Rant, rant, rant

A physician was on the news tonight to say that the time to act for a circuit breaker lockdown as a measure to slow the spread of corona virus is now. He went on to say that we cannot expect, nor even hope for, people to do the right thing for the greater good. He said that if the past few months have taught us anything, people aren’t going to do what’s right for everyone, they’re going to live for themselves.

I agree with him.

We’ve had more than 700 cases a day for weeks now, lately earning 900 – 1,100 a day.

It’s clear that people don’t give a rats ass about this pandemic.

Point proven if you watch YouTube. People are using positive tests for COVID as clickbait to get views. One family, known on YouTube as 8 Passengers, celebrated the father getting COVID by having him purposefully infect all of their children. Not only that but they sent their children to school after the father was diagnosed, before they were, forcing an unknown number of children from their kid’s schools into isolation and laughing about having done that in their video.

People are inherently selfish.

They don’t seem to care about anyone but themselves.

Can you imagine being a health care worker right now? Working your ass off every single day to try and keep people alive to hear that people are bragging on YouTube about how many people they exposed themselves too? Watching the government say that restrictions infringe on people’s rights to live freely? More like restrictions infringe on people’s rights to infect others freely.

More than 400 health care workers signed a single letter to our provincial government asking him for some restrictions to slow the spread of the virus. The government’s response was to make last call for alcohol in bars at 11 o clock, make sure places of worship can only operate at 1/3 capacity. Meanwhile, the premier himself happens to be in isolation because he couldn’t even follow his own guidelines and social distance.

But people will do better.

People will do better, right? Right?

I don’t feel good.

My head feels like an anvil was dropped on it.

My throat is dry, sore and my pallet swelling.

I go between stages of being so cold that I’m violently shivering, and so hot that I want to take off all of my clothes and run out into the snow.

Sinus pressure is making it difficult for me to breathe.

I’m tired. So tired. I slept for twelve hours last night and then had a four hour nap today.

My vision is blurry.

My body feels so achy. I think I’ve aged thirty years in the past 24 hours. Touching any part of my body feels like I’m touching a bruise.

Aye yai yai.

I don’t feel good.

I know I’m whining. I just need to whine for a hot minute.

As I rant/ramble on… (warning: expletives ahead)

I’m not really sure where this image originated, it seems to be making its way around the internet so I don’t know who to credit. Sorry!

First and foremost, something I’ve posted to social media but not to WordPress, The Australian Red Cross is accepting donations from around the world. If you would like to donate to help those affected by the devastation of the ongoing wildfires in Australia, please click here.

If you do not have the means to donate, I would strongly encourage anyone who reads this to inform themselves as to what is happening in Australia and the reactions (or lack thereof) the Australian government has had. Australia has one of the most, if not the most, unique and diverse ecosystems on earth with hundreds of species who call it home that exist nowhere else on earth. Everyone should be aware of what is happening, what has been lost and what is at stake.

If you’re in Australia and have been affected by these fires, or not, my heart goes out to you. I come from an area of Canada that deals with forest fires annually and I know the heart-wrenching horrors that is watching the world burn up around you… and we don’t even have Koalas to worry about.


Okay, so where to start…

The house is quiet, for a few minutes at least. Insert casual Vee.

It is the first week of the new year (and new decade) and everyone who lives in my house has been sick. Really fucking sick. I’ve been taking them to the hospital to get IVs because they’re just that sick. It has made for a lot of long days and even longer nights. Let me tell you this – cleaning up someone else’s puke is no joke. I’ve always had a respect for doctors and nurses, but when I go through week’s like this week has been, I respect them so much more.

Today, I decided that I needed to do something for myself, so I went for a massage. I told the masseuse, a woman, that I was there to get the knots worked out of my lower back. (I’ve been dealing with some serious tension in my lower back as of late and I thought a massage might help) Her response? Lathering her hands in fucking oil and then running them through my hair. Did I want a head massage? No. Did she try to persist after I told her to stop? Abso-fucking-lutely. There aren’t a lot of things in this world that make me really, truly angry… but when I have clean hair you best not fuck that up.

I was relaxed up until that point. Actual smoke started spewing from my orifices. We had a very frank discussion about what it means to listen to a customer when they make a request of you and my angry voice came out. My angry voice RARELY comes out…

Sadly, that wasn’t the only time the angry voice came out today.

I decided that it would be smart to carry my open laptop, a glass of water and a plate of dinner downstairs at one time. Yeah, that didn’t end well for me. Thank goodness I have one of the most indestructible computers of all time, but I had some very choice words for myself after that happened.

‘You’re such a fucking idiot.’

‘This is why you can’t have nice things.’

I really hope that I’m not the only person in the world to yell at myself when I do stupid things. Also, there’s really no saving your dinner when the dogs run over to start licking food off the floor at the bottom of the stairs. So… protein bars it is?

Today’s score is: World – 2, Vee – 0.

In other news, I don’t think I’ve ever done this, but here’s a song that I really love:

This band is a favourite of mine. I’ve never heard a song of their’s I didn’t like. They’re a Canadian band and they actually had a song (Knocking at the Door) become a bit of a sport anthem in the past couple of years. It was used for the NHL playoffs, NBA Finals, the Super Bowl, the World Series, the World Cup, the Olympics, and so on and so forth. They’re not so much Indie anymore, but I still love them dearly and have fond memories of their incredible shows in dark, dingy pubs across this country.

Also, here’s a book that I really love:

If you’ve ever felt like you just don’t fit anywhere in this world, like you’re misunderstood and you’d be better off on your own, away from every one and every thing dragging you down, this book is for you. I’ve read this book probably… 30 times at this point. Each time I read it I get something new from it.

Alright, I think that’s all for now. I can hear my name being called from upstairs…

Make smart choices.

Bye.

A rant about Facebook Marketplace.

One of the things I promised my parents this year was that I would help them get rid of a lot of the things they’ve been keeping in their house that they really don’t need. A lot of the things they have are worth money, but they’ve been sitting in the dark corners of their basement for YEARS. So, I told them that I’d post these things on Kijiji and Facebook Marketplace to see if they could sell.

My mom solely uses Facebook as a means to see pictures of her grandchildren, so when I mentioned Marketplace to her she said she didn’t want to deal with it. Fair. Fine. I told her I’d post them to Marketplace and deal with the people if she actually went to meet them.

Facebook Marketplace might just be the most aggravating sale platform on the internet.

First and foremost, there seems to be no reason nor rhyme as to what is allowed and what isn’t. I posted a pair of mens NewBalance shoes, Facebook told me that my ad was misleading and against the Facebook Commerce Community Guidelines. I read the Commerce Community Guidelines and it wasn’t in violation, so I appealed their decision.

Also, there are mens sneakers all over Facebook Marketplace, so I really didn’t think that my ad was against anything…

In the mean time, while my appeal was being read, I posed a pair of Ladies NewBalance Sneakers. This ad went up fine. So I presumed my appeal on the men’s pair was going to be accepted.

Nope. Three hours later, Facebook said their ruling stands and that it was misleading of me to post those shoes and it was in direct violation of their Commerce Community Guidelines.

What?

Dear Facebook: The difference between these ads is that one says mens and one says ladies.

Whatever. I left the ladies sneakers up, and just put the Mens sneakers on Kijiji.

Secondly: I honestly thought I was taking the easy job in telling my parents I’d set up a time and place for them to go and meet someone. Nope.

I genuinely think some people just message you to try and piss you off. I get the whole haggling scheme, or trying to score a deal. But if someone says no the first time, people really ought to listen to that.

The following was one conversation, with one person, over a period of six hours yesterday. The person took several long breaks between messaging me but seemed to always come back to try and haggle some more.

Me: Cost is $10. Cash only. Must pick up.
FBMP: Do you take Etransfer?
Me: No.
FBMP: Will you take $5?
Me: No
FBMP: Can I trade you item for item?
Me: No
FBMP: Do you deliver?
Me: No
FBMP: Can you find someone to deliver?
Me: No. You must pick up.
FBMP: They’re not worth $10 though.
Me: Then don’t buy them.
FBMP: Wow, you’re snooty.
Me: Thank you. These are now pending sale. Have a nice night.
FBMP: Okay, I’ll come pick them up right now.
Me: One, they’re pending sale for someone else. Two, it’s 10:30 at night. Goodnight.
FBMP: I’ll come to your house.
Me: No.
FBMP: But I really want them.
FBMP: I can come right now.
FBMP: Come on. Cash in your pocket.
FBMP: Answer Me.
Me: Please stop messaging me.
FBMP: Wow, you’re a bitch.

I’m exhausted just from this one conversation alone. I can’t till if this woman was crazy, intentionally trying to piss me off, or just annoying and doesn’t realize it.

Regretting my decision to add things to Facebook Marketplace.

lol

Adventures in job hunting: they called the wrong candidate.

When I answer the phone, if it’s a number that I do not recognize, I won’t identify myself upon answering, I’ll simply say ‘Hello’. There’s a lot of reasons for this, but bottom line is if I don’t know them and I don’t know how they get my number, I’m certainly not telling them who I am.

At 7:00 o clock this morning my phone started ringing. Typically, I’ll look before answering, but sometimes I make questionable decisions first thing in the morning.

‘Good Morning this is Jessica calling from ‘X Company’, I was hoping now was a good time to have a quick chat and ask you some questions about your application.’ The woman said.

Oh, yeah. Since I applied for a position with ‘X Company’ last week, I just assumed they were calling candidates with resumes they liked and asking a few questions.

Questions she asked were simple. Things along the lines of ‘So why did you apply for this position?’ and ‘What is your salary expecations for this position?’ and ‘What do you like about X Company?’

They were easily answered and we were about five minutes into the conversation when she said ‘So Holly, can you tell me a little about your experience with Y Company?’

I was confused.

Holly?

Y Company?

Huh?

She’d never actually acknowledged my name. She’d never actually said who she was calling for, or looking for. She simply just said ‘Hi I’m Jessica’ an then started into it.

‘I think there’s a mistake here’, I said.

‘Oh?’ She questioned.

‘I’ve never worked for Y Company’, I said.

‘Oh, Holly, it’s listed on your resume as experience for the past four years’. She started sounding suspicious.

‘My name isn’t Holly.’ I said.

‘What?’ She asked

‘My name’s not Holly and I’ve never worked at Y Company’ I said.

‘What?’ She asked again. ‘Am I speaking to Holly [Insert Last Name Here]?’

‘No. My name is Vee [Insert last name here]’ I responded.

The woman seem to become frantic and scared at this point. She began questioning me as to why I never told her my name. She didn’t take too kindly to my reminding her that she phoned me and she never acknowledged who she was calling so I just presumed in phoning my phone number she was looking to speak with me.

She then said ‘It’s really unprofessional to not acknowledge yourself when you answer the phone’.

I apologized for not acknowledging my name when I answered the phone and then I politely said that as it was my phone number, I again presumed that she was just calling for me. As I applied for this position she was speaking of, I had no reason to think she wasn’t calling for me.

She then, reluctantly, apologized for the confusion. I could tell that she didn’t really want to though.

I suggested that she could use my answers for my own application and that she must have my application there, in her candidates pool and that I hoped the phone call could bring value towards my application.

She said ‘Thanks for your time, we’ll be in touch in a few days with respect to your application’.

When she hung up I had an inkling that I was never going to hear from this company again. Just her tone and the way she spoke, I have a feeling that, though she was the one who messed up, this was counting as a strike against me.

Sure enough, about 30 minutes later I got generic rejection email that said ‘Thank you for your application. X Company has moved on to the next round of the application process and your application is not being considered at this time. Please feel free to apply for future positions on our website ———————.com.’

Welp.

Saw that one coming.

Onto the next, I guess.

Sending off job applications because I cannot sleep.

I applied for a job with a larger company that has offices in several cities across Canada. When the application was completed I got a notification that said:

“Thank you for applying for the position of —— ——- with ——— Company. Please check out our other vaccines by clicking here”

VACCINES.

VACCINES.

Not vacancies. Vaccines.

Who? What? How have they never noticed this ridiculous mistake of words? Has no one ever told them? Or have people told them and they just don’t care?

Naturally, I need to go to the ‘Vaccines Page’ to see what’s there. First thing I read at the top of the page is ‘Current Vaccines with ——– Company’.

lol

My first task I do when I get this job is teach the difference between a vacancy and a vaccine.

Okay, universe

I know I’ve said this before, but I’m ready. I’m ready for a sign, a symbol, an opportunity, a reason, an anything. I’m ready for things to change. I’m ready for things to get better. I’m trying so hard to make things better. Please, if there was ever a time, the time is now.

I need to know that something is going to fall into place, that something this year is actually going to work out. I need to know that the hard work isn’t for nothing. I need to know that I’m not wasting my efforts. I just need to know, universe, that things are going to be okay.

Please universe, send up a smoke signal. Anything. Anything at all.

Words are hard.

I’ve been staring at this screen for the past thirty minutes. I’ve written, deleted, rewritten and re-deleted all of my thoughts this evening. Why? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting change.

My thoughts don’t even seem worthy of putting into words tonight. I’m not anxious, I’m just in a mood. Things are annoying me. I can’t seem to wrap my head around what I want. I have so many ideas and none of them ever seem to come to fruition.

Lately I’ve been thinking it might be nice to just go into business for myself. You know… start a consulting firm and charge people oodles of money for my services. Wow, I can’t believe I said that out loud (so to speak). The entire concept sounds so stupid, yet so exhilarating. I know my worth. I possess such a unique skill set that I know I could bring immense value to any company that I worked for, yet for one reason or another they just don’t seem to hire me. Perhaps I should flip the coin, take control of the situation and charge the heck out of them for my services. I’m not sure that I’ll tell anyone this. At least not now. More than anything it’s a pipe dream at the moment. Perhaps one day.

Until then, I think I’ll just stay hopeful. Hopeful for success, hopeful for a future, hopeful for a day when cell phones aren’t twice as much as laptops, hopeful for happiness.

Hey Knight, if you’re reading this, I think that we should go to Vegas for my birthday. I’m saying this now so that you can take days off.

Day 15: Cancer cells, rainy days and Mondays

Some things you do not get the choice about in life. Some things are thrust upon you like a knife to the chest, slowly, surely, causing you every ounce of pain and discomfort you ever dreamed possible.

2019 is kicking my ass. Quite literally. I feel myself slipping into a state of depression and I don’t know how to fight it. Turning on a happy face for those around me isn’t working anymore. Trying to remember “you will get through this” isn’t holding much weight amidst the chaos in my head.

I’ve just returned from a trip to see my mother. She recently had a hysterectomy and has learned there were cancer cells present in her body. What’s next for her? Several weeks of radiation therapy, a year of medication and five years of being on a quote-unquote cancer watch-list.

What’s next for me? Hopefully a job. Hopefully a job that I’m qualified for, and not just something at a corner store. Likely a lot of trips back and forth to see my mom. Eventually, one day, hopefully this year, a feeling of normal. I’d love to be able to sit back in my chair and think that everything is going to be alright for a change. I’d love to not worry about where I’m going to be living in two weeks. I’d love to just… have some answers.

-V