Quarantine Day 3,487

Dear Patrice (HIMYM Reference),

The days are so long and tiresome, they’re all morphing together. How long has it been? When will it end? Much like the theme of my blog suggests, I have a lot of questions and zero answers.

This morning, at least I think it was this morning (let’s face it, it could have been yesterday at this point, or perhaps even tomorrow seeing as I’m so delusional) the snowplows came down our road at 6:15. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the sound of graters scraping against pavement for thirty minutes straight, but it’s not the most pleasant sound to have to listen to, let alone wake up to.

The snowplows grinding our street at 6:15 am made next to no sense given the fact that it was snowing… as they were plowing. And we had six inches of snow in the forecast for today. Perhaps they’re occupied tomorrow. Perhaps they were just excited that being a snowplow driver allows them to work while social distancing.

Anyways, enough about snowplows.

I want to talk about home.

I’m one of those delusional characters who is of the belief that home is where the heart is. For that reason, I’ve actually felt the genuine sense of home for very little of my life.

Earlier this month, I felt like I was getting close. I’ll admit, I had my hopes up. I thought there was a chance I’d be on my way home soon. After two successful interviews with the Engineering firm, I had one final interview scheduled with the CEO on March 10th. On March 9th the HR Manager reached out and said that the CEO’s wife was ill and he wasn’t going to be at work so the interview would have to be postponed. On the 5th when the interview with the CEO was scheduled for the 10th, I was hoping it was going to be for a job offer. They rescheduled my interview for the 17th and well, shit hit the proverbial fan and all my dreams are postponed. The Engineering firm has been closed since the 13th, with only the Engineers themselves working at this point, and only for emergency services.

Don’t get me wrong. International pandemic, I totally get it. I absolutely understand. We’ve been aware of the Corona Virus in Canada since January. In fact, when I went to the hospital in January, they were already taking precautions at that point and had me tested for it. I’m well aware of the serious nature of this virus and do not blame the firm for closing. I think it was smart of them.

I just… am mourning the loss of what could have been whilst simultaneously facing a day to day misery of not feeling welcome where I’m living, whilst simultaneously recognizing that virtually no one is hiring right now. Except Wal-Mart. And yes, I applied.

I’m whining. It’s 12:30 am and I am whining. I fully understand that. I also completely grasp that there are people in this world in absolutely worse situations than mine all around. But, sometimes you just have to let things out. Sometimes you just have to free the thoughts from your brain so that you can think clearly again.

Will this help? Well, if I sleep even in the slightest tonight, I’ll consider it a win.

I had a brief FaceTime call with Knight tonight. It’s amazing how, even in just ten minutes time at one-o-clock in the morning, he makes the whole day better. He just gives me a whole different perspective on things. He changes me. Makes me better. I need that in my life.

There’s a great big world out there. One that needs conquering tomorrow.

Stay safe, stay healthy and stay at least a six foot distance from people. #FlattenTheCurve

Goodnight, World.

1:30 am thoughts

I had thoughts, but honestly, quarantine brain is getting the better of me. I’m feeling disconnected from the people that matter most to me and there’s not a whole lot I can do about it in this time. I’m insecure and second guessing every decision I’ve been making.

I feel like this is a really accurate depiction of life right now. What people look like on the outside versus how they feel on the inside. Because I know I’m not the only one going crazy with this self-quarantine.

Updates from Canada

Places deemed essential services are still open – this includes grocery stores, pharmacies, gas stations and the hospital.

Schools are all closed indefinitely.

Daycares are all closed indefinitely.

Medical school students have now taken on the job of childminding for Doctors and Nurses and healthcare workers so that these people integral to saving lives can continue saving lives without worrying about childcare.

You can order take out from certain restaurants, but you’re not allowed to go into any restaurants to sit down.

You’re not allowed to host an event in which more than 50 people could be in the same room. You’re strongly warned against going to any event that could include any grouping of people whatsoever.

Certain provinces are threatening jail time and hefty fines for those who do not oblige with social distancing regulations.

I live in a small town, so being able to do things like take the dog for a walk has been a relatively easy thing to do. We can walk for miles without meeting anyone. That being said, I do feel people in larger centres need to be more mindful of going out for a walk. I’ve been seeing photos of people at English Bay in Vancouver the past couple of days that have made me very angry.

Our washing machine is broken. The laundromat is closed. How we are going to clean our clothing, I am not too sure. But that’s life.

It’s snowing. Yes, the first day of spring may have come and gone but we are still very much in winter mode around here.

I have an intense, sharp pain in my lower side that has been going on for about four days now. I’m a mild hypochondriac, so it is worrisome. But I’m working on staying calm right now, so I’m trying to not get too worked up about it. I think I know what’s causing it. I’ve definitely suffered from this pain before. And, it can wait for now.

Social distancing and self quarantining have included:

  • Applying for jobs, even though I know basically 96% of the world has halted their hiring right now
  • Weeding through the Corona Virus hiring scams that are posted all over Indeed and LinkedIn right now
  • Dreaming about running away and hiding out in Knight’s apartment
  • Worrying about Knight
  • Writing tons of posts that I’ll never publish on this blog
  • Hiding in my room
  • Cleaning. Everything. With bleach.

Stay healthy. Stay safe. Be smart. Sending my best.

Quitting cold turkey

I’ve decided that I’m not going to take anxiety medication anymore. It’s just too tough on my body. And honestly, the withdrawals are even harder for my body to deal with when I don’t have them then the side effects are when I do. If I’m being totally honest with myself, I’ve been using them to hide from the sheer misery that is my life… and instead of hiding from it, I really need to learn to cope. This is my life, after all.

Addition after the fact: After reading some of the comments on this post, I am feeling a need to clarify. My decision to stop with medication is entirely related to my struggles with medication itself. I am a huge advocate for taking medication if it is right for you and if it helps you. I am not now, nor will I ever, judge anyone for taking medication. In my personal case, it’s reached a point where it is doing more harm than anything else and I need to make a change. I hope that you can understand.

I haven’t been sleeping lately. I doze off for twenty or thirty minute periods two-to-three times in the night, but for the most part, I just end up laying there. Perhaps it’s stress. Perhaps I’m just wired different. Either way, the nights give me a long time to think. I have been taking supplements to help me sleep but the supplements aren’t working anymore so there’s no point in continuing to take it.

Self quarantine has also given me a lot of time to think. Frankly, I’m not too happy with myself. I’m also not really happy with the people who’ve been taking advantage of me for far too long now. People take advantage of my kindness and it’s time I stand up for myself. I saw a quote that said “you can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no” and I realized that’s who I need to be.

Is it legit? Being mindful of emails that try to scam bloggers.

One of the most exciting things you can receive as a blogger is emails about business opportunities/partnerships. Sadly, a lot of these emails often end up being scams. But, in receiving one, you can sometimes get so excited that you’ve been sent this email you forget to look for the small details.

It’s important to be able to tell if an email is a legitimate business opportunity for your blog, or a phishing scam. Lately I’ve both received, and heard of, a lot of different scam emails being sent to bloggers. If you have a ‘Contact Me’ page on your blog, or offer your email address on your blog, you may have even gotten some of these yourself. Here are some things to look for that can help determine whether or not the request you’ve gotten is legitimate.

  • The email should be addressed to you, not to the name of your blog, or a generic phrase such as ‘dear customer’. If you do not provide a first name on your blog, a legitimate business request will include them introducing themselves and asking for your first name
  • The email should have proper spelling and grammar. (This email I’ve included as example is a hot mess) Scams will often exchange ‘o’ for ‘0’ to bypass spam filters that services like hotmail, gmail and yahoo mail have in place.
  • The email should include a company name, at bare minimum, in the signature. If they’re smart, they’ll include it elsewhere in the email as well. If they are self employed, they will acknowledge that.
  • The email should NEVER ask you to do something in direct violation of law. IE Post a paid for advertisement to your blog whilst not disclosing that it was paid for.
  • The email should never request for personal information such as a phone number, access to your blog, pay-pal account info, and so on and so forth. If no business relationship has been established (yet) why would they need this information immediately?
  • A legitimate business opportunity for your blog will never come from someone who ‘expects’ anything from you. Initial emails should be a request and nothing more.
  • Take a close look at the email address, not just the sender name. Often times the domain can be a dead giveaway that an email isn’t legitimate. And, while it is true that some self-employed/small business owners do use services such as GMAIL for business, they will always have their name, or their company name used in the email. In the case of the email example I have attached, the name in the email address of who the email was from did not match the name on the bottom of the email.
  • Do not open poorly labeled or unlabeled attachments. And, if attachments are labeled, be careful to make sure that it’s not a scam before you open.

Last, but certainly not least, does the email make your ‘spidey sense’ flare up?

This list may sound obvious when you’re reading it, but there are a lot of people in this world who fall for email scams. People get so caught up in the excitement of them that there are a lot of Nigerian Princes with a lot of money right now. And, a lot of Lawyers in Monaco that won’t be wiring that 4.2 million they promised from your dearly departed relative that you’ve never met that they set up the will for.

I would strongly encourage that, if you feel an email could be a scam, you do not respond. Even a simple ‘No thank you’ can send them after you for months on end, request after request, annoying the crap out of you in an effort to wear you down.

If you think it could be a scam just hit delete.


Have you ever received a business request/opportunity for your blog that you felt could be a scam? What did it say? How could you tell that it just wasn’t quite right?

Guest Post: How being a loner can be one of your most useful and powerful assets

The following is a guest post written by V from the blog StormyNook. V’s first language is Italian, and he likes to share motivational and thoughtful content to help everyone be the very best version of themselves.


If you fall in this category and you think that being a loner it’s sad, or brings you misfortune…

Think again. You’ve probably been misusing or neglecting your “superpowers” while falling prey to your self-loathing.

Useless! You should instead exploit your UNFAIR perks.

What are they, you ask?
Let me give you some of them:

1) YOUR ABILITY TO WITHSTAND LONELINESS.

WAIT.
Before you enter “forever alone” mode, hear me out. I don’t mean it in a bad way.

Because by being able to do so, on paper-you don’t have the urge to have social interactions, when compared to more outgoing individuals.

Who actually need to be around people to feel great-and might experience & feel loneliness more than you.

Instead, you’re fine both ways!

2) YOU HAVE MORE TIME THAN ANYONE.

And this, I consider a cheat code for life, IF you can exploit it.

Think about this.
If you avoid unnecessary social interactions (Spending nights out drunk, meaningless hanging around, useless partying that leaves you in pieces in the morning, ecc..)

You have the ability to use that otherwise wasted time, so you can focus on:

  • The things you LOVE
  • Your projects\business
  • Improving yourself
  • Learning stuff
  • Becoming a better human, overall

More time on your hands = More relaxation = More time to get ahead of people, HAH!

Isn’t it amazing?

3) YOU CAN CUT OFF MEANINGLESS RELATIONSHIPS MORE EASILY.

Now this might sound cold-hearted and very “inhuman” even, but…

There are some kind of relationships you’re better off without.
I’m talking about the toxic ones.

The ones that hold you back,
That damage you,
That are not giving as much as you,
That you don’t really enjoy.

And while you shouldn’t cut off people randomly from your life (because that IS IMMATURE and shows that you can’t handle cultivating a relationship)

There are times when doing this it’s much needed.

And, being a loner- this might not have the same emotional impact on you-because you’re used to being on your own.

Giving you the ability to be more detached, logic-driven & able to walk away from something that is not for you.


Thank you to V for his contribution to #MillennialLifeCrisis. His blog is StormyNooK. Click here to visit StormyNook > and, while you’re there, drop him a nice note. Being as he’s in Italy right now, he’s under Corona Quarantine and could use some sunshine in his life.

A rant: Decluttering does not equal minimalism, sustainability or eco-consciousness.

This is likely going to come across as quite ‘spacey’ so to speak, but I need to get this out. So, if it makes no sense, then I guess I’ll have to fix it later.

Lately I’ve been noticing this trend going around the internet (I’m pretty sure it started with that Marie Kondo book) and around people in my life, if I’m being totally honest, where people are promoting ‘Decluttering’ and ‘Minimalism’ because it’s become trendy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people doing things that mimic the notion of “I’m a minimalist, it’s so trendy, look at me decluttering in my photos, on my Facebook Page, in my videos, in my blog posts… it’s so great!”

Here’s the thing… if you were actually a minimalist, you wouldn’t have bought those fucking things to start with. Furthermore, please stop pretending as though this trend of becoming a minimalist is sustainable, eco-conscious or good for the environment.

Hearing about how you decluttered your home to throw a bunch of stuff in the trash, that’s the farthest thing from being eco-conscious. And honestly, please don’t try to pretend like you’re doing anything better by donating these things to a Thrift Store. While Thrift Stores try to resell what they can, they’re inundated with millions upon millions pounds of junk people bought and didn’t need each year, so they decided to ‘donate’. And I’m sorry, but you’re not saving the planet by forcing a Thrift Store to throw out things for you.

A minimalist is someone who doesn’t buy things they don’t need. A minimalist isn’t someone who declutters so they have space to go and by more things.

An eco-conscious person is someone who really thinks about their purchases and how they can make purchases that are better for them and smarter for our earth. And I really cannot stress this enough, an eco-conscious person is someone who makes use of what they already have.

For example: Being eco-conscious is not about buying a stainless steel water bottle when you already have a plastic blender bottle. An eco-conscious person says ‘I already have a water bottle so I’m going to make use of that one until it’s worn out or I can’t use it anymore’. Don’t just declutter your water bottle because it’s made out of plastic. It’s a water bottle. You already own it. Fucking use it. Dear god, please just use what you already fucking have.

This eco-conscious movement is being driven by hyper consumerism and it’s driving me crazy. You’re not doing anything good for the environment if you’re throwing out something you already own in order to buy something that isn’t plastic. You’re not doing anything good for the environment if you’re purchasing things from a Thrift Store if you still don’t need the things you’re purchasing… I don’t care how cheap they are. You’re not doing anything good for the environment by consistently donating what you have because your home is a revolving door of what is new and in style.

Furthermore a minimalist is a minimalist because they don’t buy/own things they don’t need. They’re not doing it to be trendy. They’re not doing it for clout. They’re doing it because if they don’t need something then they don’t want it taking up space in their home. Minimalists don’t have to declutter because they use what they have.

If you really want to make eco-conscious and sustainable decisions – start composting. Start recycling. Save your leftovers and eat them tomorrow. Don’t buy something because it’s trendy, buy something because you need it. Make smarter decisions.

I’m so tired of people throwing away entire boxes of Ziploc bags and plastic wrap because they purchased beeswax wrap or reusable bags on Amazon. Firstly, if we’re talking sustainability here… Amazon in itself is a huge problem. Secondly, you already own the Ziploc bags. You already own the plastic wrap. You might as well make use out of them, since you have them. And then, when you run out, that’s the time to think ‘how can I make a smarter purchasing decision next time’. Don’t just throw them in the garbage.

I will not ever fault someone for wanting to make eco-conscious, environmentally friendly decisions. That being said, please, please, please educate yourselves when doing so. Because there’s so much perfectly good/usable stuff sitting in landfills right now because someone needed to go out and buy the plastic free version, or the ‘sustainable brand’. And how is that helping anything?