Is this real life?

Wow. Someone, a real asshole, just wrote me a really nasty note for leaving a comment on their blog. I just read their post and wanted to say something sweet and encouraging about anxiety. I thought it was a nice thing to do? I didn’t expect to get attacked for it.

Seriously. WordPress is a public forum for people to post blogs. If you don’t want people reading, or responding to your journal then write it in a book and hide it under your pillow. Why post it to a public forum?

There’s no need to be an asshole here. Kindness only. I don’t have time for anything but kindness.

To cheat or not to cheat, that is the question.

Everyone who has ever attempted a diet before in their life knows the sheer determination it takes to maintain a healthy eating regimen when there’s such easy access to things like cookies and cheesecake in this world.

I, over the years, have been on my fair share of crash diets that seemed to work for a little bit, but inevitably failed me in the long run.

The thing about fitness, health, well-being, etc… etc… is that it’s not a fast fix. You’re not going to reach your optimal levels of well being after a day. Or even a week. Or even a month. When I log onto youtube and instagram and see people promoting these ‘detox teas’ or wander the aisles of the grocery store and see the ‘sauna belt’ promising a tiny waste, I can’t help but think they’re profiting in the naivety of people who, through no fault of their own, don’t know better.

I’ve been trying really hard (really, really hard) for the past seven months, to make a conscious effort to put good food into my body. Why? I’ve noticed a difference in my mood, in my body, in my energy levels, in my existence… when I eat better food. Kale might not taste as good as pizza, but I’ve been telling myself that for the betterment of myself, kale is what I will choose.

Which brings me to the ultimate arrival of cheat days. Cheat days are inevitable when you’re on a healthy eating kick. At least, I think they are. Because you can only eat kale so many days in a row before you really just feel as though you need a burger.

Cheat days are a struggle. I don’t think it’s just a problem that I have. I reckon that it’s a struggle with anyone who’s ever been on a healthy eating kick. Because if you give yourself that day, if you tell yourself it’s only one day, a sense of panic almost comes over you.

I start to think “If I only have one day to eat this burger then I need to eat this burger and those fries and that cake and that chocolate bar and so on and so forth”.

I have no willpower.

So then I tell myself that I just shouldn’t have cheat days. I tell myself that I can go without it. I tell myself to stay on the straight and narrow and not to deviate from the path because if I don’t test my willpower, my willpower won’t get the opportunity to fail.

But I miss junk food. I do.

Trying to find a happy medium that benefits my health (healthy eating) and benefits my soul (junk food) has been a long road. Which I know in itself sounds like a real first world problem.

I haven’t found that happy medium as of yet, but I am still looking. If anyone has an suggestions for finding the happy medium or for how to increase your willpower, I will gladly take them.