted to share it with you guys because you’re always asking about my purse and what’s in it and this is my current go-to favourites! Also, I love you guys! So, um… yeah, nothing is sponsored!

If you liked this post please like, subscribe, hit the follow button below and become my best friend!

Also, follow me on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Google Plus, and in life!

I love you so much and I’ll talk to you guys very very soon!


Everything in this post is supposed to be tongue’n’cheek style humour of my impression of YouTube. After writing this, I’m so glad that I don’t write the same way that I speak. I bet people would get annoyed with me really easily. lol

Stop wasting time, start getting things done.

It can be exceptionally easy to plop yourself down on the couch and kiss a few hours of a day goodbye, if you allow yourself.

I have an exceptionally easy time putting off tasks. I can waste the day away, I can waste a week away without even thinking twice about it. And lately I am realizing that I can’t be like that anymore.

For a lot of people, wasting time is not even about laziness. There isn’t so much a desire to just lay on the couch and waste the day away. For a lot of people, deep down, there’s an anxious mind propagating fears. The fears of messing up that keep us from even starting a task in the process, this is what contributes greatly to wasting time. I have a lot of those fears, and I have them often.

Note to self: stop wasting time, start getting things done.

  • Ask yourself ‘why?’ Why am I procrastinating? Do I know how to start? Do I know where to start? D I have the courage to do this, to get things done and to not stop until it’s complete? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions.

Too many people live with the notion that if it can’t be done perfectly then it shouldn’t be done at all. This is wrong.

  • Don’t aim for perfection. Aim to get things done. Once progress has already begun, or a task has already been completed, it is much easier to edit or reorganize your work after the fact.
  • Clear distractions from your life. If having the tv on is going to cause you to lose focus, put the remote away. If having your laptop on is going to distract you, put your laptop under your bed. Don’t allow yourself the opportunity to get distracted.
  • Write shit down. Write it all down. Write down what you need to get done, and hey, if you can, write down some things you’ve already done. There’s a certain catharsis that comes from being able to cross something off your to do list. Just seeing something crossed off will provide you added motivation to cross more off.
  • Give yourself a window of time. Be it ten minutes, be it an hour, be it a day or a week or whatever time frame you give yourself, set a time limit. If you have a limit of time in which you can get things done, you will be more inclined to finish things before your deadline.
  • Celebrate your accomplishments. It’s important to note that when you get something done you need to celebrate the accomplishment. Celebrating finishing a task will help you with motivation for future tasks, and, if you are one of those people who gets anxious about things, or has fear of the future, celebrating the small victories can be really helpful for your confidence level.

9 struggles that come with being a girl.

While I’m very serious about each of these opinions, I’ve taken a more light-hearted/sarcastic tone with explanations. I realize they’re absolutely my own opinions and that, for the most part, they’re very much first world problems. It’s just meant to be more of a light-hearted laugh. Hopefully I’m not the only one who can relate to these things.

#GirlPower

  1. Getting cat called. Seriously, in no way, shape or form does this ever feel good. If anything, it makes you feel cheap… and very insecure. At least it does for me.
  2. Why does everything for girls need to be pink? Honestly. It’s as though male specific products got every colour under the spectrum, but then it comes to female specific products and it’s pink. It’s always pink. As girls are we just supposed to only like the colour pink?
  3. People assuming you know nothing about sports because you’re a girl. Because why would we know anything about sports? All we’re supposed to care about is lipgloss and high heels, right?
  4. When you’re not allowed to legitimately be angry, with people passing it off as ‘You’re just PMSing’. No, you’re just being an asshole and pissing me off. Furthermore, PMS does not make me angry. I know because I’ve been experiencing it 12 times a year for nearly two decades.
  5. “When are you having kids?” This is specifically one for when you reach adulthood. Oh, and don’t forget about how much more awful it gets being asked this question when you have a boyfriend or significant other. It’s as though as soon as you reach a certain age being female, you’re of ‘breeding age’ and everyone is expecting you to have kids. What if I want to establish my career? What if I don’t want kids at all?
  6. Good hair days never last long enough and bad hair days are always too frequent. It’s true. On the days when I feel as though my hair is actually cooperating with me, I figure it’ll last for 3-5 hours… tops. And every other day of the week I rock that ‘just out of bed’ look and that’s the best it gets.
  7. Bra sizes are never the same. NEVER. Sizes differ from store to store and even from bra to bra. You can purchase two bras that are the exact same size in the same store and one will fit and one won’t. Come to think of it, this is really true about all clothing in general. Last week I bought two pair of jeans from Old Navy that were the same size – one pair fit like a glove and the other I couldn’t get over my hips.
  8. Listening and singing along to a really badass song on the radio and then it gets to the point where there are exceptionally degrading comments about girls. You thought it was such a good song and now you’re questioning your choices and why you would like something that profits of the degrading of your gender.
  9. The struggles that come with washing your hair. Because washing your hair means that you need to dry your hair and then do your hair because you have to at least try and then you’ve lost several hours of your day so you start trying to last longer between hair washings.