More life lessons from me

I should make this a series.

When you hear ‘this call is being recorded’, make sure that you remember to hang up when a call has ended. There are so many recording features in our day-to-day lives that we can often ignore/forget about them. Most businesses that offer any form of customer service use them. If you call banks, stores, doctors, etc… they all have them. If you’re making a call that’s being recorded, don’t forget to hang up.

Legally, any company that uses a recording software is required to acknowledge you’re being record. Something people don’t realize though (and this is a tangent), is that you’re also legally allowed to say you do not wish to be recorded and they have to stop the recording before the call proceeds.

Anyways, a good rule for life is to always hang up your calls. This is ESPECIALLY true when you’re on a call that’s being recorded. If you don’t hang up a call that’s being recorded, you will be continuously recorded for the remainder of time taken for you to figure out you need to hang up.

A STORY TO PAIR WITH THIS LESSON

On Tuesday I had another call with the man who thinks Canadians have polar bears for pets (you can read it here, if you’d like). Our company uses a call recording software so that we can refer back to the calls and not have to frantically type meeting minutes during.

Anyways, for those of you not familiar with how this type of recording software works, it’s essentially like having a third person on the line. The ‘third person’ is the recorder. However, because it’s software and not a person, it doesn’t know to hang up when I hang up. So, when I left the meeting at 41:03 and he didn’t, he was recorded for another hour and twelve minutes.

You best believe I was listening to that.

In the hour and twelve minutes he continued to record, he continued to be at his computer. His wife came in shortly after I hung up and started asking him about me. He referred to me as ‘a hardass’ and ‘just another stupid Canadian’. He said he’d have the deal wrapped by Friday.

He won’t.

He and his wife proceeded to argue about why he needs to deal with me at all, which turned into an argument about how the dog was barking because he never takes the dog outside and she always has to do it. Then he turned on a meditation session and proceeded to listen to it, followed by calling one of his coworkers.

I will spare you the details of what happened in the remaining hour.

By the end of the recording, one hour and twelve minutes after I hung up, there was a loud ‘Shit. Fuck. Shit. Shit. Shit. Seriously? It’s been recording this whole fucking time?’ Then he hung up.

Suffice to say, when a call is over… hang up. Don’t be ‘that guy’.

Canadian cliches

I’ve been speaking with a potential client for a few days this week and he keeps asking me about Canadian cliches… except not about the realistic cliches, about the stupid/silly ones. The problem is, I’m sensing that he really has no idea and he might actually think that we own polar bears as pets. He keeps implying that polar bears are as common as cats and dogs in Canada. He also definitely thinks we eat beaver tails. He also thinks that all Canadians know one another. When I told him there are 37 million people in Canada his response was ‘Holy shit, where you all been hiding all these years?’

He seems like he’s lead an incredibly sheltered life. He was born and raised and has never left where he’s living now, not even for a holiday (from what he tells me). Which, hey… some people lead simple lives and don’t desire globetrotting, I can understand that much. I just… as someone who’s always been curious for information, find it hard to comprehend someone reaching their forties and never asking or trying to learn. I guess it wasn’t a priority to him. He learned what he needed too and left what he didn’t. lol

I just… I always assumed that it was mockery when people made fun of Canadian’s for stupid cliches. It never dawned on me that people might actually believe them. Perhaps that’s my bad. He seems to like his sheltered bubble, so I don’t want to burst it at this stage of his life. On the other hand…?

So… Jake quit.

Am I surprised? Not really.

Am I glad? Absolutely. Dealing with the man was exhausting. I’m pretty sure that misogyny is his middle name. He clearly did not appreciate having to work with a female. (I was going to add more to this sentence, but the truth is, he just seemed like he didn’t like me because I was female. He also took the liberty of blaming his blunders on his assistant, exclaiming that she was female. I reckon that most of his interactions with females are the same)

I’m exhausted.

Last week he said in an email that I was ‘probably PMSing’ and that’s why I was so particularly hard on him in the meeting we had with my company’s CEO. Firstly, those were all legitimate questions that I asked. Secondly, what a fucking idiot.

Honestly, they had to talk me down last Thursday when I saw that email. Part of me wanted to get on a plane and go visit him just so that I could feel the joy of punching him in the face.

We all thought he was going to quit. We were waiting for him to quit. Yesterday when he “took a stand” and defended his character against my “perilous attacks”, the three of us in the meeting simultaneously thought “what took you so long?”.

What caused him to quit was a surprise to me. Well actually, I guess I’m not really surprised at what caused him to quit when I think back on it. In the moment it seemed like an easy-exit and oooooh boy did he throw a temper tantrum. Jake quit because I asked that he sign a confidential disclosure agreement. I honestly didn’t think it was a lot to ask. He wanted me to provide all of the analytics for my website, my budgets, sales aggregates and administrative views of all of our digital platforms, access to certain clients and a full list of our direct, closest competitors. I wanted him to sign an agreement that said he wasn’t going to take all of the data we provided him to our direct competitor to say ‘Hey, pay me double and I’ll give you their data’.

Jake took my asking him to sign a confidential disclosure agreement as an attack on his character and his business.

Surely I can’t be the first person in his 12 years of business who’s asked for some sort of an agreement to ensure our data and client information is protected?

He was MAAAAAAAAAAD.

I have a two year old nephew and my nephew’s tantrums are easier to deal with than Jake was in that meeting yesterday.

He stomped his foot (actually, he stood up on camera to stomp his foot), he said ‘how dare you’ with great passions and even exclaimed that his twelve years in business, he’s never been so disrespected by a client before me. Which… holla! If asking someone for a totally legitimate legal agreement that he’ll protect confidential information is disrespectful, I’ll take that trophy.

Due diligence is a lot more important to me than hurting his tiny ego.

I don’t know him. And from the interactions we’ve had, I’m not that impressed with his character. How on earth am I supposed to trust that my company’s private data will be protected in his care?

After his tantrum Jake said that he would speak with us in a few hours and promptly ended the call.

About a half hour later he had his assistant send us an email letting us know that he cannot work in partnership with a company that would so boldly call his character and his business into question and for that reason he is terminating our partnership.

Good fucking riddance.

Bye Felicia.

Our CEO wrote him back saying that he’s expecting a full refund by Friday of this week and that if we don’t have it by that time then our lawyers will be in contact.

I officially have ‘Veto Power’ from here forward. I no longer have to deal with Jake, and I’ve been given the green light to leave reviews about his sexist emails and remarks (administrative duties, babysitter and PMSing) online.

To those who were asking why I don’t name/shame him in the stories I share on this blog, I can’t. Well, I could, but I won’t. I can only speak to his shiteous personality, bad attitude and absolutely uncalled-for comments about me because I am female. Sure, I think his business is a scam, but I can’t prove that. If I cannot prove that, I cannot speak to that. The internet is forever and it wouldn’t be right for me to leverage speculation on the internet that could negatively effect his business and the jobs of those who work for him, no matter how much I dislike the man.

I think his business is a scam, yes. I don’t know his business is a scam, though. So he’s just Jake. No last name, no business name. I’ll be leaving appropriate reviews in adequate places that explain his distaste for the female gender. People deserve to know that much.

Anyways, Jake is gone and I am so dang happy about that.

Meeting with Jake in one hour

He sent my boss a really salty email about the fact that he should be able to do his work ‘without a babysitter’ (direct quote, referring to me as a babysitter), but that if we don’t trust him, he will allow us to see the process. It will inevitably take him longer, though. As a result, he will charge us more.

He then said ‘Can’t wait to meet Katie. If she’s anything like Vee, I’m going to be earning a lot more, you know what I’m sayin?’ (Katie is a coworker that I work with a lot)

I’m trying to figure out why this moron is so dense that he just thinks the entire male gender is a part of his ‘broo-ha-ha’ boys club, or if he shoots emails like these into the dark as a test, hoping he’ll get the response he so desires.

If I were a betting woman, I would suggest the majority of his clients are men.

Wish me luck.

Jake just won’t quit.

I’m forty-three minutes into the day and I’m ready give up on the day.

This petulant asshole is trying to get fired. I swear.

If this is how he operates his business, I am unsure as to why anyone would do business with him. Maybe that’s it, though. Maybe no one does business with him and this entire facade is… a scam… like I predicted from day one.

Stories to come.

Additional question that I haven’t previously asked but am wondering more with each passing day: If this man runs a successful marketing company that has raised more than a billion dollars in capital and worked with companies like Nike and Samsung, why is he handling my company’s account? Why am I dealing with the head of the company? One would think (well, I would think) that if he’s so great he’s worked with two of the most recognizable brands on earth and raised more than a billion dollars in capital, that he’d have people who work under him who handle smaller accounts. But no, the head of the company handles all accounts? Every last one of them? Either he’s passing off accounts to people without acknowledging that, or, he doesn’t have as many accounts as he’s trying to portray that he has.

Jake is chachi.

Jake is so chachi. (A fool)

After he annoyed our CEO yesterday, I asked for us to have a call. Our CEO, wanting to watch me put him in his place, scheduled the meeting, waiting for Jake to accept, and then invited me after he’d accepted. Some might say manipulative, but, I say he deserved it after his comments yesterday saying that he wasn’t going to need my assistance unless he had administrative issues.

First thing Jake said when I showed up in the video chat? “Ohhhhhh, who’s this?”

“This is Vee. She has some questions for you that I too, would like to know the answers to,” our CEO said.

“Ohhhhh, terrific.” He said, sarcastically. “Hit me with your worst!” He exclaimed.

I gave a pleasant greeting, thanked him for his time with myself and our CEO and his response was ‘That’s sweet. What do you need from me?’

Well Jake. I need a lot. HAHAHA!

He definitely was not prepared to cross paths with me. He got very defensive. VERY DEFENSIVE. He quickly turned hostile, and I don’t think he could’ve hung up the call more quickly than he did when he determined the meeting was over because he’d had enough.

Me: “So Jake, I’ve read you’re a marketing genius, that you actually graduated with honours from Stanford. You also run a business that’s raised more than 1 billion dollars in capital during its lifetime. That’s really impressive.”

Jake interrupts me: “Thank you, thank you. I do what I can.” He was acting smug at this point.

Me: “Why does your google business page, for a business that’s more than a decade old and has raised more than a billion dollars in capital, provide the address for a Dollarama?”

Jake begins tripping over his words, dumbounded at the question he just heard.

Jake: “Well, that might have been an oversight on our former assistant. I didn’t keep track of the data that she logged.”

Me: “But Jake, you’re the marketing genius, you’re the face of the company. You didn’t once think to google your own company? Surely you’re not running your billion dollar business out of the back of a dollar store?”

Jake: “Well, well, umm… well…”

Me: “That’s okay, I’ve clearly caught you off guard. I’ve got a few more questions, we can move onto those, if that’s alright?

Jake: “Oh, yeah… yes, hit me with them!”

I take note at how quickly he’s wanting to move on after metaphorically falling flat on his face from my first question.

Me: “Your website proclaims that you provide SEO and business integration services for companies that allows them broader reach, better digital footprints and repeat visitors to their websites and social media platforms. I was very interested with the piece about working with Nike and Samsung. Those are some impressive clients.”

Jake: “Yes, we’re very proud of how we help our clients and the clients we’ve been able to bring into the fold over the years.”

Me: “I’m just curious what information you can provide to companies like Nike and Samsung, some of the most recognizable brands on earth, when your very own marketing company hasn’t done proper enough SEO for it’s own digital footprint to appear on any of the first five pages of any search engines.”

Jake, clearly getting pissed off at me at this point, but trying to stay professional: “I’m sorry?”

Me: “When I google your company, all I see is a google business page that directs me to a Dollarama. There isn’t a link to your actual business website anywhere on the first five pages of google.”

Jake: “We have a very common business name.”

Me: “Surely a marketing genius as good as yourself, someone who graduated with honours from Stanford, could be able to figure a way around that? After all, you are charging us $7,500 to do SEO for our business. How do I know I’m going to get quality results from a man who won’t even do SEO for his own business?”

Jake: “We’re speaking semantics here. Whether or not I do SEO for my own company matters not to how I can help your company.”

Me: “Okay, well are you aware that each of your four defunct company Instagram pages that haven’t been updated in several years rank higher for search engines then your actual company website?”

Jake: “We don’t have four Instagram pages!”

Me: “Actually, you do. You also have a Facebook page that hasn’t been updated since 2014, that provides a different business address from your google business page, and a Twitter account that I’m pretty certain your coworker used as a platform to profess is his love, and subsequent hatred, for his former fiancee during their breakup.”

Jake, stumbling over his tongue with a depressing frown on his face: “I can’t tell you what my coworkers would’ve done with respect to social media platforms for the company.”

Me: “But you’re in charge of marketing. Surely you understand the importance of a clean, and thoroughly vetted, digital footprint? Especially in a sales/service industry.”

Jake to our CEO: “I’ve got a lot of things to do today. Are we done yet?”

Me: “You know Jake, I was just hoping we could meet on a level playing ground. I want to ensure our company is getting the best bang for our buck. Surely you can understand that with our initial investment, and with the money we’re due to pay you yet, that we were hoping to get our concerns addressed so each party can work cohesively together.”

Jake (making a fist as though he’s frustrated but trying to stay calm): “What do you want?”

Me: “I was curious… “

Jake: “What? What are you curious about?”

Me: “You and each of your colleagues have exactly the same amount of contacts on LinkedIn. It’s a rather obscure number as well.”

Jake: “So?”

Me: “Did you purchase those connections?”

Jake: “Are you kidding me?”

Me: “Also, I’m curious, how many employees does your company have? LinkedIn says 47-200, but your website says four. You’ve eluded to only a handful and a quick google search (seeing everything that comes up prior to your business website on the search engine) brought me to a listing for your company on the Business Bureau that says you have 9. So… how many people are working there?”

Jake: “Is that relevant to anything, or are you just trying to be difficult?”

Me: “Just call me curious.”

Jake to our CEO: “Well [CEO’s name], the third degree this morning has been great, but I actually have to head off for another meeting in about ten minutes here that I need to prepare for. I’ll be in touch in a few days.”

Jake immediately hangs up from the call before I or the CEO could say anything more.

The CEO immediately started laughing now that we were the only two left on the call. I asked him what he thought was so funny. He laughed and said “Dang, could you imagine what would happen if you ever decided to go to Law school? I felt like I was watching a deposition… and he crumbled, very quickly.”

We agreed to wait to hear from Jake to see what he had to say. We hung up the call and I went on with my day.

Jake, about a half hour ago, had his assistant email our CEO asking that work moving forward be run through him and that I not be included because he feels I would make the project more difficult than it has to be.

Our CEO wrote his assistant back, CC’ing Jake and myself, saying that all work and communication can run through me, or Jake can give back the $7,500 we paid him.

Sir, you picked the wrong woman to underestimate

A few weeks back I shared a story about how my company’s CEO signed us up to work with a Consulting company that, from the outside, seemed like a scam.

After I wrote that I addressed my concerns with the CEO and he assured me that this was a chance he was willing to take and if we got scammed, or fell flat on our faces, thanks to the move, he’d give me veto power from here forward. So I said I’d be a willing participant.

Our CEO emailed Jake at said company and told Jake that I would be the primary point of contact for our company and to run all communications and work through. He also asked that we start on January 11.

It’s January 11th.

You know who I never heard from on the first 10 days of January? Jake.

I thought ‘Wow, okay. Jake must be one of those ‘Walk into work at 8:00 am when he starts at 8:00 am’ kinds of guys.

Nevertheless, I didn’t say a thing. I patiently waited.

This morning, our CEO CC’ed me on an email to Jake and says ‘As noted in the emails I sent on December 23rd and January 5th, all communication and work needs to go through Vee’.

Jake had emailed the CEO this morning asking for information to get started with the project, ignoring the two emails in which our CEO said to go through Vee.

The CEO then wrote him back, CC’ing me, saying ‘Please send all communication and work through Vee’. If there’s one person at my work you don’t want to piss off, it’s the CEO. I could tell from the tone of the email that he was annoyed.

Jake is… either an idiot, or a cocky asshole… or possibly a combination of both? Nevertheless, Jake ‘replied all’ to the email. In the email he wrote back that was sent to myself and our CEO, he said:

“I only really need help from you at the moment. I’d also prefer to keep conversations between us guys, to keep it easier. If I run into administrative issues, then I can get Vee involved.”

US GUYS? Who writes that in a business environment? It sounds so sexist. Does he think he’s being funny? Is he really dumb enough to not understand how it sounds?

ADMINISTRATIVE ISSUES? This is entirely sexist from my perspective. Noting the inclusion of the female involved would only occur if there are administrative issues. What does he think I do? Store passwords for the Social Media platforms to let our CEO run them?

It’s day one of our agreement and Jake, you’re already annoying me. You’ve already annoyed our CEO. Oh, I cannot wait to see what kind of a hot mess this develops into. Jake thinks I’m the designated coffee deliverer for this company, apparently.

The Discord Dummy catches COVID

One of the reasons that I was very anxious about how sick I was this past week was because one of my coworkers recently let us know that he tested positive for COVID.

Firstly, I wasn’t surprised when he told us. I’ve written about him on this blog before, here and here. Basically, he’s been exceptionally careless about the ongoing pandemic. He’s been going on dates and hooking up with females like it’s nobody’s business, and, detailing his exploits on the company discord. The fact that he has COVID was a little bit of karma finally catching up with him.

“Practice safe sex” really takes on a whole new meaning when there’s a deadly pandemic sweeping the globe. I can’t imagine the frustration of the health care workers trying to do contact tracing and having to follow ‘Girl I had sex with from Tinder’ as a lead.

While I haven’t been physically present within six feet of him, we were in the same office together for several days. We walked the same halls, opened the same doors, you know… we shared the same vicinity. So, the fact that I was really sick had me extremely worried that it was COVID and that I had caught it from him.’

Anyways, apparently he’s felt like absolute shit. He went so far as to say this is the sickest he’s ever been in his entire life. Do we think he’s going to learn anything from this experience? Doubtful.

The good news is, I didn’t have COVID. I had the flu. I’m feeling much better now, which I am grateful for. I think I was feeling extra whiney when I was sick because I had the added anxiety of waiting for test results. Thankfully I was able to avoid people for several days so I know for certain that no one else got sick because of me.

Grocery delivery is quickly becoming one of my favourite conveniences.

As for Axel, haven’t heard from him in a couple of days. Hopefully he’s recovering well. Even if he did have this coming, I still hope he’s not suffering too badly.

Back when we first started hearing about this virus in late January on the news, one of the first things my brother said about it was “You really can’t vouch for the healthiness of anyone but yourself”. Which is so, so, so true. If anyone who reads this is dating during this pandemic, just be careful. You really can’t vouch for the health of the other person… even if they say they’re perfectly healthy. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Story Time – Blaming ‘the other woman’

I’m horrible with telling stories but this one just… yeah.

In my previous life (my last job) one of the things that I did as a part of my job duties was plan charitable events to raise money for those in need. These events varied from banquets to sports tournaments to good ole’ fashioned telethons where we took donations.

In order to entice more people to come to our events and spend all of their money, I was in charge of getting various people of a certain ‘status’ in society to come to the events as well. What we would do was insert who we would refer to as ‘celebrities’ into teams, or at various tables, throughout the events so they were mingling with the folks who had big bank accounts that we wanted donations from.

One of the ‘celebrities’ (I feel weird using that term because I don’t think he’s a celebrity, but for lack of better terminology, I’ll use this term from here on out) that we ALWAYS had at our events, we’ll call him Luke, presently plays in one of the major North American Professional Sports Leagues.

Luke is an asshole.

Luke is a philanderer.

Luke likes to take money and free things from wherever he can get it.

I’ve mentioned my previous boss on this blog before, he was a pretty horrible dude and kind of an idiot. Well, his philosophy was that, if he made the celebrities happy, it didn’t matter how much he spent because the rich folk would make donations and he could just write those expenses off from the donations he got.

So my former boss used to tell me ‘it doesn’t matter how much it costs, or what it is, just make sure that Luke is happy’.

Oh, I should add, Luke is married.

Luke never invited his wife on these trips to these events because Luke wanted time away from his wife to be a philanderer.

My former boss, being male and an asshole just like Luke, used to egg him on. He would take Luke to bars after the event was over and tell him to ‘go for it’ in reference to grabbing women and fondling them, or trying to coax them into the upgrade king suite room my boss had upgrade Luke too at the hotel.

Essentially, his attitude was ‘Your wife’s not here so why not hook up with whomever you please and have a little fun!’

One of the things that he used to say to Luke was ‘When wifey’s away, the boys will play’.

Yeah, I know, it used to make me vomit as well. I always had a really hard time with it. Morally, it felt wrong. Legally, it felt wrong spending charitable dollars to get him an upgraded room, a car service, everything he wanted. But, when I ‘took too long’ to organize these things, my boss would do it himself and remind me that I’m useless.

I always felt really bad for his wife. She was married to this cockroach of a human being and a part of me wondered if she knew or not what happened when he went to these events. (It’s worth noting he wouldn’t just attend our events, he would go to any events where they would give him free stuff, free rooms, free car rentals for the weekend, etc…)

After about four years of running these events, paying for Luke to have whatever he wanted so that it was that much easier for him to cheat on his wife, I actually wound up in a hair salon at the same time as Luke’s wife one afternoon.

She was there with a friend of her’s, they were sitting next to each other in the chairs getting their hair dyed blonde. (A professional athlete married to a fake blonde… there’s a stereotype for you)

Initially, I didn’t meet her, I was just sitting two chairs down from them there to get my hair cut. I could hear the conversation that she was having with her friend and her friend was telling her to cut her losses and leave Luke. Her friend was telling her that Luke wasn’t a good guy and that she deserved better. In that moment, I really appreciated her friend as a human being because… you know you’ve got a damn good friend when they’re willing to tell you brutal and honest truths like that.

I was a little taken aback by her response to her friend. She essentially told her friend to shut up and that she wasn’t giving up the life that being the wife of an athlete has awarded her. She then went on to say that she really didn’t care who Luke ran around with because at the end of the day, he always came back to her and he’d always come with gifts when he did.

It was at that point that I really stopped feeling sorry for her.

She openly knew her husband was cheating on her and she didn’t care because being married to him made her rich. Hey, if you’re cool with your husband cheating on you then I’m going to stop considering you at all when I see how many women your husband can hook up with in one night. Threesomes… foursomes… fivesomes… yeah.

Fast forward to, well to today.

Luke’s wife is actually pregnant right now and Luke’s name has been floating around gossip websites/blogs/tweets about the league he plays in the past week. The rumour is that someone else is also pregnant with his child.

Am I surprised? Not even in the slightest.

Do I think this could be true? Even if it wasn’t true, people in the league’s circles know how much of a philanderer he is, so I don’t think people are questioning the truth to it. I genuinely think people just assume it’s true.

What shocked me was that I went to his wife’s Instagram page today to see if she’d posted anything since these rumours started circulating. Seem his wife is presently trying to become an ‘Influencer’, and she has quite the following. Today, she posted a photo of her baby bump with a lengthy caption proclaiming that this woman (calling her out by name) is responsible for breaking up her family. The caption went on to call this woman various, very graphic names as insults, proclaiming that she knew what she was doing and why are women so horrible and how could this woman take advantage of her poor, innocent husband like this. This post was incredible vicious from start to finish. She called this woman a social climber, said that she only hooked up with Luke because of his athlete status and at the end of it she encouraged her Instagram followers to go to this woman’s Instagram page and harass her for breaking up Luke’s family.

I’m sorry that I’m not sorry. Dear Luke’s wife… you’ve literally known for years that your husband cheats on you with… practically anyone who has a vagina. In fact, he slept with two of my former coworkers. You’ve openly told your friends that you stay with Luke because you like the life of being married to an athlete and because he always brings you gifts when he comes back from cheating on you.

WHAT FUCKING RIGHT DO YOU HAVE CALLING ON PEOPLE TO HARASS THIS WOMAN? Why is this woman’s fault and not your husband’s fault? He knew what he was doing. He was a willing participant in this. If we’re all being honest with this scenario, he’s probably the person who initiated it.

The human race.

I don’t understand the human race.

If a woman did get pregnant from having sex from a married man, that sucks. That sucks for her and her child to be because the child will probably always be treated as the mistake.

The thing I don’t understand though, why is it this woman’s fault? Your husband chose to cheat. Two consenting adults were involved in this. And, given the fact that you’ve known he’s been cheating on you all along, I’d go so far as to say three consenting adults were involved in this. So you sending your Instagram followers after this woman to harass here is pretty fucking stupid and pretty fucking petty.

Honestly, this woman who’s rumoured to be pregnant, I hope that she takes legal action against them. Luke’s wife told the internet where she works in the end of her vicious post about her. She openly called for people to harass her and then told the internet where she worked. I’m not well versed in the legal system, but couldn’t she be charged for inciting violence?

Anyways, that’s the drama for today.