The brutal truth.

There’s no secret to being social media famous. I’m sorry if this bursts preconceived notions or beliefs of what’s possible, but there isn’t.

Anyone who is famous on social media got there based on one or more of the following: dumb luck, an ability to follow fads/trends and… probably because they were in the right place at the right time (or they’re a Kardashian still riding the fame of their sister’s sex tape).

I know I’ve said this before but PLEASE don’t spend your money on social media workshops. Please don’t spend your money to buy followers. You work hard for your money and there’s nothing either of these two options can give you that will bring you fulfillment to your blog, twitter, Instagram or any other platform.

I believe people who sell ‘Social Media Management’ and people who sell ‘ [X amount] of Authentic Followers’ are stealing. I really do. Please don’t get scammed.

Be a good person.

You can be vulnerable and still be powerful. You can have a gentle heart and still be rock-solid to your core. You can be as calm as a cool breeze, but as fierce as a tiger. The measure of true strength is to embody the characteristics of the full spectrum.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, life is the messy bits. Speak your truth, love your family, care for your friends and be yourself. Your social media platforms, your blogs, your conversations with people, they don’t need to be a perfectly curated collection of beautiful and noteworthy. Be real. Be truthful. Be you. If someone’s not willing to listen to the truth, find someone else to talk to.

Being real about how the world actually works, about how life really is, that’s what I appreciate in people.

Don’t internalize the bad. Nobody needs to be walking around with that weight on their shoulders. Always speak your truth. You’ll feel sooooooo much better about life when you do.

Also, be a good person. It doesn’t take a lot. Just be a good fucking person.

On ‘playing the cards you’re dealt’.

I whine a lot to the internet. I do. I’ll admit that.

I am so incredibly grateful that it’s finally spring time in Canada.

When I started this blog I had grandiose plans of making it a fun and interesting place to come write about fun activities I was doing and posting restaurant reviews, perhaps even a lot of travel. And I still want to do all of those things. But I also believe in being real. Where I’m at in my life right now isn’t a fun place to be. And I’m not going to hide that and pretend it isn’t the case. I’m trying, though. I would like that stipulation known. I am really, genuinely trying. Sometimes the cards just suck and you have to get ready for the next hand and the next chapter in life.

The thing about wordpress is that, in spite of being a place filled with strangers, somehow it allows me to feel less alone in this universe.

I have trouble sleeping most nights. In spite of reading every sleep-help suggestion I can find and trying all of them, I still struggle to sleep. And though I wouldn’t wish this struggle on anyone, it does make me feel a little bit better to know that I’m not alone in this issue.

Things appear to be looking up. And, though I’m trying to not get my hopes up too high, I am feeling cautiously optimistic. I don’t want to talk too much about what’s going on because if it doesn’t happen, I don’t want to have to explain why. But, if it does happen, it’ll be a good step forward for me, and for us.

Derrick, the aforementioned lunatic who lives upstairs, has continued his streak of manipulation and idiocy. There’s nothing new about that. In the two months that I’ve known him he’s tried to ‘get with’ three women – none of which were available, all of which were either in a relationship or fresh out of one, and each of which I have heard him lie to on several occasions. I’m sorry, if you need to lie to spend time with someone, you’re doing it wrong.

I have an appointment with the ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) Specialist on Thursday. I’ve done the Autoimmune blood testing now and it came back negative. I’ve also done the allergy testing – which was a huge waste of my time (story for another day). I’m not sure what’s going to come from the appointment on Thursday but hopefully he’s got some new ideas of what might be able to help me. I really just want to feel healthy again.

I’m still looking for a job. I’ve mentioned a few times on this blog the stupid things I’ve run into in the job hunting process. It’s been a frustrating ordeal. Education, experience and common sense don’t appear to be worth too much these days.

Things in 2019 have sucked, so far. That’s not to say there hasn’t been good. There definitely has been good and I am not trying to minimize that. Knight has been a rock. The man is basically the only thing keeping me from losing my mind. As a whole though, this year (so far) has been a bit of a write off for me. I’m ready for some change, I’m ready to move onward and upward.

Don’t settle. That’s something I have to tell myself every day. Don’t settle. You’re worth so much more than you believe. Try and stay in the positive. Onward and upward. #MotivationMonday

All about a Knight in Shining Armour.

First and foremost, I went to the doctor this morning. I had mentioned last week that the Doctor phoned to tell me that I needed to speak with him about the results of my Autoimmune blood testing. The only appointment that I could get was for today, so, for the past week I have been sweating it out thinking every horrible option under the sun.

Got to my appointment this morning. All of my results were negative. Therefore, I still have no diagnosis. Furthermore, I am now angry and frustrated with the doctor for making me sweat for a week, only to find out that my tests were negative. Why couldn’t he tell me that over the phone?

Okay, I will leave that there. If I say more about that I’ll stay frustrated all day. So, switching gears….

Last July, I sat in one of my favourite bar’s in the world across from a handsome man, who I was meeting for the first time, and one of the first things he said to me was ‘You know, you are really pretty.’ Then he smiled sweetly and pushed his hand out across the table to hold mine.

For a first date, he was certainly winning me over quickly.

A week later he took me to a fair. That’s right – carnival games, ferris wheels, haunted houses, fake tattoos, the whole nine yards. It was possibly my favourite day of 2018.

Over the past eight months, Knight has proven himself to be the rock that stands behind you, beside you, with you, in your corner, every single time. He’s there. He’s always there. He’s always been there.

A lot has happened in the past eight months. Largely I seem to feel as though the drama has come from my life, but he’s never complained once. He’s just been there.

The day that I got fired from my job for no reason, he drove me home from work and sat at my side letting me cry on his shoulder for hours.

When we found out that my mother’s condition was cancer, he got in a car with me at 6 pm on a Saturday night so that we could drive 12 hours, through the night to go and see her.

I’m not one to gush, but he is an incredible man. A truly incredible man. One that I think every single day I do not deserve. He’s the type of man that kisses me twice on his way out the door. The type of man who brings me flowers… just because it’s Monday. The type of man who, when my anxiety is bothering me so much that I don’t feel I can get out of bed, will tell me to stay there. He’ll bring me food and drinks and distract me from my worries to help put my mind at peace. He’s also been to every single doctor’s appointment, x-ray, blood test, and everything that I’ve had to do in the past eight months in my quest to find out what’s wrong.

When I think of a support system that everyone needs but so few get, I can’t help but feel exceptionally lucky for finding him.

The love that I feel is full, and pure, and unwavering… even when we fight. Because we do fight. That’s just a part of being in a relationship though.

Knight is the type of man who works a 12 hour day and then will come home and offer to make me dinner. Not for any other reason than because he’s a good soul. Not for any other reason than that’s his heart. Pure, full and thoughtful.

I really don’t know what the future will hold for us. I hope it’s a positive one. I hope that eventually we can reach a point where it stops feeling as though there’s so much negative out there and that things can just be positive and carefree for a while. I do know though, that I want to keep him around. I know that I’m extremely lucky. I know that a love like this doesn’t come along often and I know that I’ve got something a lot of girls dream of having.

This post has been really mushy. Which, he can attest, isn’t typically my style. But, the moral of the story is that it’s so refreshing and wonderful to find a love like that.